to consider not having children, just because of the pain?

[RentANDBills]

I've just had a copper coil fitted.
If this is something you are considering doing, please don't read this - I don't want to be responsible for influencing any choices

Anyway, I've just had a copper coil fitted. It was the single most painful thing that has happened to me.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but historically have a very high pain threshold so was nervous, but not too concerned.

I've read some bad things online about them, and actually think I got off lightly as the Doctor fits them day in day out (sexual health clinic) and did it really efficiently, no messing about. Though I couldn't lie still long enough for her to properly check with the ultrasound thingy as I immediately needed to go to the bathroom and basically had a panic attack

I always thought I wanted children, though not right now, but I'm really really worried that this will now mean I'm too frightened to do so, when the time is right.

I honestly can't imagine how it could have hurt more, you could have stabbed me through the stomach and it would have made no difference.

I understand that it was a similar pain to child birth, except child birth is the same thing over and over again!

AIBU to genuinely let this influence my decision in the future?
(I realise this probably means I don't want children "enough")

I hardly felt a thing in labour, i had a small, well positioned baby and i remember actually enjoying the sensation of contractions, they had a satisfying 'fullness' to them. I actually turned to the midwife and said 'why is this not hurting?!'

Period cramps.on the other hand, are excruciating for me, and i still get them every month.

I pushed out my second baby with no pain relief at all (go me!!!). But having a coil fitted - no, nuh-huh, no way - huge respect to you. Oh, and I'm petrified of the dentist.

Gas and air did nothing for me either, OP.

I told them to unplug it actually, as they kept forgetting and offering it to me.

No matter, the epidurals were bliss.

Becoming a parent is so much more than just the birth anyway because your whole life shifts. Added to this is the fact that everyone deals with childbirth differently - what is deemed painful and arduous to some may not be such a big deal to others. That said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging it may not be for you - it's far better to be honest to yourself.

I have had two hard long births with very little pain relief, and they pailed into insignificance by the pain of a major burn to the palm of my hand a few years ago.

Epidural all the way! Honestly. It's still not pleasant, but you don't feel any pain. I was someone who worried about childbirth too.

Don't really think you can compare pain. In my first labour, the worst pain was not when dd got stuck for an hour with half her head out; it was when the midwife felt my cervix beforehand. But neither was anywhere near as bad as having pleurisy: that actually had me whimpering with pain for two solid hours. The beauty of childbirth is there is an array of pain relief which you can discuss beforehand - and change your mind about during labour. Plus what others have said about adrenalin and "doing" pain.

I also found having a coil put in HORRIFIC. I have also had a horrible birth (well two horrible births really, but one more horrible). They are different though. In birth you are supported, have drugs, adrenaline and are excited about having a baby. Personally giving birth was not a positive experience for me, but I still did it again for a second child without too much thought.

I would't let it put you off having a baby if you really want one. It might be worth considering that your fear of birth could be a factor in conception though.

I think given you had a panic attack if you do get pregnant and feel anxious you should pursue counselling. I had counselling after my traumatic birth and it helped immensely and gave me some perspective.

Please do not let your experience let it put you off having children. I've never had a coil fitted so I can't comment but my sister has had several and has never had a problem, yet I know someone else who found it agonizing. I had a procedure called a HSG where they inject die into your fallopian tubes and I was fine, but others have said it was the worst pain ever. Everyone is different. Childbirth is painful to different degrees, but if it was that terrible noone would ever have children! Everyone's experience of childbirth is different and just because you had a bad experience with a coil does not in any way suggest you will have a difficult experience with childbirth. From my own experience, I had a painful labour, about 23 hours, but my baby was much bigger than average and was in the wrong position, so I ended up having a c section. Although very painful, I would definitely go through it again to have another child. That's the thing about childbirth, it is totally worth it for what you get at the end. Also, don't forget there is pain relief and if things are that terrible you can always have an epidural!

If its a choice of the period pains of August 1999 or DS2's labour pains, I'll go for the labour. He was in back to back which is a difficult position, but I found that because the contractions grew steadily over a few hours, I could adjust to them and breathe with them using self hypnosis techniques. There was also gas and air. I can't vouch for crowning as by that stage I'd had a spinal block and was in theatre for CS/ forceps as both babies were in awkward positions.

The tear was painful. SPD was painful. A perforated eardrum was painful. They were all much sharper forms of pain. The SPD was worst as it went on for months and pregnancy limited pain relief.

There are ways of managing birth fears. I had issues concerning interventions and monitoring following DS1s birth, but it was made manageable with a specialist MW. There are elective CSs which offer much more controlled conditions of birth.

I found that by 39 weeks pregnant, I just wanted to get it over and done with. I swear that the primary function of the final month of pregnancy is to make you actually want to give birth

Epidurals don't always work. I think this is useful to know as one of my friend's was really shocked when it didn't work for her second baby. Another friend had an epidural that only worked on one side of her body.

