To think well actually I couldn't do this

[couldntlovethebearmore]

Was talking to DH about how I really fancy going shopping and then having a few cocktails at a nice bar however friends are particularly flakey at the moment and he asked why can't you go alone?
I could go on the train on my own into a busy city centre. I could go round the shops on my own and even stop for a coffee/bite to eat on my own. But no way could I go to a bar on my own. And this is where I feel society is most unequal. A woman on her own in a pub is often seen by men as an easy target. And they will attempt to talk to you as being on your own in a bar means you must be looking for company.
Sorry for the rant but does anyone agree here?

Men going to bars alone is weird anyway

I'm with Amber - some things are more enjoyable in company.

I quite often do this as a treat on a payday weekend. I don't like shopping with other people because I want to either slowly wander around and concentrate on what I'm looking at or dash in and out of certain shops to find what I actually want and escape as soon as possible (primark socks). If I do a whole day of shopping I pop in for a small wine a couple of times throughout as my feet hurt/I pass a pub/I fancy a sit down and then carry on.
I then ALWAYS reward myself with a large wine, maybe a cocktail, before getting a cab home and sitting in front of the tv stroking my new things.

I used to (and still do, to an extent) suffer badly from social anxiety so the idea of this would have terrified me but once I started doing it and realised how enjoyable it was it's a habit now. I learnt to do it through having few friends and I wouldn't like to give it up now.

Try it - the worst that will happen is you won't have fun and can then go home.

Sorry, realised I didn't acknowledge the pub issue. I drink alone (quick one after work, on way home) quite often and am very rarely approached. If I am I politely smile, say something polite but conversation ending and then walk away. I've had a lot more issues being approached by men whilst out with friends, actually. And they seem harder to shake.

Camping, going to a bar, going to the cinema - all fine alone.

I'd bloody love to go camping alone- and I'd feel a lot less vulnerable doing that

I have had a drink in a pub alone before, just take a book. I've never been approached whilst sitting in a bar alone, only whilst out with friends.

I bet 'where's your girlfriend?' Or 'if I was your girlfriend I wouldn't let you out alone' is part of their conversation

Eh?? You think men say this to each other?

Oh I'd love a day like that & one of the things I enjoy the most is quietly going somewhere lovely for a drink with a book and having some peace. Plus I hate shopping with other people. However your friends being flakey is perhaps something you need to address - can you make some new ones (not saying get rid of the old ones, just widen your circle!?).

Of course you could, if you want. If you don't do it, how do you know what would happen? You don't.

I suppose it depends what you mean by 'cocktails'. Horrid fruity thing in bar blasting out bad house music, yeah you do need company. Old-fashioned or gin martini in art deco bar, delightful on your own.

I'm going to start getting to the bar 30 mins or so before people to get away from my kids sooner enjoy a quiet martini with my kindle. Sounds bliss!

I love going out on my own. Haven't done it for ages, but I used to adore it.

A mooch around the shops, maybe a film or a show and a lovely glass of wine or icy cold martini, before or after. What's not to love?

I don't think I agree that a woman on her own is an 'easy target'. Of course, some guys will try and make conversation, but it's easy enough to shut them down politely. Certainly not annoying enough to stop going out to bars because of them.

Pint+ book = bliss!

I've been for a cocktail alone before. It wasn't at a busy time of day, my husband was faffing somewhere, and it was a lovely, lovely posh bar. I ordered my favourite, read my book, and really enjoyed it.

Should have got two, when I left and went to pay I discovered it was happy hour and the spendy treat was actually the price of pint...!

Take a book, ipad or similar. I always go out on my own on the rare occasions that I'm at a conference, a funeral that my husband and son don't know the deceased well-enough, etc. It's fine and can be really liberating. Just be a bit choosy about where you go.

I totally understand what you mean OP, and agree. A man can walk into a bar/pub, sit down and have a quiet drink, but a woman would be looked at sideways (and would probably attract unwanted attention, particularly if it was in the evening). Sad, but true.

In the same way that a man who is a regular at a local pub will be seen as being a sociable chap, but a woman is seen as probably having a drink problem.

