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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed with teacher's insistence

202 replies

coffeeoverthekids · 27/10/2016 00:16

My son is five and has gone into year one this year.

They have started writing letters to pen pals at another school that the part time teacher has an affiliation with. She is semi retired but does a few mornings/afternoons at each school.

DS hadn't finished his pen pal letter and she sent it home with him attached with the note 'Will be perfect for X to finish in bed, need for tomorrow as am taking the letters for the children'.

I read it and it really annoyed me. That day he had his usual reading book and some maths homework, already an hour of work. AIBU to think that that is more than enough and if a five year old doesn't 'finish his letter' (she had made him rub out his name because he finished mid sentence).

OP posts:
llangennith · 28/10/2016 18:38

Primary school children shouldn't have or need homework if teachers are doing their job properlyAngry

frenchbluepuffin · 28/10/2016 18:49

I am a trained teacher, but no longer teach in the UK. An hour seems a crazy amount for a 5 yr old. Interestingly dc are now being educated in French school and whilst hw is on the heavy side in secondary school, there is none at all until age 6 and then it is absolute minimum.

MrsC45 · 28/10/2016 19:08

My son is 10, gets never gets more than 5 to 10 minutes worth of homework. This lack of extra work at home hasn't led to any issues, and he's just passed his grammar school entrance exam. I wouldn't make a 5 year old do all that , I'd just send the homework back partially finished (or only do the letter depending on how long that takes), and I'd have a word with the teacher. Good luck!

pennycann1 · 28/10/2016 19:21

YARBU I agree that teachers expect too much, My child is in year 2, I read with my son every night and we have maths homework each week and at least 4 projects a half term, plus spellings etc. We had the same in year one minus the maths- they are still so young and need to relax at home.

pennycann1 · 28/10/2016 19:22

I really can't spell YANBU

WithTwoGiantBoys · 28/10/2016 19:35

Ds2 is dyslexic. Of course we didn't know that during ks1 when teachers assumed he was lazy or had a bad attitude. When, because of thinking I had to get him to do the homework set or be viewed as an unsupportive parent, a "ten minute task" would take well over an hour and end with us both in tears of frustration. Eventually thanks to pressure at school (and probably me trying to get him to do homework) he lost all confidence and stopped writing altogether.

Dyslexia is almost never recognised by 5 years old.

DeathpunchDoris · 28/10/2016 19:57

Really?

WithTwoGiantBoys · 28/10/2016 20:03

Was that for me? Yes really.
At our school they don't even send them for assessment until they've fallen miles behind in yr 3.

MrsC45 · 28/10/2016 21:01

Wirhtwogiantboys - that's awful. I can remember getting all my maths questions wrong until a student on some sort of secondment realised I was just getting the questions jumbled up, she gave me a ruler to read the questions with and I was in top set soon after that! I was also a bit deaf and a certain teacher would always just tell me off if I asked her to repeat something. I sometimes think some of those teachers just weren't human!

The above said my son's been very lucky with the teachers he's had, they've all been competant, caring and approachable (unlike some time of the other teachers at the school who my friends' children had the misfortune of getting.)

And re 10 minute tasks, one of my friend's son spent 7 hours on such task, basically ruining the weekend with tears of frustration for the whole family. The teacher was horrified and suggested that he just spent the amount of time the task should take in future and leave the homework incomplete, a very sensible solution in my view for primary school age. (That child did need some help and he got it).

I'd never let a 5 year old spend an hour or more on routine homework, that's just bonkers!

sherbertshelly · 29/10/2016 03:33

5 & that much to do!! Geeez my LG is 5 & couldn't sit still long enough to write a letter, she'd lose interest. Is a school for genius kids?! My LG gets a reading book every day & it's changed when she's read it & homework once a week with 4 days to complete or as close as we can get. If this woman's pushing for a letter get your LO to finish the sentence & write his name or TBH I'd tell her she can roll it & stick it up her arse then complain to the head saying it's too much for any 5 YO. Stand your ground, I'm sure other parents in the class have had issues with it too

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/10/2016 05:58

MrsC45

How old was the child, who took 7 hours to do the homework? Why did the parents feel the need to push the child that far? As I've said upthread, I don't have fights over homework with dd and she sometimes didn't do it when she was younger. Genuine question as I don't understand how come parents would do this or that a school would want them to do this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/10/2016 06:05

Trifle. MrsC45's story about the boy taking 7 hours to do a task is the point I was making. And why I didn't understand the veiled threats despite my stating very clearly that dd always does her homework now.

