Neglect or just crap parenting?

[selly24]

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular thing...am increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

That's really bad. I feel guilty popping out to my car parked down St to carry shopping incase anything happens.

Under 5s are fairly clearly 'at risk' if left alone/unsupervised.

5-7 year olds are more of a grey area - depending on where they are left, how capable they are, how long it is for etc

By 8 I would imagine most children, without additional needs, would be fine to stay home for short periods?

That doesn't sound right.

Though there is a bit of a blurred line around gardens/ garages type places.

Here's ones I'm not sure about, so don't do but feel perhaps I'm being over-zealous? Going down a corridor to the lobby of the flats? It's a very nice and safe block of flats with porter and sometimes DS (6yrs) takes a lot of persuasion to come with me for a 2 min errand? He'd love me to say he could stay at home!

I wouldn't make my 6 year old come with me to walk down a corridor in the same building.

Absolutely terrible parenting and borderline neglect, although I would say it depends on other treatment of the child.

Attitudes have changed though. My dad started primary school a year earlier (3 nearly 4) in the 1950s and walked over a mile over main roads on his own (luckily not as many cars obviously). His parents had moved house while he was at school and not told him and he returned to someone else In his old house! He had to go to the local butcher to ask where his mum and dad were
I'll never forget this as long as I live. It's definitely true as my DF brought it up in front of my GM once and she just said something like 'yes...alright'.

Here there isn't a law that says you can't leave a child home alone prior to any specific age; it's left up to the parents' common sense.

That said, I wouldn't have left my kids home alone at that age. I think the first time I left my boys home alone, the oldest was about 9, and the youngest was 7, and it was during about a 20-minute gap from the time I needed to leave for an appointment and my husband was expected home from work.

I think it is fine to leave a child home alone starting the age of 9-10. They don't always want to be dragged out of the house for a pint of milk to the corner shop. It also depends on their general attitude, how sensible they are and how much they can be trusted. DD (9) would probably say she's fine and then call me 2 min later in tears. We will start to encourage more independence soon as she's heading towards secondary school and I will expect her to let herself in after school for about 30 min in her own.

borderline neglect? hahahaha!!!!!

My grandmother's sister (back in the 60s) left her toddler son napping in her house and went next door to visit a neighbor. While she was gone, the house caught fire.

The hyper awareness of potential risk on mumsnet never ceases to amaze me. Some people must live their lives in a state of perpetual anxiety. It must be exhausting.

I work with children and families. If a parent I was working with disclosed to me that they did this I would be obligated to make a referral to Children's Services under the category of neglect.

It doesn't matter if it's "only 15 minutes". That's plenty of time for a five year old to have a serious accident, wander out of the house or let someone in. People will say "yes but I know my child and they wouldn't do that" but that's nonsense. You don't know for sure. You can't possibly know what is going on or what will go on in the mind of a small child. Five year olds do random things, they can be unpredictable, even five year olds who seem sensible.

A 9 year old and a 5 year old are two very different kettles of fish. At 9 a child isn't far off secondary, whereas as 5 they are barely out of nursery. I haven't met many 5 year olds I would be happy to leave alone (out of hearing, visual or physical range) for more than a couple of minutes.

The thing is the risks may be small but the outcome is so awful that why would you bother risking it? Your child gets distressed, wanders the streets, gets run over, SS get called, all the way to kidnap, fire etc.

How many of you that would leave a 5 year old alone for 5 mins would leave your purse on your doorstep for that long?

Yes I would report this too. In fact your greatest risk for those who leave 5 yr olds alone is that they, like the child in the OP, mention it to someone!

Feeling extremely glad that Betty is nowhere near my children. Like people say, they would be obligated to make a referral for neglect. A 5 year old doesn't understand the danger of an iron, a hot oven, dogs, strangers at the door etc. Personally I think it would depend on other circumstances, like I said in my original post, but you carry on making yourself feel better about your poor parenting/neglect of your child by laughing at my post if you wish

I have children aged between 2 and 12, with a very sensible 12 year old. We recently ran out of electric, at 8pm, and it was dark. We live five minutes walk from the co-op.

I bundled us all in the car, drove the very short distance, parked outside the door and ran inside. Even that worried me and I could see them the entire time!

How many of you that would leave a 5 year old alone for 5 mins would leave your purse on your doorstep for that long?

Accidentally left my purse outside all night once this summer, was still there in the morning which just goes to show the kind of area I live in.

As a ta in a school if a 5 year old told me they had been left alone I would have to report it.

I work in education. I know of a 5 year old who was left alone for periods of time who has now been removed from his mother and is in foster care.

You need to report it anonymously and let social care figure out the details of whether it is neglect.