AIBU to think regifting is actually just plain cruel and heartless, let alone tight-wadding?

[dogsdieinhotcars]

I mean, if someone has bought you a gift, and you rewrap it for someone else...how bloody rude and tight-fisted! I'm all for recycling, up cycling and all that shit, but honestly, how is this not just f***g rude?!

"A work colleague once gave us all key rings of her children!"

Noooo...omg I am cringing for her. Like you say...why? Who did she think wanted a keyring with her kids on it? A daily reminder of their wonderfulness...wtf?!

I think it is insensitive, frankly. If someone has bought you a gift and bought the wrapping paper and the gift tag and posted it or delivered it, the very least you can do is be appreciative

You can be very appreciative of them giving you a gift, and still re gift. The two are not mutually exclusive.

yeah, the keyring thing is weird. now that would be great to regift

It's a horrible attitude.

There was a woman in Boots last week ordering 6 jigsaws of her children as gifts for relatives. She was very excited- best part of £100. Honestly who would want to do a jigsaw of someone else (or even their own) children.

I regift loads of things - often books because I already have them, or perfume. What's the point in rebuying a book I already had to give to someone else? My DH bought me some perfume I didn't want but it cost about £50 - too much for a charity shop, sorry!

I re-gift. I have 2 lovely friends, who unfortunately are shocking at buying presents. I have tried hinting or saying Ds would love Y or X, but he still gets bought stuff he has no interest in. Science experiment sets and one of those battery hamster things.

My nephew loves all that kind of stuff, so better for him to have them than them go in the bin

Well of people would get over themselves and give the money or vouchers that were originally suggested none of this would be an issue would it

When you go out of your way to prove a point by buying something you have no idea if they want or need just because you disapprove of any kind of nudge in the right direction you have to learn to deal with the fact it's probably going to be re gifted.

Once it's theirs it's theirs. You have no claim over it

My DH bought me some perfume I didn't want but it cost about £50 - too much for a charity shop, sorry!

So you didnt want it but it was an ok gift for someone else?

Couldn't he have taken it back and got you something that you did want?

Or sell it on ebay where someone who does want it will make in informed choice to buy it?

And train your husband better

Whoops - oh dear.
"Oh...it's a jigsaw of your children...how lovely!" Aaahhahaha!

Whoops - I was going to buy a friend some perfume anyway so it didn't make any sense to buy ANOTHER bottle of the same perfume when I had a perfectly good (and sealed) one. I live abroad and it is not possible to take stuff back and get a refund in most shops or sell on ebay. You are right about training my husband better but unfortunately that is a work in progress!

Also it was really nice perfume - I just didn't want it because DH had already bought it for me a few months before....I know.....training not going well!

I know that I sound arsey.

I say all the time that I don't want any gifts. Most people have got the message. My children rarely give me Christmas or birthday gifts-only if they see something that they know I will love (I have an inherited collection of something that are hard to find but mostly about £10 but usually if they find one then they cant wait!) ). My DD sometimes drops in with some flowers from her garden or my favourite sweets etc.

I would just rather they all kept their money. I have no problem buying from lists, or giving cash, or letting people buy their own and repaying them. It is just as much fun and I know that they have what they want.

I still dont reallyget it. wouldnt it be even nicer to just give this stuff to people rather than squirrel it away til their birthday and pass it off as a present? that way they would get two nice things, one chosen by you so with personal meaning, and one 'just because' at a random time of year, not passed off as having been bought by you?

Lordy I LOVE regifting!
I have a wonderful friend who is much less financially challenged than me - every Christmas she makes up a hamper of regifted stuff that she doesn't need/want for me. It's bloody awesome! It's stuff like posh smellies, fancy kitchen things, Prosecco I love it, and she gets rid of stuff she doesn't want! I don't care that she hasn't spent actual money - she knows I'll like this, so that's what matters!

I agree about the generic gift drawer. I have been guilty of seeing 'bargains' in the sale and buying them, without a specific recipient in mind. They go in the present drawer and then when it comes round the Christmas or birthdays, the first port of call is to look in the drawer and because you have spent money on those gifts, you want to give them away, not quite regardless of whether the recipient would like them, but perhaps with less thought than if you were going out and buying. The same is true if the gift is in the present drawer because someone else gave it to you.