I think in most cases they do work though. When I had mine, it worked fine for a couple of hours then I started feeling pain high up in my abdomen, so they just adjusted the pain relief and I was fine.

Just read your post and haven't read replies yet but wanted to tell you that I too had a copper coil fitted pre children and had the same fears. But it was a sudden sharp pain with little warning and no build up. I actually fainted!

Having babies is completely different. It builds, it waxes and wains, it's mostly, for most people, controllable and copeable with and, most of all you become a mother.

I'll never forget visiting my DIL after her long difficult labour with my DGS and she said about 40 mins after birth "it's doable it wouldn't put me off doing it again" nature is very clever.

Given a choice I'd honestly rather give birth than have a copper coil fitted (pre children) or many other things.

Well I'll say this.

The pain is indescribably horrendous.

1 year later I remember the fact and the words that it was "horrendous" but in all honestly i cannot relive or remember any of the pain.

I do have an awesome one year old son though :)

I had 2 coils fitted pre-baby, two natural births and 2 coils fitted post baby.

In order of intensity of pain it went:

Coil fitting pre baby
Birth (no pain relief at all)
Birth (induced, epidural, wearing off when it came to push)
Coil fitting post baby.

The pain from a closed cervix coil insertion is extremely intense and a completely different pain to labour, which builds up, radiates, and then recedes. It's nothing like as stabby and deep, and you get recovery time between each contraction to catch your breath and work up to the next contraction. And you get a baby at the end!

I've had a copper coil and two births with only gas and air.

I remember the pain of the coil like it was yesterday. Things just aren't meant to go That Way into your cervix. Whereas your body is designed to give birth and even releases pain relieving hormones.

Contractions were certainly intense and I was scared the first time and did have pain, but can't really remember it. Second time I can genuinely say childbirth didn't hurt. I actually enjoyed it, was smiling and laughing for quite a lot of labour. It was still very intense but in a good way. The difference was I understood what my body was trying to do, I had a totally different mindset and I'd read some amazing books/done pregnancy yoga to prepare.

I'd do labour again in a heartbeat tbh - just don't fancy the pregnancy and more sleepless nights bit!

All these things people are saying

Not unbearable
Pain with a purpose
Piercings are worse
Not acutely painful
The thought of the baby spurs you on

None of these things resonate with me! I had a fairly textbook waterbirth with DC1, the kind of birth people seem to dream of, and I found it the most painful, not to mention mentally and physically traumatic event of my life. At the peak of the contractions I thought my head would just explode with the pain.

Thank god I ended up tearing badly and could justifiably beg for a section with DC2. That was a walk in the park.

So, OP, don't let fear of pain put you off, because there are plenty of options open to you that don't involve immense suffering.

Yes they do mostly work but sometimes there is no anaesthetist or there isn't time or it doesn't work. It's just worth considering other pain relief and coping strategies and not assuming something will definitely be available to take the pain away.

I was so scared of childbirth when I was pregnant that I cried. After 9 months of it I was so sick of being pregnant that I was ready to face labour. I would have done it again if my babies weren't such terrible sleepers.

I chose sections because of the fear of this, I just know I wouldn't cope with any pain down there. I do have a high pain threshold with other stuff and recovered from my section fine. Don't let the fear stop you having children.

I haven't had a coil but hate the idea. Childbirth varies so much from woman to woman so there's really no way of knowing! Gas and air didn't touch the pain for me (long induction and big baby) and my epidural failed but the spinal block before EMCS was bloody amazing and sorted me right out! I have my son and it was worth it, plus I still want another baby despite everything. I don't think anything could convice me to ever have a coil though!

Go for an epidural and pethidine. Or just pethidine. You'll sleep through most of it and only be awake for the ring of fire - which is different for everyone.

Yanbu at all to be worried about it though.

YANBU. It doesn't matter why you don't want kids--if you don't want them, don't have them! Skipping kids shouldn't be something you have to justify; parenthood should not be a default state where you have to have society approve your reasoning before you feel okay about it.

If you do want kids but just don't want the pain of childbirth, you can talk to your doctor about options, or adopt or foster.

I have had four kids, can remember the pain, and it was bad the first time, when I had pain relief, but manageable the last three times, in a birthing pool.

I have had three coils. The pain is completely different because you have some person jabbing a device into your bits. The pain of childbirth is easier to have ownership of (if people leave you alone to get on with it) and is a more, well, positive pain, as your body is just doing what it needs to. And you get a baby and flowers and tea and toast afterwards

Actually I would prefer childbirth over a root canal, thinking about it.

I haven't had positive birth experiences and that's partly due to the gulf between my expectations; that the pain would be manageable, and the reality of pain I couldn't cope with, and inadequate or total absence of pain relief. So I think you would be well advised to raise this at your booking appointment (if you did have a baby) and push very hard to be listened to, including during the birth. I don't think it's as easy as all that to get a CS. I have also found gas and air useless. But you won't know until you're there, and it might all be absolutely fine.
Other than that, I second the points made by deathpunchdoris,