To ask if you are as socially awkward as me...

[WankingMonkey]

And for some stories?

A couple of days back I just met my cousins partner for the first time. All is going well and she says she likes my top and asks where I got it. My answer?

'Oh I have had it on for two days as I am such a scruff round the house'

She just kind of looked weirdly at me and went 'riiiiight' and walked out of the room .

Seriously wtf inspires me to say shit like that? Its not the first time and probably won't be the last either. So socially awkward. I expect I am not alone, whats your worst?

Many years ago, a colleague announced that she was expecting. My response was 'congratulations, was it planned?'
Like what the actual fk.

This reminds me of my totally appropriate response to being told my 19 year old sister was pregnant. In my slight defense, we hadn't spoken for ages and were a bit awkward with each other to start with but my mum told her she should tell me in person instead of letting me find out on facebook. So a few mins of forced chat...then she says 'I am pregnant'

'Enjoy labour'

OP - just going back to your original post, there is nothing wrong with what you said to your cousin's partner, if anything she sounds like the one with crap social skills for responding like that and walking off. Who made her Queen of the World anyway? You are being really harsh on yourself, and you actually sound lovely.

I have been there many times, feeling like a social moron, always blabbering out the stupidest of things. I still do. And sometimes I come away from a conversation cringing and wondering if the other person thinks I'm an idiot - but actually, you know what, at times I have to step back and say to myself "I am a nice person, I am friendly, I mean well, and if they can't see that then stuff them". Nobody is perfect. And if somebody ever makes you feel socially inferior just remember that they too have flaws.

I dunno..I guess I think I should have just told her where i got the top like she asked. Maybe I am being harsh on myself, but it really struck me as a hides in a broom cupboard for life moment rather than her being rude

ilost not only did I make up a nephew I disowned a son!!

I thought of another one before... So I went for a bikini wax, first time in years and whilst laying down the lady starts making conversation about what I was up to.

Rather than just say nothing much I made up an elaborate story about how dp was whisking me off somewhere for my birthday, hence the bikini wax... because obviously only people going on holiday get 1 done. So it went on and on about where the surprise destination could be and I was glad when it was all over. I went home and vowed never to go back to the salon again.

A few days later sitting in the inlaws didnt sil only bring her new friend around - the girl out the salon. Ive never left a place so quickly, and sil hates me anyway so i'm sure the 2 of them have had nights of laughing over my weirdness!

These are brilliant, if anyone said any of these to me I would laugh and want to be their best friend !

Round to see parish priest to get DS's school forms signed. Tea and biscuits produced by v kind host.

Priest: 'How do you like your tea?'
Me: 'Pale and weak. Like my men.'

What the actual?!?!?!?!

😂😂😂😂😂

Place marking. This is making my night yes I am that sad

Weeping at this thread

Just wondering whether to try the fourth Bee Gee or Sexy times at my gynae appointment next week

Consultant already thinks I am some kind of bonkers exhibitionist anyway because last time I went I started getting undressed behind the curtain but unaware that unless the curtain was pulled fully round, anyone passing outside the window could see me. When he pointed this out and suggested pulling the curtain further, I just tittered "oh it's no problem I'm sure they have seen a half naked woman before"

It doesn't help that I fancy him

he's not here... as if he'd just nipped out to the offy... ...sorry, still laughing...

My social awkwardness today was described as 'my slightly eccentric quirk'
My colleagues all found it hilarious, I was mortified as it makes me so insecure!
They all thought it was so funny that I always say the wrong thing and put my foot in it.

Chatting to an acquaintance while both out walking our dogs. She was pregnant and the conversation turned to baby names. We had discussed her choices if it was a boy, so I followed up with 'and if it's a bitch?'😯

The time I handed over a parcel at a Collect+ place and, meaning to say "lovely! thank you!" when handed the receipt, I said "Thanks! Love you!"

When I turned 17, my friends in uni gave me a surprise party. My absolute terror, but they didn't know that.

Basically, I was made to stand in front of a circle of friends and they gave me messages.

One friend said, "happy birthday"!

I replied, "Thanks, happy birthday too!"

Woodenmouse, you've just reminded me of that last time I went along with someone else's mistake. I went to another team to get some info. The lady there is always very friendly such that I sometimes wonder when she will stop talking but she's nice. So we have therefore spent some time together but without her actually getting to know me.

A little while back I popped in for something and she said "so, big weekend planned?". I figured this was fairly standard, generic conversational matter and didn't really want to get into talking about my weekend plans so just said "oh yeah!". She went on as if she knew my plans, that I had people coming down, etc., and I just kept agreeing with enthusiastic sounds, then she asked if my same sex partner was looking forward to it. I felt like an idiot at this point as I realised that she'd had me confused with someone else and since I went along with it up to this point I thought I now looked like I was faking being gay. I can't recall how it ended, I think I died for a bit.

I constantly cringe at what comes out of my mouth. So nice to know I'm not alone!

Recently I had a coil put in, then had to take one of my daughters (age 5) to the doctors two weeks later. It was the same doctor, so I started chatting away. The doc said "I'm sorry, have I seen you before?" And I replied with "Yes! But don't worry, you weren't looking at my face last time!" She didn't my even blink, just stared at me open mouthed. I struggled to continue when a small voice next to me said "where was she looking, mummy?". I could cry just thinking about it.

Not my faux pas but my ex's, we were only late teens and decided to go away for a dirty weekend in Newquay, it was the days before the Internet and we found a place on Ceefax and booked up, when we arrived it was a really swanky hotel and we both felt a bit overwhelmed but somehow both adopted a fake posh accent and totally different personalities when we walked through the door as if somehow we could appear to fit in with all the middle aged wealthy folk around us.
The lady on reception handed my boyfriend a form which he started fill out whilst reading aloud every question and reply, "Name? Patrick, Address? (insert address), Arrived on?....train"

Or the time when expexting DS, was having a bleed (one of many it turned out ok in the end) went to hosp, young doc stirruped me up then went to get a more senior without covering me up. Senior walks in and the first sight he sees is me legs akimbo winking at him not with my eyes "Um hello, um pleased to meet you - not something you see every day I bet. I'd get up but I'm a bit strapped at the moment.

I'm in a hospital for women with either pregnancy, birth or gynae issues. He may have seen it all before.

Had to call the IT guy at work recently and was about to say "perhaps.... " then for no reason suddenly changed to "maybe..." Except what came out was "baby..."
I was cringing so much he must have heard it,whilst carrying on with the call as if it never happened....

I always find it really hard to join in at appropriate moments in group conversations. I end up interrupting people or not getting a chance to speak. Yesterday I got really frustrated with it and just stood with a group of colleagues with my hand up.

I told a room full of mums at baby group, in a loud clear voice, that I lived in North Cunt.

I meant to say Kent. Nobody laughed except me, they just looked aghast. I had to leave the room and scream silently into a wall.