Or are my neighbours complete IDIOTS 😂

[Lilianna123]

Another neighbourly dispute, same neighbours that claimed our cat was teasing their dog, and the same neighbours who accused us of stealing blackberries off their bush that happened to grow over my fence.

Well if I hadn't thought they were ridiculous before, I definitely do now.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the door saying they have had a new piano delivered and due to space they were limited on places it could go indoors (not our problem) they are saying where they have placed it is under a window and their view from the piano is a large oak tree which is in our garden. Their problem is that they are saying the many birds nests that are in this tree are distracting and these wild birds are making too much noise therefore distracting them from the piano.

There isn't even a suggestion in the note of what they'd like us to do about it. Not that I would even consider taking any action towards the tree but FFS what on earth are they doing? They don't have a bloody leg to stand on??

Wouldn't it be tragic if his piano wires got 'pruned' while he's away.

I think others are correct op. Andy is obsessing about all your wrong doings and is winding up to make campaigning against them his new passion in life.
Get cctv set up.
Keep all correspondence.
Get legal advice.
Keep a diary of all interactions.

This may be a slow burner but it is going to escalate unfortunately.

Funniest thread I've read in ages. Please go and plant an oak tree in their garden while they are away....

they are jealous Jane, that's why they are being difficult, they can't have the lovely things we have

You don't live in Royston Vasey do you?

Why on earth does he think you are jealous of their having "lovely things"?

That's quite a leap from declining to remove the oak tree

Tell them that you can recommend Antal Dorati's Mercury recording of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture which is famous for its spectacular live cannon. This, you could suggest would be best played out of the window at top volume on a Mitchell turntable and via concrete speakers placed actually on their piano so as to be as near the open window as possible. If the birds don't die of fright they well might, their piano could shatter and with luck their wall do a Buster Keaton. It would be worth watching from your side of the fence on 5th November if you can arrange it.... it would get you in the mood for the American presidential election too.

Find lots of dust sheets/curtains.

Wrap the tree up as much as you can.

Tell neighbours you've 'hidden' the problem.

Are you sure it's not Maui that they're off to?

Did you do something about the locks?

WTF are the birds doing to distract a grown man so much? Are they dodo's?

Nope, they're definitely not mine

Best thread for ages.

Feel very let down that they have gone on holiday. Hope they're not away for long!

Enjoy the lull OP and keep us updated.

How sad Woody is no longer Andy's favourite toy!

No they can't go on holiday - they'll be nothing to report on mumsnet

Holy Cwap!
I would not only obtain the Tree Protection Order, but set about to get every entrance into your garden secured (no padlocks or anything, but extreme measures for entry; maybe loud buzzer or bell when gate is opened...?).
I keep thinking what if they got a tree removal company to give them an estimate (acting as if they're the homeowner), then completed the job, all while you are away from the house or on vacation? If the tree man saw how the "homeowner" couldn't even easily open "her own" gate, he might think twice.
Also, with the TPO, you could have a little brass plaque installed on the tree so there would be no mistake. If you really wanted to turn the screw a bit, you could erect a "Home of Liliana Preservation Oak Tree" plaque on a signpost on the road, so everyone including future professional tree guys would hopefully hesitate.

I should add, DOCUMENT EVERY SINGLE THING related to this bizarre exchange. Prior to the second note I would have agreed with the other suggestion to return the note with "LOL! You had me for a minute there!"
But now it seems more like harassment, or worse, psychosis! And that makes it all the more crucial that you make entry to your property very difficult. You might want to inform Police and Fire, though. And of course when you're informing police about your security plans, they will naturally ask "Why?" and you can give them an unofficial heads-up about your NUTBAR neighbor.

I was a TPO officer for a local authority for 10 years. TPO's are put on trees that have a public amenity value (those can can be seen from public places, front gardens etc. ) if you tree is in the rear garden and has little visibility to the public then it would unlikely warrant a TPO. Having said this there are no laws that can make you take down a tree so there is little to worry about. The high hedge law relates to hedges not individual trees and is only used to protect neighbors light and reasonable enjoyment of their property. Your individual tree is not covered by this legislation. Also the issue here isn't light but noise from beautiful birds that every right to make noise and live in the tree.

I've been involved in many a neighbour dispute and my advice is to ignore them on the tree issue. There is nothing they can do to MAKE you remove your beautiful oak tree.

With regards to the noise they create at all hours this is an issue that the local authority noise pollution officers would get involved in. Good luck.

Take up the trombone and ask them if they'd like to join your band!!

The lunacy of other people's neighbours never ceases to amuse me.

This thread has made my day OP. I feel for you but oh the sniggering from me has been phenomenal!
Have you got your house keys back yet? Its a must!
So whilst they are away get your emergency TP order and hang lots of different wind chimes etc in the garden and near their piano window (as close as you can get) as a musical eco garden -at one with nature. Hehehe. bloody numbnuts.

"Find lots of dust sheets/curtains.

Wrap the tree up as much as you can.

Tell neighbours you've 'hidden' the problem."

glue this has been done before (on a slightly larger scale) http://christojeanneclaude.net/projects/wrapped-trees#.WAvY3HTGKhA

Commenting for the onslaught of notes that I am sure will start again once Andy and poor long suffering Mrs. Andy will start to share once they have stopped terrorising the locals and the wildlife of whatever expensive corner of Brighton, sorry French Polynesia.

Have to admit if I knew where they were flying to and from, I would send the authorities a helpful tip about the illegal white substance concealed on their persons. The ire of being searched should keep him busy once he gets back and you would get some peace.

However, I am a horrible person.

I'm finding it really annoying they've had the check to bugger off to Maui and deprive me of the best thread I've read in months.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!

Checking facebook and although were not friends there, I just had to have a little peek at Andys facebook. Apart from the 200000 pictures of the same thing and the same boastful captions about the yacht he's hired on his holiday... There are several posts regarding the tree situation.

One reads:
"Sick of neighbours thinking their shit don't stink and ignoring situations that need addressing"

Someone has commented asking and he has explained the situation in a comment, and about 15 people have commented back saying how ridiculous he is being, does he think he has a leg to stand on etc.

Hes commenting back telling everyone he will be removing them from facebook and his life once hes back from his luxury 6 star tropical break

Lol brilliant, he's a weird one for sure!!

That's hilarious! Andy sounds like a piece of work!