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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider not having children, just because of the pain?

167 replies

RentANDBills · 29/10/2016 18:30

I've just had a copper coil fitted.
If this is something you are considering doing, please don't read this - I don't want to be responsible for influencing any choices Sad

Anyway, I've just had a copper coil fitted. It was the single most painful thing that has happened to me.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but historically have a very high pain threshold so was nervous, but not too concerned.

I've read some bad things online about them, and actually think I got off lightly as the Doctor fits them day in day out (sexual health clinic) and did it really efficiently, no messing about. Though I couldn't lie still long enough for her to properly check with the ultrasound thingy as I immediately needed to go to the bathroom and basically had a panic attack Blush Blush Blush

I always thought I wanted children, though not right now, but I'm really really worried that this will now mean I'm too frightened to do so, when the time is right.

I honestly can't imagine how it could have hurt more, you could have stabbed me through the stomach and it would have made no difference.

I understand that it was a similar pain to child birth, except child birth is the same thing over and over again! Halloween Shock

AIBU to genuinely let this influence my decision in the future?
(I realise this probably means I don't want children "enough")

OP posts:
datingbarb · 29/10/2016 19:53

Honestly it's not as bad as you imagine, I'm a total wimp seriously bad with pain and I have had 4 children with no pain relief not even gas and air... now having my ripped off toenail pushed back into the nail bed was another story I screamed, kicked, chained the gas and air, swore and had 4 people hold me down Shock

ElspethFlashman · 29/10/2016 19:53

Scone when they don't work they're just topped up - if there's time.

I had a shit one first time round and it was all one sided/patchy/crap and I was still roaring with the pain so in the end it was topped up 3 times!

By the end it had basically become a full spinal block. Dead from the waist down.

Not that I was complaining, tbh.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/10/2016 19:57

My DD was 4 weeks early, born at 4lb 9 ounces. It is in the top three most painful things ever BUT not (believe it or not), the worst (I rank them even). The other two were a toothache (yep really), I had to endure for six days (plus the absess) before my job could get me a flight home from Goa to London to have it out (which they couldn't because of the infection/absess). The other was a neck injury, the agony was horrendous.
If I'm honest the tooth was still far worse than having DD.

DixieWishbone · 29/10/2016 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlingMurmuration · 29/10/2016 20:05

The pain I had before my epidural was seriously the worst thing I'd ever experienced, literally beyond belief. Gas and air didn't touch it (to the extent that I wonder if the mouthpiece was even working!). But you know what, it's such a short time! What puts me off doing it again is the horrendous pregnancy, the hideous birth damage, the colic, the PND, the extreme dullness of maternity leave.... Really labour was nothing compared to the rest of it.

Serin · 29/10/2016 20:05

I've had 3 big babies without pain relief.

I have honestly had worse period pain.

Don't let your awful experience with the coil put you off OP. I am too much of a wimp to have one fitted.

purplefox · 29/10/2016 20:10

I've given birth twice yet the thought of a coil being inserted makes me feel queasy. Babies coming out are normal, coils being stuck in isn't.

Plus, with gas and air I can't even remember any pain.

NavyandWhite · 29/10/2016 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 29/10/2016 20:13

I birthed a ten pounder with an epidural and I recommend it to you! My recent c section was far more hassle.

Farmmummy · 29/10/2016 20:16

I haven't had a coil but a smear test is much worse than birth and I've had an emergency section (wouldn't want another but liveable) and vaginal birth (much easier for me) take the pain relief and focus on having a baby at the end. Migraine pain is much worse too

user1471461436 · 29/10/2016 20:19

I have had two babies and found my first smear (post baby as I was too young prior) distressing! My bitch of a gp keeps trying to push me to have a coil and if she mentions it again I will come at her with a blimmin speculum - the whole idea makes my blood run cold. Pain is worse when you are afraid and the whole thing to me feels invasive and unnatural. By the time you are in the hospital to have baby and a midwife has actually has the time to check you really are more concerned baby is well

Lighthouseturquoise · 29/10/2016 20:23

I've given birth twice to big babies, but never in a million years would I have a coil. The very thought makes me feel sick.

I found giving birth hard but bearable and natural.

Serialweightwatcher · 29/10/2016 20:24

I am the biggest wus going but managed to have 2 DS's .... also had coils fitted after - I'd have happily gone into hosp about 3 weeks before to make sure I had every pain relief going. I had pethadine which made me feel drunk and that much top up in the epidural that I couldn't feel my legs until the next day - you would be absolutely fine - it's a different pain altogether from the coil which can be a bit stabby but maybe they didn't put it in as well as they could - my first coil was completely painless and I actually asked if they'd done it. You may have been a little wound up and therefore your muscles may have been contracting.

