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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider not having children, just because of the pain?

167 replies

RentANDBills · 29/10/2016 18:30

I've just had a copper coil fitted.
If this is something you are considering doing, please don't read this - I don't want to be responsible for influencing any choices Sad

Anyway, I've just had a copper coil fitted. It was the single most painful thing that has happened to me.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but historically have a very high pain threshold so was nervous, but not too concerned.

I've read some bad things online about them, and actually think I got off lightly as the Doctor fits them day in day out (sexual health clinic) and did it really efficiently, no messing about. Though I couldn't lie still long enough for her to properly check with the ultrasound thingy as I immediately needed to go to the bathroom and basically had a panic attack Blush Blush Blush

I always thought I wanted children, though not right now, but I'm really really worried that this will now mean I'm too frightened to do so, when the time is right.

I honestly can't imagine how it could have hurt more, you could have stabbed me through the stomach and it would have made no difference.

I understand that it was a similar pain to child birth, except child birth is the same thing over and over again! Halloween Shock

AIBU to genuinely let this influence my decision in the future?
(I realise this probably means I don't want children "enough")

OP posts:
Chrisinthemorning · 29/10/2016 18:49

YANBU.
But if the thought worries you that much you should see your GP and ask for a referral. Once you've talked things over with Obs and gynae you might feel better and if not at least could get an ELCS agreed. They hurt too but it's not the same and if you are scared of childbirth ELCS easier to deal with and plan for.
I felt the same btw and left ttc for ages. We then needed lots of help conceiving which might not have been necessary if we'd started earlier.
We now have one son, born by ELCS and we are done at one.
I have a Mirena and had a GA for it fitting.

donajimena · 29/10/2016 18:50

I've given birth twice and had a copper coil fitted. I had to be peeled off the ceiling after having my coil fitted.
Childbirth was a doddle because I was off my tits. Grin

miserablesod · 29/10/2016 18:51

Childbirth isn't that bad once you've sucked on some gas and air.

jobrum · 29/10/2016 18:51

I had a coil fitted when I was a tight-cervixed 22 year old. Absolute agony. Awful, horrible pain and like you, mine was fitted efficiently by an experienced doctor. I have since given birth and the two pains were nothing alike. I am pregnant and hoping for another vaginal birth but would definitely think twice about another coil! That said, it worked fantastically for the five years I had it and did not hurt to have it removed.

Stillwishihadabs · 29/10/2016 18:51

Oh God-really ? I seriously didn't feel it 1st time round, I haven't taken the day off or anything.....

TheSconeOfStone · 29/10/2016 18:52

I had an epidural with my first and didn't feel a think although the many stiches stung afterwards. Having the copper coil 3 months after all those stiches was a bad idea and I nearly hit the roof. Brought tears to my eyes.

Despite the stiches I had a second baby on gas and air. Was induced which is supposed to be more painful than natural contractions and turned down the offer of an epidural as I was hoping to avoid the damage I had with baby numbed 1. It was extremely painful but a really positive experience. I felt strong and in control and had my gorgeous baby at the end of it. No
bad memories of the pain unlike a broken finger or toe.

I'm a total wimp when it comes to pain but the desire to be mum was stronger than my dead in the end.

TataEs · 29/10/2016 18:53

i had a stretch and sweep at 37w with ds as i was in slow labour and they were trying to move things along. it was the single most painful experience of my life. and also i felt violated after, had a panic attack and actually stopped contracting and didn't have him for over a week after. labour was painful, but not like that. labour with ds2 was so ok i thought the day after about how i would do that again! i would never have a sweep tho!

MabelSideswipe · 29/10/2016 18:55

Who told you that childbirth is like having a copper coil fitted? Is it not...in any way.

I have been told that generally copper coils are much better for women who have had children as it hurts less to fit them. I have had three and the coil didn't hurt at all.

I have also had two unmedicated births....hurt but manageable.

PerspicaciaTick · 29/10/2016 18:58

It hurt lots, but that didn't stop me and pushing my babies out despite the pain left me on a huge Adrenalin high afterwards...that and the Oxytocin love made it a very intense experience but the pain was a side issue really.
So, fuck off pain

AidingAndAbetting · 29/10/2016 18:58

I didn't think copper coils were recommended for women who hadn't had children - precisely because they were so painful to fit?

Personally, I've had 2 children. And I've had a copper cool fitted. Both were painful but there was something about the scraping, dragging feeling of having a coil fitted that was a special kind of yuk.

Do remember that there are strong drugs on offer for childbirth (I recommend diamorphine - medical grade heroin). I didn't get so much as a paracetamol when I had my coil fitted.

PaperdollCartoon · 29/10/2016 18:58

I have a Mirena coil but had a local anaesthetic on my cervix when it was fitted, weren't you offered that? I thought all women who hadn't given birth were. Either way that wasn't that painful.

