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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

a single bed isn't okay for 6ft3 16 year old?

167 replies

Callmeacxntbut · 20/10/2016 18:46

Had an awful row with XH and wanting to check who was BU.

DS, 16 soon to be 17, has told me he doesn't want to go stay at his dads this weekend as he is "being a dick" about his bed. Apparently he only has a single bed and will not buy him a double despite finding the single uncomfortable as he is 6ft3.

I asked DS to find a decent priced bed he likes so it would make talking to his dad about it easier. He found a bed similar to what he has here for £99. I phoned up XH and told him what DS had said and offered to give some of (or all) the money towards a new bed. Nope, he says that isn't happening. His reason for not getting a new bed isn't because he doesn't have the money for it but because him having a single bed stops his girlfriend from sleeping over.

Surely people can't actually think that? When his girlfriend first started staying a few months back DS only had a single for the first few weeks so they grabbed all the spare blankets and pillows and just made a den for them to sleep in.

DS and his girlfriend are both very respectful so if XH said no to her staying over it wouldn't happen.

I just don't think DS being uncomfortable is okay just because XH doesn't want a girl over. AIBU to say it's fine for him to not staying over anymore even though it's going to piss XH and his family off?

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 20/10/2016 18:59

My dh is 6'3, and when we were at uni the halls had narrow single beds. Didn't stop 2 of us sleeping in them, and he didn't have a double bed at home or university until he was 22.

Your ex isn't being unreasonable by either of having a perfectly reasonable bed, or choosing not to let his 16 year old bed share in his house

Original poster
Callmeacxntbut · 20/10/2016 19:00

it's a huge coincidence that his bed is now uncomfortable at the same time as he wants his GF to stay.

I agree, I originally said that but he reminded me he had being moaning about his single here for ages before he even had a girlfriend.

OP posts:
Iwannabelikecommonpeople · 20/10/2016 19:00

I'm with you OP..my DS is 16 and 6'3 too..he has a double bed and is far more comfortable in it. (just the fact that he can spread out a bit in it helps)..but ..If he spends less time at his his Dads anyway, surely a single bed for the odd night is ok?

WatchMeSoar · 20/10/2016 19:00

My son has a double, he sleeps slightly diagonal
He's tall and wide.
Your ex is being a dick
YANBU.

DameXanaduBramble · 20/10/2016 19:01

Sleep is important. Why should you have to 'manage' when something else is available. (Uni and other things aside) - I want my son to be a comfortable as possible.

TaliDiNozzo · 20/10/2016 19:01

I think this is probably a lot to do with the girlfriend even if your DS won't say so, but even given that you need to tell your DS to talk to his dad himself.

Ifitquackslikeaduck · 20/10/2016 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Callmeacxntbut · 20/10/2016 19:02

He stays every other week. Now hesold enough to decide I've told him he can choose where he spends most his time but he is scared of angering his dad. That's why he asked me to sort it.

OP posts:
Queenbean · 20/10/2016 19:02

And at nearly 17 why isn't he sorting it himself?

That's a bit harsh. What's he going to do, save up his pocket money, buy a bed and bring it home on the bus and assemble it all without involving his parents?!

Only on MN do people think things like a 16 year old buying himself a bed are reasonable

Meadows76 · 20/10/2016 19:03

Haha as if it's a problem for a tall person to sleep In a single. Do you know how our soldiers sleep in barracks Hmm what will you do when he goes to uni? Demand they provide a double LOL - you and your son are being ridiculous. A double is nicer, but ffs a single is adequate.

Witchend · 20/10/2016 19:04

I've various relatives 6'3" and over and the only one that had a bigger than standard single bed (until married) was the one who's 6'7", and he was quite happy for several years with a standard bed with a chair at the end with cushions up to the same height.

But Just a slightly annoyed that not being able to have a girlfriend stay, this is nothing about his height is it? He could be 3'3" and it would be too small. And maybe his df doesn't want him staying with a girl friend-is it even on the cards anyway?- many parents aren't happy with that at 16yo anyway.

TiggyD · 20/10/2016 19:05

I'm 6'2" without heels. A single normal bed means my feet hang over the mattress at the bottom. You either need a double for diagonal sleepage, or even better, an IKEA 2 metre long bed of any width.