Slightly off on a tangent, but we often go for a long walk through the forest on Sundays with the DCs, and sometimes drop in at a pub for a drink/quick bite before we walk home. Recently, DH was out and DS2 (4) asked if I would take them for a walk and to the pub. DS1 (who is 6) announced that we couldn't go, as 'pubs are a place for men'. I guess if a 6 year old, in his limited experience, notices that pubs are a man's domain, even in the daytime, it's probably true! But actually, I couldn't take them there on my own anyway - I would feel really odd without DH, and I would feel judged. But I'm sure DH would be perfectly happy and comfortable doing this on his own with the DCs.

Go for it! If you don't like it then fair enough but give it a go. Doubt anyone would even care. Think you might be over thinking it (that's not a criticism btw)

A man can walk into a bar/pub, sit down and have a quiet drink, but a woman would be looked at sideways (and would probably attract unwanted attention, particularly if it was in the evening). Sad, but true.

It's not true though.

In the same way that a man who is a regular at a local pub will be seen as being a sociable chap, but a woman is seen as probably having a drink problem.

I think you're projecting your own perceptions here, rather than reflecting anyone else's.

Recently, DH was out and DS2 (4) asked if I would take them for a walk and to the pub. DS1 (who is 6) announced that we couldn't go, as 'pubs are a place for men'. I guess if a 6 year old, in his limited experience, notices that pubs are a man's domain, even in the daytime, it's probably true! But actually, I couldn't take them there on my own anyway - I would feel really odd without DH, and I would feel judged. But I'm sure DH would be perfectly happy and comfortable doing this on his own with the DCs.

Yep, definitely projecting.. I am a lone parent. I take my children to the pub if I want to. Neither of them (one of each) has ever suggested that pubs are a place for me. And no one has ever reacted/responded negatively to me.

*A place for men.

My post sounded like I agreed with those views, so just wanted to add that I definitely don't! I have been to bars on my own (only usually waiting for someone, or as a stop-gap), and would do so again. I went on a mini-break to Edinburgh on my own once - totally liberating!

I've been camping on my own (with the dogs)! My DH and I hadn't been able to go away when we had planned, he was at work, I didn't want to buy a tent and not use it so I went away. It was great, went on some lovely dog walks and had bought those little tins of G&T for the evening. I have a camping stove so I bought some lovely food and had a nice evening or two.

I used to go to a lovely bar in the city centre and take my ipad, read the news or a book. It was lovely. I wasn't approached by anyone and there were plenty of people in different social and business settings so I didn't feel odd. Anyway, if someone saw me and thought "How odd, a woman is sitting happily enjoying herself reading and having a nice drink - What a freak" I couldn't give a tiny shit.

I sometimes do this as a treat if I'm up in central London, but I choose a nice hotel bar like Sanderson, Haymarket Hotel or Ham Yard. Nice and designer-y, and at the right time of day, nice and relaxed.....

I am an old gimmer of 49 but many moons ago, when I was a fresh young thing, I used to drink in a bar just of the Stapleton road in Bristol, an apparently rough area then, and scary area now.

When I wanted to leave, the landlord, a lovely Jamaican guy, would shout out 'Who is going to walk TJ home safe?' and someone would always offer and escort me to my door.

I suppose those times are over though. I would still happily drink alone, as I am quite able to swat flies and tell unwanted males to leave me alone.

I don't think people really judge a woman drinking alone and to be fair, if they do, they are random strangers and their opinion really does not matter! The true advantage of getting older!!

I don't see the problem, if you really do enjoy drinking on your own. I don't see the fun in it, myself, but if I did, I wouldn't have a problem doing it... Not really sure what you're so paranoid about. In my experience, you are as likely to get unwanted attention in a group of women as on your own in a bar, if not more likely. And TBH, I think men are just as likely to be looked at sideways if they're drinking alone as women - people will be wondering, regardless of the sex of the person whether or not they are a sad alcoholic, have been stood up, are hoping to pull a random stranger, fancy a chat with a stranger, or just have a penchant for drinking expensive alcohol and sitting on their own in a public place.