To think well actually I couldn't do this

[couldntlovethebearmore]

Was talking to DH about how I really fancy going shopping and then having a few cocktails at a nice bar however friends are particularly flakey at the moment and he asked why can't you go alone?
I could go on the train on my own into a busy city centre. I could go round the shops on my own and even stop for a coffee/bite to eat on my own. But no way could I go to a bar on my own. And this is where I feel society is most unequal. A woman on her own in a pub is often seen by men as an easy target. And they will attempt to talk to you as being on your own in a bar means you must be looking for company.
Sorry for the rant but does anyone agree here?

it depends on the bar/pub in my experience. sometimes I have been fine by myself drinking and reading kindle etc, other times men try to chat to you - could be friendly could be hitting on you. But if you make your position clear they usually back off.

sometimes they talk to you to be friendly and reassure you they are not hitting on you, that it's a 'safe' place to be. I've been in pubs/bars alone where though not dangerous I wouldn't hang around as a woman drinker too long - rougher ones.

I often drop into a bar/pub for a drink. My defence mechanism is usually a book, crossword or iPad, it generally works apart from the time when in Dubai I was rescued by some British expats from a drum Emirati. One of the expats within five minutes of introducing himself asked if I wanted to sleep with him :-(

^ drunk not drum

As others have said, nothing wrong with it at all. I don't do it particularly often but have been known, and don't feel self conscious. I also eat alone, have gone to cinema etc. I echo PP; once you realise how little other people give a shit about what you're up to, it's very liberating.

Coffee on my own? Hell yes.
Drink in a bar on my own? Absolutely not! Nothing to do with gender divide, and EVERYTHING to do with fact that drinking for me is a sociable thing. I don't want to have a cocktail unless I have a girlfriend with me for a chat.

Christ, I thought a glass of wine alone in a pub on a rainy day/in the middle of shopping was one of life's pleasures!

I've got no qualms at all but then I happily travel on my own, where I will eat in restaurants alone, find a little bar etc. I go to the theatre and cinema on my own too, not out of necessity as I have plenty of friends and a DP but sometimes I just like my own company.

I think it's sad that people think it's odd.

Have yet to encounter one of these 'predatory men' who are going to hassle me, a poor lone woman. I wonder where they roam?!!

Blonde how is coffee which is also a drink not a 'social' thing and cocktail is though?

Info to pubs all the time in my own and I have never experience this, yes I get talking male and females, however this has never crossed my mind.

Maybe the different feelings about it are to do with whether alcohol for each person is a social lubricator or a relaxant.

For me, its the latter. So I'd think nothing of having a glass of wine on my own at the end of a long day at work. But I don't think of it as as social lubricator at all, and tend to avoid drinking much/at all at parties etc.

For other people it's the other way around. And in that instance, I get why you would just see drinking alone as, well, a waste of decent alcohol!

I used to work all over the country and abroad and got completely hard faced to eating and drinking out on my own because sitting in a hotel room sucks. Enjoyed it in fact and sometime choose to eat alone now, I love reading so a magazine or book over dinner/lunch is great in my eyes.

I did get hit on frequently in hotel bars, at night but that another story.

Sorry but I also think a man or a woman having drinks alone are a bit of sad saps.

I liken this to the panic that women have when undressing on the beach. Convinced that everyone is looking at and judging their wobbly bits, internally commenting on how fat they are.

The truth is that no one really gives a shit, either about your saggy arse or the fact that you're enjoying a lovely cocktail.

So the overwhelming consensus seems to be that it's absolutely fine, you won't be judged, you won't be mauled or molested, and if you are, a polite decline is all that's needed.

So are you going to do it OP? Or are you going to let 'society' dictate what you can and can't do?

I understand where you are coming from OP. I sometimes go to my local for a drink on my own. On each occasion I have had men approach me and chat me up. I am not a glamorous youngster either, I am 51 and just sometimes enjoy a quiet drink and my own company. What happens is, you glance up and someone at the bar area catches your eye so you look away, and then the next thing you know they are by your side asking if you mind if they sit there and would you like a drink. Its not a horrible experience but it is sometimes a bit unsettling, especially as the times I tend to pop out to the pub are when I need to unwind and sort something out in my head that I dont have the peace at home to deal with.

From a mans perspective I dont think they think women alone are easy, but they probably consider them to be lonely and a friendly chat may be in order...

I would also think it depends on the type of bar/pub and the night of the week. Friday/Saturday nights at a winebar in town, would have more party going/drunks than a Monday lunchtime at the local...if you see what I mean.

Amelie do you never go shopping on your own? Do you never pop into a coffee shop on your own? Do you never have lunch on your own?

How is popping into the pub for a drink on your own any different?

I understand the not having childcare, not everyone does.

Back to the point in question, I've never really given it much thought,if I wanted to drink in a bar alone then I would take a book or laptop but that's because I'd be a bit bored.

I'd think nothing of seeing a women having a glass of wine after shopping.

I think you should do exactly as you wish and not worry what others think.

If you're talking about being harassed then that's another issue and nothing remotely to do with attractiveness as some have suggested.

I think people have this image still of women drinking alone as being a bit of an old lush. I'm talking about one maybe two drinks, functioning and going home to a family, not ending up in a pile of vomit under a table somewhere

OP if you aren't comfortable with the idea, don't go, as you wouldn't enjoy it.

When I was single and in my 20s a G&T and the Sunday papers in a local wine bar was one of my guilty pleasures. I never met any predatory men. I doubt I'd go now, purely because I am pretty much never without the dcs, so if I do have some free time I don't waste it sitting indoors.

I think that's what most people think too, couldnt. I don't go out and sit in pubs on my own and drink to oblivion and I haven't assumed anyone else does either.

I've just seen your post from last night in which you said you'd love to go camping alone too. If you'd love to, then why don't you?

Or is your fear of what total strangers might be thinking of you, if they had enough time in their own thoughts about your own life to wonder what was going on in yours, stopping you do everything you want to do in life?

Well I wouldn't judge you.

If anything I judge men that spend every weekend propped up a bar.

I generally wouldn't go into a bar alone, but if I REALLY wanted to, I would but I would be armed with a magazine or book. I don't think its much different to a bloke going in on his own with his paper or watching the Sky Sports on the screen.

Gosh, I hope that isn't the image people have of women drinking alone. If it is, there are people all over the world who think I'm a lush!

I do it because it's better than sitting on your own in a hotel room night after night. I also see plenty of women doing it.

Do you think you might be projecting your own prejudices a bit here?

Sorry but I also think a man or a woman having drinks alone are a bit of sad saps.

Amelie is probably the kind of person who cannot go into a public toilet cubicle on a night out without her Best Friend, so they can whoop and do Giggly Wees together .

PMSL at Giggly Wees.

I wouldn't do it as for me drinking is a sociable activity, not that I think men would chat me up!!