Or are my neighbours complete IDIOTS 😂

[Lilianna123]

Another neighbourly dispute, same neighbours that claimed our cat was teasing their dog, and the same neighbours who accused us of stealing blackberries off their bush that happened to grow over my fence.

Well if I hadn't thought they were ridiculous before, I definitely do now.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the door saying they have had a new piano delivered and due to space they were limited on places it could go indoors (not our problem) they are saying where they have placed it is under a window and their view from the piano is a large oak tree which is in our garden. Their problem is that they are saying the many birds nests that are in this tree are distracting and these wild birds are making too much noise therefore distracting them from the piano.

There isn't even a suggestion in the note of what they'd like us to do about it. Not that I would even consider taking any action towards the tree but FFS what on earth are they doing? They don't have a bloody leg to stand on??

Definitely start a diary. I have had a little experience of noisy neighbours and this will be the first thing the council ask you to do. Note when you get crazy letters from them and whenever they're making excessive noise in 'unsociable hours'.

I disagree with the idea of aggravating them further. But I also do not think you have to sort out their problems. Instead, I'd practice the art of writing lengthy, pseudo-sympathetic letters that don't actually do ANYTHING, but are slightly bonkers and also might trick them into thinking you sympathise with them.

I'd use Donald Trump's speeches as an inspiration. He's always passionately claiming that he's going to make America great again without a scrap of detail how. And plenty of people believe that. Add a smattering of Spike Milligan and Dr Zeuss for extra bonkersness and viola! You've got a hobby in creative writing that also keeps your nutty neighbours reassured that maybe you're on their side, maybe you'll do something, but they're not sure exactly what or when and there isn't enough evidence to sue you ...

Hope this helps x

Agree with others, log everything, take photos of the tree, video anymore unsociable incidents etc

OP, have you tried contacting the council? Are you doing anything proactive regarding being one step ahead of these people?

Wtf are the birds doing to distract a grown man so much?

Are they dodo's? Peacocks? Maybe a bird of paradise?

Can this man with all these lovely possessions not afford blinds or curtains? He certainly seems to have a very short attention span.

'No' is an answer.

I'd use it and walk away.

I think they are Mynah birds (or parrots) in the tree who have learned to shriek "Andy is a twat!" (and if they're not, then they should be - get on it OP ) Or Lyre birds making the noise of a chainsaw just to confuse him?

And WTAF was he doing out with a hedge trimmer when it was dark?

Diary/logs/video the hell out of them so you have a nice history of his lunacy ready for when you've finally had enough.

As I posted earlier op, I have had fifteen years of this and the only remedy is to keep cool and ignore. I have found his anger comes in fits and starts and I am the fall back irritant he picks on when not involved in other "issues". Just get on with your life, he is a narcissistic saddo who is trying to bully you into taking your tree down for no justifiable reason.

Great comment earlier on about how he does not think rules apply to him, but rules apply to everyone else. So sums up my neighbour.

Keep every note they send in a file, then when they go really nuts you will have proof it isn't your fault! Only saying this because we had nutty neighbours which started out as odd funny things like your tree but ended up eventually escalating and envolving police.

Or better still, keep the crazy notes, and log the conversations and then write it up as a book. I'd buy it.

I'm guessing the hedge strimmer thing had nothing to do with the hedges needing to be strimmed but Infact probably to annoy us in a sly manner. We were already up though

Saw wife this morning and she looked very embarrassed, she was loading suitcases into the car and mentioned they are off on holiday (she just had to name drop the fact they are off to a beautiful island in the French Polynesia ) so I guess we will see how things pan out once they are back

He's obsessed, isn't he? I bet he was bloody awful to work with.

Don't engage further but keep details/copies/records of everything.

I feel sorry for Jane

Perhaps the wife will engineer a terrible accident with some poi balls and return bereft yet oddly relieved.

They're on holiday! Any chance of planting a few acorns in their shrubbery? The odd one might grow up into a beautiful oak that they can keep trimmed to within an inch of its life... & the resulting plague of squirrels will be diverting for Andy

At least you'll have some peace whilst they're gone!

He's very proud of his "lovely things" then? I reckon you and your DH in the garden saying in pitying voices, "It's such a shame they can't afford some decent quality curtains to help with their piano issue" might upset his over-inflated ego.

I think you need to teach the cat to hum or sing. If the cat sat outside the window or better still in the tree and sang songs that were an octave above or below the piano playing then Andy would reconsider his angst and think you really are trying to help?

You need to use their holiday and throw as many acorns, conkers and plum stones over the hedge so they end up with a lovely selfseeded orchard.

Train the cat to do this through the window.

I know that this is funny to read, but honestly, it sounds like the start of a campaign by Andy.
Get a headstart, talk to the noise dept at your local council, start a proper diary, I wouldn't consider CCTV too extreme either tbh.

VivianWestwoodKnickers

You are so right. Initially I went along with my neighbours requests because some of them were reasonable and because I wanted to foster a good neighbourly relationship with them. The previous owners of my house lived here for 23 years and it seems they did what they wanted regardless of anyone else i.e 3 large trees in a relatively small garden, and not caring about the neighbours light or lack of. Building a conservatory and letting part of the roof and guttering go over the boundary line. Noisey. I could go on but I wont. But they mistook my reasonableness for weakness and became quite demanding and rude. It was only when I became exasperated and offended and let her know in no uncertain terms (because it was her not her husband) that it stopped.

Any chance of planting a few acorns in their shrubbery?

You little tinker, Furry

That cat is ACE!

I know that this is funny to read, but honestly, it sounds like the start of a campaign by Andy.

I think Armful is right.

They're not allowed to go on holiday at a time like this! Half of mumsnet is waiting see what they do next

Hmm is there a Tahitian mumsnet where someone will be asking Aibu about a guest wanting us to silence local wildlife?

Did Liberace Andy take his piano to Polynesia with him? Y'know how he is so passionate about his music...