Purplealienpuke · 29/10/2016 09:07

My dgd is 5 1/2, just in primary 2.
She gets shed loads on homework. She isn't equipped to do the amount set out. The teacher has said 'do what you can '. I see no merit in piling on homework after a full day at school, especially at such a young age 🙁
Is a pen letter more beneficial than maths? Do any parents expect their 5 yr old to write in their beds???
Not sure about you but dgd would NOT be allowed pens/pencils in her bedroom! !

MrsC45 · 29/10/2016 09:07

Hi, re the 7 hour saga this was with a quite young child and a lot of the 7 hours was taken up by the resistance of the child, I can't do it and so I won't try. It would have been a ten minute task for some children.

It was a one off and certainly there was a discussion with the teacher on Monday morning. They are not pushy parents, they are really lovely (as is their child)!

GraceGrape · 29/10/2016 09:41

Primary school children shouldn't have or need homework if teachers are doing their job properly
That's extremely unfair. Me, and most of the other primary school teachers I know, would love not to set homework. Unfortunately, we are made to do it. There has been a policy of homework for KS1 and 2 children in every school I've worked in. Complain to the government or Ofsted if you don't think children should have homework. However, for every time I've had a parent tell me they think their child gets too much homework, there'll be another who says they don't get enough. We can't win.

Carriecakes80 · 29/10/2016 10:19

I never agreed with homework for kids, they work at school, they play at home...time enough for crappy boring work when they're older! Hence why I teach them all at home! My kids love to read, to cook, to sew, but I want them to enjoy the little bit of childhood they have, not spend it worrying about doing more of what they've been doing all day! xxx

LindyHemming · 29/10/2016 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveNoSocks · 29/10/2016 11:15

Wow that's insane. NO way would I make a 5 year old do an hour of homework. They're probably way too tired to do much after a full day of school and when are they going to have time to do child initiated stuff (lego, flick through a book they've chosen themselves, play with a doll house or whatever). Most countries haven't even started formal education at 5, I hate how in the UK at 5 we're already anxious about kids being able to read, write and do maths. Terrible for their long term development and their enthusiasm for education. OK Rant over.

cheval · 29/10/2016 14:49

Homework at five is ridiculous. Reading with child is important and a lovely thing to do. Maths should be taught through play at that age not by setting an hour's homework.

user1470269632 · 29/10/2016 15:37

Maybe if she works part time she wasn't aware that your child had been set that homework too?
As a parent and ex teacher, I'd send in a letter explaining that your child had done an hour of homework and was quite frankly, exhausted. As a teacher, personally, I'd fully understand (with all grades of students) and ask the child to complete it at some other point in the day. Not at break/Lunchtime though. Definitely not as that would be viewed as a punishment and unfair if the child had done an hour the night before doing his maths and English.

DanyellasDonkey · 29/10/2016 15:42

Hmm at a 5 year old being expected to write a letter!

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 29/10/2016 15:55

I HATE it! I am a primary school teacher and DS1 (8, Y3) has reading every night, a piece of homework per week and this horrific project (early settlers) where we have to do a piece per week and then hand in later in the term. He is bright but hates doing it. Each piece has taken two hours and that's with my help. It's homework for the parents, not the children. That's time he should have been spending playing or relaxing. The reading is a given (although I resent the logging of absolutely everything he's reading and the written analytical comment required Hmm) but the rest is a drain on us all and a horrible battle I have to fight every week. But as a teacher I don't want to be seen as working against the school and for DS to pick up on that.

As a teacher, I also hate it. It's a pain to sort out and photocopy, more to mark and it tells me nothing about what the children are capable of as you don't know how much help has been given. The answer is OFSTED. They require schools to issue homework so we have to do it, whether we like it or not. NOT! AngryAngry

DanyellasDonkey · 29/10/2016 16:19

We actually had one parent who said that he didn't want his children to do homework and the head was told they are within their right to do this.

We have drastically reduced the amount of homework we give as parents were complaining that there was too much and teachers found it a chore to set and mark, in addition to everything else they had to do.

Thetruthfairy · 29/10/2016 22:30

Trifleorbust... 'Opportunities for him to consolidate his understanding at home' ha! He is in Year 1. Writing a letter would be new learning not consolidation, requiring a great deal of guidence from the teacher or parent.

coolaschmoola · 30/10/2016 08:43

Minaktinga - I'm guessing that you aren't aware that practice and practise are two different words, with different meanings...

Practice - noun. 'I went to the doctor's PRACTICE.'

Practise - verb. 'Little Minak must PRACTISE her writing.'

The teacher did it again because she was right. I'd put the 'homework bets' back on - for yourself!

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