I think it's personal...depending on all sorts of things. Don't feel pressured. In the first 12 weeks of my first baby's birth (IVF) - my mum would ask - may i do something in the house so you both can have quality time with your baby, while my MIL would say over and over, texts nearly every day - if i needed to do something shed look after the baby. Or pop in without calling, and held my lo for far longer than anyone else - i got a bit fed up with it, i was frightened to speak for fear of looking like clingy mum, - my mum said to say what i thought do as i needed, and suggested perhaps MIL meant a bath or a sleep catch-up....so for a bit i replied that's kind but no thanks, i slept when baby slept and bathed when daddy had baby. Then she asked if i needed to do chores - at this point i got my confidence back, said i was fine, please don't ask again, if i need help i'd ask. Shes much better now, but still kind of shoots herself in the foot - for example i asked (more for her than me, normally just did it when hubby got home) if shed mind looking after lo downstairs at 6months, while i did something .... please call me if he cried as he had only had one boob and had taking to having a snack break between them. after 20mins i could hear him crying... FIL saying call mummy, but MIL trying instead to calm him. I waited then eventually FIL called me... i came down stairs lo was ever so happy to see me. I think she so desperately wants to calm him herself, for them to bond, that she's rushing it. She is often right in his face with extended kisses, hugs and tightly holds him that he pulls away. i had to explain early on that he couldn't see soooo close and he'd get upset, having someone be so close and being smothering. She is lovely, and clearly a great, caring grandparent, just a bit ott. I think there's more to it - she wasn't so huggy and loving to her own kids and my mum thinks she probably wants to be closer to me, as her daughters both live abroad and aren't so close, open or loving. I'm making notes on how not to be when my lo has a baby! I know my lo is happy to see her, but she just always goes too clingy and so he finds it too much, his attention wanes and wants mummy or daddy. She often says things like - he is too clingy for you, hes just using you as a comforter or hes got you wrapped round his finger - hes playing you (a baby!!??)..sometimes babies just cry ...and you will make a rod for your own back picking him up instead of letting him cry out...holding him, carrying him so much (i use a sling)....or of course he eats a lot he's one of our family.....all old wives tales - or unhealthy views....i say - studies show wearing your baby gives them security, letting them crying out increases baby's and mums stress hormone cortisol levels and 3 days later mums goes down baby's stay high as they've just given up. ..both our families have weight issues - we are trying to let him find his own full, so he is at less risk of health problems later on, a baby has no way to communicate except crying, so hes being a good communicator and needs something, ....he hasn't developed enough to plan or create a scheme to achieve mummy control ...yet and simply and confidently, oh crumbs....no WE don't want anyone looking after him except each other..it's way too fun so it.. could be till he's five hee hee hee!!! We will probably ask when he's being a pain in the butt! She's got the message now me thinks. Always remember a baby, a toddler, a person cant have too much love - it makes 'those moments' easier to bare!!