I've found I've been carried away with a bargain and bought several of the same thing, which has then languished in the drawer....not such a bargain after all! Rule is now to only buy bargains or keep items for regifting if I have a very specific person in mind for that gift, who would really like it. Otherwise don't buy or don't keep for regifting, however hard it is to resist the temptation.

Problem is, we are ruled by consumerism and the need to do the right thing and hand out gifts so people get a minute of frantic opening of said gift at Christmas. Mostly, can't afford this. We don't do wider xmas gifts (think adults, not kids) anymore as it was costing a fortune and we couldn't afford it. Most people don't need anything.

The shops accommodate this by selling pointless tat which people buy to fulfil a need to give a gift, so we are just recycling all this stuff. A good thing, I guess.

One year we just agreed to buy a significant ie pricier gift for one family member - no frantic shopping and people got things they actually liked and wanted.

Anyway, I digress, while we still support this consumerism regifting will continue and it will do the shops out of some of their OTT profits!

It is mean. I know someone who puts gifts she's not bothered about in box for when it's someone's birthday. When it was her birthday I brought something nice and that was 'her'. When it was mine it was obviously from 'the box'. Totally a generic token gift.

One year we just agreed to buy a significant ie pricier gift for one family member - no frantic shopping and people got things they actually liked and wanted.

We did that for a few years. Rather than buy for XX brothers and sisters (big family) we all spent £50 on 1 decent gift. Each person provided a list of 3-5 possible choices- very specific with web links. So no-one got a crap item.

I fear most gifts end up in the charity shop. I am incredibly fussy, so colleagues who don't know my personal taste too well have bought odd things eg a flickering fake candle: 'Thought you'd like it because when the cat walks along the surfaces, it can't set fire to stuff by knocking it over'. She has a cat, I don't. My dogs tend to stay on the floor.

Mother bought me a wooden cat looking at its own bum, huge thing. I fear the dog somehow got it. She buys me cheap plastic jewelry annually whilst on holiday: I have asked her to stop. I don't wear jewelry other than my wedding ring, not even studs. If I'm going out, I might wear the charm bracelet I had made from her charms which she never got round to putting on a bracelet. Someone will probably love this stuff-local am dram society for productions, maybe?! So it goes to charity.

Given the times I've asked her to only buy consumables (I'd love a year's supply of her green tomato chutney!) I think she's the cruel one!

It is mean. I know someone who puts gifts she's not bothered about in box for when it's someone's birthday. When it was her birthday I brought something nice and that was 'her'. When it was mine it was obviously from 'the box'. Totally a generic token gift

Yes but thats not how everyone regifts. And its bought, by the way, not brought.

And its bought, by the way, not brought.

Well it might be brought. she may have brought it in from the garden or home from work,

No-one like the grammar police

if you dont like receiving regifted presents. how do you feel about receiving charity shop bought presents?

Honestly I'd prefer no presents full stop.

Anything I might actually want or need is far to much fir me to expect anyone to buy.

And a second hand or cheaper replica is not what I want and I hate receiving that cos it does enough for me to not be able to justify getting what I really wanted bit it's not what I wanted.

I just want to see people. Spend time. With people. Use the money you'd spend on taking your family out to see a film or a trip somewhere.

I invited you not what you could buy me.

We value quantity over quality and so just churn stuff.

Yes, and

Problem is, we are ruled by consumerism and the need to do the right thing and hand out gifts so people get a minute of frantic opening of said gift at Christmas.

Yes.

I don't have a problem with re-gifting (either as giver or recipient), but I try to minimise it. If I don't know someone well enough to choose a gift for them, I choose something which I hope is somehow useful/enjoyable. A small, posh box of chocs (someone in most houses will enjoy them / they can be passed on to a food bank), or a voucher for Starbucks, Waterstones or John Lewis (easily passed on, sells a wide-ish range of things).

For children (up to 9/10) I always buy clothes, since the families I know with young DC seem to be fighting a rising tide of plastic, and I don't want to add to it.