Neglect or just crap parenting?

[selly24]

Leaving a child age 5 alone in house while running an errand taking 15 mins.
A friend seems to do this a lot. Not witnessed directly but from what parent had said eg ' DC woke up and I was on errand so was upset with me' and from what child refers to or assumes.
Eg when babysitting -' oh, why do I need to come when you go do X? Parent always leaves me here.
Was mortified when first heard bu thought prob a one off, as parent's OH was away, but seems to be a regular thing...am increasingly concerned. Should I be.?

How do you guys sleep at night? Seriously, you're leaving your child all alone in a room for up to eight hours while you sleep - anything could happen and you wouldn't even be awake to know about it.

Enb76: Don't be soft. If my child is ill or scared or hurt in the night, I will be across the landing. If my child is ill or scared or hurt while I am 10 mins down the road, they are at risk.

5 is way too young.

zzzz I haven't inferred anything. I have however learned a fair amount on this particular subject from many years of specialist child protection training, direct work with vulnerable children and families and many, many hours spent in court, CP conferences, strategy meetings and sitting on child protection core groups. Is that sufficient?

Of course the level of supervision a child requires changes as they get older, unless that child has additional needs. And yes I appreciate that an older primary school aged child might represent something of a grey area (in which case it would be up to SS to look at the situation, gather information and make an informed decision) but we are talking about a very young child here.

This ridiculous shit excuse 'well they are better off at home if you are to get run over'
Do we apply that to babies too? And as for saying a child would prefer to watch tv then accompany you to the shop well the mind well and truly boggles.

My kids would much rather sit and watch tv than brush their teeth- so I don't make them

My kids would much rather stay and watch tv than go to school so they don't go.

My kids would much rather sit up watching tv than go to bed so that's what they do.

If you collapse in the street and you have a 5 year old with you, emergency services will at the very least call social services, who will be able to track down a relative or place your child in a safe place.

If you are unconscious in hospital for the foreseeable future and no-one knows your 5 year old is at home, they're seriously at risk.

Basic common sense. I am the least judgemental person ever when it comes to parenting but this is just not acceptable.

5 is way too young to be left at home. The minimum age should be when they can confidently use a phone and have a friend or relative within easy contact if, for some reason, you don't come home.

Wouldn't even leave my 8year old and she is as sensible as they come.

Shit parenting and neglect to leave a 5yr old alone. Especially on a regular basis.

I find these threads scarey. Some of you work with children and would be obliged to report.
God save us. From the likes of you.

Someone mentioned previous generations when things were different. Yes, when your neighbour didn't report you, because they weren't over-anxious or neurotic and were capable of doing a common sense risk assessment.

Some posters said I can't leave them for minutes. What? Seriously? Not even to go and have a shit?
I always did. I potter around the house, into the garden, off to the garages, which are separate from our house. Even when they were young, they were glued to Xbox/tablet/tv and don't even notice that I'm there.

A lot of you sound completely anxious. I fear you are also transferring that onto your children .

How did we ever get to this? That mothers these days were unable to leave their children? For 2 minutes, one poster stated?
God give us strength. We, as a generation have gone quite badly 'parenting' astray here.

If my child is ill or scared, I'd probably be back in 5-7 minutes. Actually, if my child was ill I probably wouldn't have gone in the first place. How long does it take you to wake up? Yes, the argument is a little reductio ad absurdum but very little can happen to a sensible 5 year old, who knows where you are and how long you'll be away, in 15 minutes. I am absolutely safe in the knowledge that she was vanishingly unlikely to randomly decide to go outside, answer the door to strangers, turn on the cooker - she was five, capable of rational thought and not some wild, feral unpredictable creature. I absolutely don't think that every child can be left at five but some, including mine, can be.

In my opinion, the sense that something is going to go wrong as soon as you turn your back is not healthy.

Are you teachers? TA's? HCP's? SW's?

zzzz - my most recent safeguarding training looked specifically at scenarios like this - 3 year old left home alone in bed while mum went out in the evening, 5 and 7 year olds letting themselves in and waiting for half an hour after school - and yes it comes down to a judgement call. But practitioners will always err on the side of caution, because if they get it wrong (eg. Daniel Pelka) then look what happens. In those situations a teacher or nursery nurse needs to share the burden of making that judgement by referring it on.

zzzzz

The official line is

^The law doesn’t say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, eg at home or in a car.^

Enb76: Or, in the worst case scenario, you're back in 14 minutes and you find your child - God forbid - seriously injured or worse, because something happened outside your child's control right after you left the house. She picked up a glass for a drink and dropped it, it smashed and she cut herself badly. She tripped on the edge of a rug and has a serious head injury. She fell down the stairs. She knocked over a heavy object and broke her foot. Whatever. Your 'logic' that you will 'probably' be back in 7 minute leaves a great deal to chance. I for one believe it is neglectful.

It would depend on the circumstances zzzzz.

5 year olds might be very sensible 90% of the time. But, you know...they're 5 which means they can be damned random, too.

They could have a moment of whimsy with awful consequences.

"WTF would your 5 year old do, if you were unavoidably delayed whilst 'nipping out'? You could be knocked over crossing the road...be injured by a car mounting the pavement...mugged...heart attack...aneurysm... stroke...the list goes on."

What would your child do if you had a heart attack or aneurysm while in the house?

5 is way too young to leave a child alone. At that age, they don't have the common sense to avoid danger. Eg, lighting matches, putting on the oven etc. No errand is so important that it's worth the risk.

We were burgled in broad daylight, mid afternoon a year or so ago. They smashed the French doors to get in and were in and out in 5 minutes (neighbours cctv caught them)

I dread to think what might have happened had i left my 9 year old home alone watching a DVD in her room. And believe me I was tempted when she didn't want to come. Had it not been the school holidays and I wanted her to get some fresh air she probably would have been home. After all it was a 5 minute trip and what could possibly happen right?

enb actually a 5 year old's ability to 'rationalise' isn't that great. Neither can they really apply logic at that age. Those parts of the cognitive process just hasn't developed properly at 5.

In a similar vein children can't accurately judge speed/distance until they're about 9/10.