To think well actually I couldn't do this

[couldntlovethebearmore]

Was talking to DH about how I really fancy going shopping and then having a few cocktails at a nice bar however friends are particularly flakey at the moment and he asked why can't you go alone?
I could go on the train on my own into a busy city centre. I could go round the shops on my own and even stop for a coffee/bite to eat on my own. But no way could I go to a bar on my own. And this is where I feel society is most unequal. A woman on her own in a pub is often seen by men as an easy target. And they will attempt to talk to you as being on your own in a bar means you must be looking for company.
Sorry for the rant but does anyone agree here?

"We women" Ye Gads. Don't include me in that load of tosh.

And having a pint, cocktail, glass of wine or two on one's own does not an alcoholic make. What an odd view

And perhaps those likening it to being "sad" aren't well practiced in being comfortable with just themselves. I once knew a person who simply couldn't just be in her own company.

Who mentioned wanting to get drunk mega? Are people actually reading the same thread?

I would kill for the opportunity to do this!

Nobody is talking about getting shitfaced on their own. That's ridiculous, and a massive leap.

Becuase I travel a lot for work, I've got used to having a drink, alone. I like it. A book, or laptop and a glass of wine - it's great. I've sometimes had lovely conversations with strangers, too. (You can usually tell pretty quickly if someone is being creepy. Polite people will check if you mind them talking to you, I find.) I even go to the cinema on my own, too. I just imagine I'm a famous writer with a different life - feels quite exotic really :-)

I went with DP to New York for a week, on the days he was working I worked my way round many a posh cocktail bar, perching at the bar people watching. Bloody loved it!

amelie sounds like a Po faced bint

Some of the people in this thread sound like they woke up in the 1950s! There is absolutely no issue here, of course women can go to pubs on their own, I've been doing it for thirty years! . Some of you literally need to get out more.

I've gone to the pub on my own. Book and a beer on a wintry afternoon - love it.

Are you going to give it a go OP?

I am! I have some time off work in a couple of weeks so a kid free shopping day and a cheeky cocktail is on the cards

I think you're vastly over-estimating your attractiveness and putting down all men if you think they'll all be foaming at the mouth because of a woman drinking alone.

Good for you!

Like Doris upthread, I've spent a lot of evenings alone when travelling with work and I have got used to doing things like this in my own company even when I'm not away for work.
Get a magazine/paper/book and go somewhere nice rather than a lairy binge drinking/pick up bar and nobody will bat an eyelid.

I didn't think attitudes like this still existed. Having travelled a lot with work, I wouldn't think twice about sitting on my own in a bar or restaurant.

I wouldn't enjoy it. Have no problem doing it, but it's not exactly a riot of fun, is it?

I've never had unwanted attention when going to a bar alone but I agree it can be a bit scary walking through the door, especially if it's somewhere you've never been to before.

I wouldn't enjoy it. Have no problem doing it, but it's not exactly a riot of fun, is it?

No, but what people are talking about is having a relaxing solo drink after a day's shopping, or on their way home from work, or while travelling alone, not some kerrraazy night on the tiles where all anyone can talk about for weeks is how Susan from Accounts pulled the guy with the monobrow and Gary from the mailroom fell over drunk and cracked his head on a urinal, and everyone went to A and E with him, and OMG the photos are hilairious.

I have to say I totally agree OP. Have had this same rant myself. I do just do it sometimes, but yes, if you struck up a conversation with a man at the barside, it is interpreted as an attempt to flirt, however innocuous the subject matter. Also, speaking to a woman at the barside wouldn't lead to conversation, they're either there with a partner or friends for just this reason and you can't very well infiltrate that! A guy can talk to a bunch of other guys with no problem but there's not generally the same warm fuzzies with a group of girls.
I suppose the only options are to begin a conversation with random man at bar including casual mention of your boyfriend or to take a book.

But it's not supposed to be 'fun'. That's an odd way to describe it. It's relaxing and soothing in a way a bath, or freshly washed sheets on your bed relaxes you and unwinds a few knots. Not everything in life is a riot fun and nor does it have to be.

OP - really pleased to hear you're going to give it a go!

Oh wait, just to clarify, I don't totally agree OP, I thought you meant it was hard to strike up conversation without it being seen as trying to pick up, but if you just want to go and not talk, going alone is not a hard thing.

I don't much enjoy a drink alone. I don't really drink cocktails, and am a middle aged man, so unlikely to get hit on, but just don't like drinking alone.

It's relaxing and soothing in a way a bath, or freshly washed sheets on your bed relaxes you and unwinds a few knots. Not everything in life is a riot fun and nor does it have to be

Not if other people find it fun. Not everyones idea of fun is the same.

I love a cheeky drink in a bar on my own!
With or without my book. Often for an hour or so before I'm due to meet dh when weve been away for the weekend and hes looking at boring stuff.
I've been spoken to by strangers, male and female, and usually enjoyed a chat.
Or just people watched