Original poster
Callmeacxntbut · 20/10/2016 19:05

But yes, a double isn't twice the size of a single so if the OP's son can cope sharing a double then a single is more room!

But as others have said, a double is more room to stretch. He has the biggest bed we could here(think super king but I'm it sure as DP dealt with it) so it probably is hard to go from that to a single every week.

The room js big enough for a double, he still lives in the house we brought together so i know that for sure.

OP posts:
User100 · 20/10/2016 19:06

I'm with the other posters. He doesn't want a double bed because he's tall - he wants it to roll around in!

Trifleorbust · 20/10/2016 19:06

I agree a double would be nicer (wouldn't want to sleep in a single myself and I am a foot shorter than your DS) but it is your ex's call in his own house.

KungFuPandaWorksOut · 20/10/2016 19:06

I don't get why people are saying how do people in the forces or in uni cope. He isn't in the forces or uni so pointless making them comments. I'm 5ft, and find it uncomfortable in a single because I like too star fish. Just be sure this is over a bed though, and not over the girlfriend situation. He's obviously been over 6ft for a while and only just brought this situation up.

londonrach · 20/10/2016 19:06

My poor dh over 6 ft managed 5 years of uni in a single bed and at hus parents. As long as now board at the bottom cant see the problem. Its only a weekend. Anyone else stay in those foldable camp beds over the xmas period at family as late teens, young adults in the 80s

Original poster
Callmeacxntbut · 20/10/2016 19:06

He isn't going to uni so what I'd do isn't relevant

OP posts:
eurochick · 20/10/2016 19:07

I don't see the problem. Plenty of adults sleep in single beds - at uni, in twin hotel rooms, etc.

ThatStewie · 20/10/2016 19:07

Doubled beds are more comfortable than single beds for people who are very tall. Most uni dorms have double beds in them so that's a ridiculous comparison.

This isn't about beds but about relationship with DS and his father. They should be having this discussion together. If his father isn't willing to have a discussion about this with his son, then he'll soon find that his relationship with his son starts to suffer. And, likely in these situations, falter. Doesn't mean your ex has to provide the double bed (or allow gf to sleep over), just that relationships with teenagers as they become adults change.

Original poster
Callmeacxntbut · 20/10/2016 19:08

Witchend Sorry, I don't understand what you're saying?

OP posts:
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 20/10/2016 19:09

I agree with you op, dh is 6' 3. He could indeed sleep in a single bed, if there was room for his feet to hang over the end, and that is how he slept in halls of residence.

It was so uncomfortable we have had a king size ever since, and his feet are always on my side because they don't fit on his.

If anyone of normal height thinks it is fine, try sleeping on a toddler bed. You can squash yourself in, you will 'fit', but comfortable it isn't, because you are longer than the bed.

Sadly op I think if your exh won't buy ds a bed he can sleep comfortably in, he just won't stay there anymore. His dad is totally entitled to say he isn't allowed to have his gf sleep over, it's his house. But if he wants to have his ds sleep over, he needs to provide a comfortable bed.

Hulababy · 20/10/2016 19:09

Im not sure how a double bed makes much difference - single and double beds are the same length.

In the UK a standard single and standard doubt are both 190cm (6ft3cm). To get longer you need a king size - that is 3 inches longer.

FWIW, DH is just over 6ft 1 and whilst living at home only ever had a single bed - he was at home til he went to university at 18, and also came back during that time, plus lived at home for a year after (so aged about 21) - he managed fine.

Whilst I am sure a double is more comfortable - is for many people regardless of height as more room to spread, many adults sleep perfectly happily in a single bed.

And regards any other reasons he may want a double - well, having a single made no difference to us growing up. We both had singles in our respective parents houses, and I had a single at university.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/10/2016 19:09

Do you know how our soldiers sleep in barracks hmm

I do! Shall I tell you? My 21yo 6'2 son sleeps in a double bed in his en suite room because times have changed. When they go away, or on courses, they sleep in a single, or sleeping bag.

Omgkitties · 20/10/2016 19:09

I'm a 5 foot 2 and I wouldn't be comfy in a single.