Fluffy24 · 29/10/2016 20:26

I'd less pain, either acutely (from big needle into spine) or otherwise (wound healing etc) from an ELCS than I did with Mirena coil fitting. Or maybe the morphine and a baby at the end was a contributor!!

Coil ghastly at the time (couple of hours later I was absolutely fine and have had no problems since) - my legs ached like buggery, presumably because I'd tensed them so much. I was actually yelling GrinSad

thecraftyfox · 29/10/2016 20:27

Had a copper coil fitted, had a 9lb6 baby with forceps. I got good drugs for the baby plus I got a really cute baby! I remember labour hurt but the sensation of it.

Kidney stones and an impacted infected wisdom tooth were much worse. And you don't want to keep what comes out either!

HedgehogHedgehog · 29/10/2016 20:30

I had this with a coil. Whilst having it put in i passed out. Then i was so afraid having it taken out that it took five attempts with different nurses on different days to finally manage it. (and on the attempt id managed it id actually drugged myself with diazipam id gotten off a friend )

fast forward a few years and ive had a baby. Natural birth with epidural. Not gonna lie it was horrendous but it was in no way the same as the coil incident. I didnt have a panic attack. Its a totally different thing. I was scared before hand and spoke to the specialist mental health midwife about my problems with the coil and internal exams, and i fully expected to have a complete breakdown. But it just isnt like that. Your body is giving birth its very very different to having a stranger put a piece of metal inside you. Its more painful but for me much less psychologically traumatic.

Whatsername17 · 29/10/2016 20:34

Your choice really. For me, an abcess on my tooth was far more painful than giving birth. I loved giving birth. Felt like superwoman!

oldlaundbooth · 29/10/2016 20:35

Cervical exam was far worse than getting to the to 5cms dilated. Far, far worse. I still wince at the thought.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 29/10/2016 20:35

OP the pain of having a copper coil fitted was the most deeply unpleasant sensation I have ever known.

I've had a baby (longer drawn out pain, but very different in nature and not comparable, yes hard work but not in a 'never again' way). Also had smear. Also other procedures, ops etc over my lifetime.

Nothing could persuade me to have a coil fitted ever again, it was horrendous.

HedgehogHedgehog · 29/10/2016 20:36

like, for me, giving birth is much more painful than having the coil put in but the pain has less impact in a way because of whats going on. When i had the coil put in it felt terrifying, unnatural, letting a stranger shove a thing up you.... my whole body was fighting it and tensing up.
When you give birth your body is actively trying to give birth, so although its painful it feel like something you are just going to have to do and theres a sort of adreneline and focus. And of course you are anticipating holding your baby in your arms at the end.
So dont let your fear of the coil put you off childbirth, its a very different experience you probably wont react in the same way at all. xx

TheSpottedZebra · 29/10/2016 20:38

I bore on about this all the time, but really attitudes to female pain are appalling. Why weren't you offered any pain relief for such an intrusive procedure? Why aren't most women? AND why aren't we told how painful it can be? Oh, because pain for 'women's things' is always dismissed or minimised.

Original poster
RentANDBills · 29/10/2016 20:39

I feel a little better! Thank you.

Though the whole "you get a baby afterwards" isn't yet a huge selling point, I look after a baby for a living and they. are. hard.

I really hope I change my feelings on that one, but I'm only a "tight cervixed 25 year old" as someone upthread said Grin and broodiness hasn't yet kicked in.

OP posts:
My2favboys · 29/10/2016 20:40

Yeah I'd agree with the people that it's a doing pain. It's not pointless, with every pain you're getting closure to the end, youll manage. I had 2 drug free births and I am a very anxious person by nature and had never experienced pain no broken bones etc

StarUtopia · 29/10/2016 20:41

Ok. So, in my time, I had two fitted.

The first time, I was young. Before children. Basically had it fitted as emergency (couldn't have the morning after pill). Please don't let this experience relate it any way to childbirth. I was that distressed after my coil i took a week off work (might sound extreme but I was 22 and honestly felt like i'd been violated :( ) The pain was extreme, intimate and quite frankly up there with the worse pain I've felt.

Round two (10 years later) wasn't much better if I'm honest.

Childbirth was pretty bad, but you get pain relief - and a baby!

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 29/10/2016 20:43

Pain threshold is highly individual.

Having children is not compulsory. If you don't want to, then you don't have to.