If you are extremely scared you could ask for a section, or you might find at the time you'll be ok, the thought of childbirth scares me too but women have lived through it since time began and there are drugs now! You'll be ok x

lazymongoose · 29/10/2016 18:58

Honestly don't let the thought of the pain but you off. It can be horrendous granted but my labour was amazing contractions hurt but when I got to the pushing stage I didn't really feel anything and 10 minutes later he was here. Every labour is different, and you could always have an epidural. I would happily go through labour again, rather than pregnancy that was 9 months of pure hell Confused

BendydickCuminsnatch · 29/10/2016 19:00

Isn't a coil shoved past your (presumably closed) cervix, whereas for birth your cervix opens to make way for the baby? I literally can barely talk about cervixes so no way am I having a coil, but that's the way I always thought they worked? That's probably why it hurts.

BellesBelles · 29/10/2016 19:02

I have a high pain threshold usually but found labour pains excruciating. It felt like I was being spit in two from inside, it wasn't just "strong cramps". Forget talking through contractions, I couldn't talk at all!

Two shots of pethidine administered quickly, followed by an epidural, meant labour followed without pain. So don't worry Smile There's very effective pain relief available which means you don't have to worry about that.

MummyLikesWrapMusic · 29/10/2016 19:04

I haven't had a coil fitted, however have given birth. It was not the most painful thing I've been through (pleurisy takes that award). It's an odd pain labour - I can only describe contractions as if someone had shoved a vacuum cleaner up my chuff, and was trying to suck all my insides out Confused. The worst part was the 'ring of fire', everything else was quite manageable (thank you heated pool and G+A). If it were that awful, most people wouldn't have more than the one! Though it seems to confirm that the coil will wait for me (at least until I've had the second child we're working on).

SparklyLeprechaun · 29/10/2016 19:07

I truly can't remember the birth pain, and I was in labour for 14 hours with DS. On the other hand, I've got a habit of putting my back out twice a year and I'm terrified of the pain, it's horrible.

teacher54321 · 29/10/2016 19:07

I had an induction (with the pessary) and that was absolutely hideously painful. Made the c emergency section that followed 36 hours later seem like a walk in the park. Had a smear test last week and had a panic attack. There is no way on earth I could have a coil fitted.

Xmasbaby11 · 29/10/2016 19:07

For me childbirth was horrendously painful and an epidural after 24 hours was the only thing that relieved any pain.

Was it worth it? Yes obviously. But if there was any way to avoid that level of pain I'd take it. Imo pain relief is not good enough on NHS and I know too many women who were left for hours before getting an epidural.

Original poster
RentANDBills · 29/10/2016 19:08

Thank you for all the replies!

I think part of my concern was I was given gas and air when I dislocated my knee (which hurt less, in retrospect) and it didn't touch me at all.

My Mum had a very very traumatic birth with me too, which doesn't help.

I spent the rest of the day in bed and my very lovely DP plied me with chocolate, pop and cuddles. The poor bloke had to get me home afterwards and I was in hysterics.

OP posts:
Thissideof40 · 29/10/2016 19:08

I have a coil and it was not nice being fitted. It's a mirena though so not sure how different that is to having a copper coil fitted.

I've also had 2 children (one of which was 9lb 11oz with just gas & air). Labour isn't like a stabbing pain and you can have an epidural if you can't cope. I expected to need an epidural as I didn't think I had a high pain threshold but managed fine with gas and air. Everyone copes with pain differently and there are different types pain relief.

If you want to have a children in the future it would be a shame not to if the pain is the ONLY reason not to.

ThePinkOcelot · 29/10/2016 19:10

I've had 2 labours and honestly, hand on heart, canned remember the pain. As a pp said, cliche but true, it's well worth it.

ThePinkOcelot · 29/10/2016 19:11

Cannot obviously

Original poster
RentANDBills · 29/10/2016 19:11

I have a Mirena coil but had a local anaesthetic on my cervix when it was fitted, weren't you offered that?

Nope! Nothing. I didn't even take paracetamol beforehand.

OP posts:
CthulhuInDisguise · 29/10/2016 19:11

I know childbirth hurt like mad. I know I was scolded by my mother for swearing during my contractions. I know these things, but don't remember the pain. I knew I definitely didn't want an epidural because I'm squeamish, but when it came to it and I was allergic to the gas and air, I had the epidural at the last stage it was possible to have one and it was brilliant.

Rhythmsticks · 29/10/2016 19:12

I didn't think childbirth was that painful-it was uncomfortable a bit but not terrible. But I have a copper coil and I didn't feel anything when it was fitted-it was a but un dignified but not painful at all!