To think well actually I couldn't do this

[couldntlovethebearmore]

Was talking to DH about how I really fancy going shopping and then having a few cocktails at a nice bar however friends are particularly flakey at the moment and he asked why can't you go alone?
I could go on the train on my own into a busy city centre. I could go round the shops on my own and even stop for a coffee/bite to eat on my own. But no way could I go to a bar on my own. And this is where I feel society is most unequal. A woman on her own in a pub is often seen by men as an easy target. And they will attempt to talk to you as being on your own in a bar means you must be looking for company.
Sorry for the rant but does anyone agree here?

I lived alone from 18 to 25 and if anyone expected me to sit in my room all day because I didn't have a man to escort me or a friend to meet up with they were crazy.
I go out for coffe, go to the cinema, have lunch, have a glass of wine, go shopping, go to hotels for the weekend and have dinner all on my own.
I've never been hassled. I don't give a shit what people think.

I sometimes think people assume others care what they are doing when they really don't. If I see a single person eating out or in a bar it's neither unusual nor noteworthy to me.
I'd hate to live having to find a companion before I could leave the house.

Actually I've just realised I spend as much time doing things away from DH as with him. Maybe that's why we've been married 27 years

I live in a rural area and pubs truly are a 'man domain' unless you are with a group of women. I wouldn't dream of going by myself because it would be uncomfortable and I wouldn't enjoy it.

However, in cities, airport lounges, etc. I'd have no hesitation ordering a nice cocktail just for me. It really does depend on the location and the type of establishment.

sorry, wrong thread

I think it depends on which pub or bar.

Why don't you go out with your husband. I know it's not the same as with friends, and I know it entirely misses the point.

agree with others that there is too much presumption that people actually care about what others are doing. I camp, eat, drink, go on holiday etc alone and no-one has ever bothered me. occasionally people want to chat and depending on my mood I either make it clear I'm not up for chatting or I choose to enjoy an interaction with someone who might turn out to be fun company for an evening. only time I have ever been stared at was a rural local and although initially I thought it was because a woman I quickly realised it was just because I wasn't from 'round here' and an unknown bloke would have got the same response.

Its notable how many of the replies are 'its fine - take a book' or similar. Which is also what I do, and it is fine. But do lone blokes generally take something to read?

Actually, Errol, most of the men drinking alone I see are looking at their phones or reading the paper or watching the pub TV if there is one.

I wouldn't take a book to keep men away, but because it's something I like to do.

Lighthouse we can't go out together due to nobody to have the kids

Lighthouse we can't go out together due to nobody to have the kids

I've heard of this new thing....a babysitter? You know, how people go out when they have kids?

Like who smart arse? Where from?

Another blinkered person who seem to think quality trustworthy yet reasonably priced baby sitters can be conjured up out of thin air!

Don't you have any teenagers living around you? Or sitters.co.uk?

And seeing as you know zero about my family circumstances such as what needs my kids may or may not have I'd pipe down with that sarcastic tone

I don't trust random teens with my kids. This thread wasn't about going out with my DH and babysitting anyway

To be fair to user, you didn't say anywhere that your kids had specific needs that made a bog-standard babysitter the likes of which are found and used by 1000s of families up and down the country impossible.

Because it wasn't relevant to the thread in anyway

I don't trust random teens with my DD either - I just know families with teens I trust, or book a childcare professional using sitters.

Anyway, back to your question, I travel for a work a lot, and frequently sit in a bar with a book enjoying a glass of wine on my own. I'm not unattractive at all, in fact I'd say I'm very attractive, but I'm very rarely approached by men, and on the rare occasion that I have been, they have been polite and backed off immediately when I've made it clear I'm not looking for company.

I've done this often. And I've loved it. Don't worry about 'what men do'. Take a book if you want to take a book. Life's too short to deny yourself these pleasures if that's what you want.

Sitters are basically strangers and they have bog standard knowledge of childcare which may or may not be suitable for mine or other children. Plus this adds on a good forty- fifty pounds to a night out even if this was an acceptable option.
I'm not saying I am so attractive I always get approached by men. However I am one of those people others seem to gravitate towards and I end up saddled. I've never noticed it be by women in this environment is what I'm trying to say.

I'd also say it depends on what kind of bar you mean. It might look a bit odd in your average high-street bar where the main clientele are post-work drinkers. But there are plenty of other kinds of bars in big cities.

IME, nice hotel bars work really well for women on their own. Which is a little counter-intuitive. But you do need to have a book - or something else that signals "I'm fine on my own".

I am happy to go to bars/pubs alone. I mean, I'd feel a bit of a billy no mates if I went out by myself on a swinging Friday night, but quite I'm happy to while away an hour before meeting someone for dinner in a pub or something. But this is in central London, I might feel differently in my northern hometown.

All people are strangers until you get to know them! It's not hard to find people on there who work at your local nursery or school or nanny for other families you know, IME.

Our regular sitter is booked via sitters and is a well respected TA at the local school.