To not want to learn to drive

[ThisUsernameIsAvailable]

I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

op says she just isnt interested, rather than any other reason. unlikely and unusual but taking her at her word, she is no more likely to be crap than anyone else.

Midnite

But surely that's something you learn though? Nobody is born with the ability to drive.

Yes granted, if someone is that nervous, they should be on private land/deserted car park until they learn how to be comfortable with handling the car.

I'm probably overly sensitive, as I was so nervous when I learnt to drive, but I passed first time and been driving 23 years and never been in an accident.

To be honest, I am more concerned about some of the "qualified" drivers I see on the road, than a learner who may be struggling (hence the ADI driving instructor, a dual controlled vehicle and L plates) - No one (I would hope) would just hop in a car and off they went.

Just a thought - we have relatives where one can drive and the rift kn the couple can't. They live in a small town with a train station and have 3 DC and the non-driver cycles most places

The local train service has been drastically reduced as a cost saving.

The driver of the couple has developed epilepsy and is no longer allowed to drive.

The non-driver is now learning so that the family can occasionally leave their town!

It might be worth learning in case anything happened to your OH. It doesn't mean you actually have to drive everywhere, but it's a useful to have.

I can't think of any reason not to learn a new skill when it is made so easy for you.

Just because you CAN drive doesn't mean you have to, but it will give you the option which you don't have right now.

Why not?

I don't drive, I tried repeatedly and hated it, it just scares the shit out of me. Somehow I have managed to live and work full time and bring up a family in three different countries without begging for lifts or being held back in any way. So all you people saying I'm a burden and dependant on my man can get stuffed!

It is probably me being unreasonable but I find it really annoying when adults don't learn to drive, unless of course they have a disability of any description which means they cannot.

It is limiting, means you can't do quick trips to pick up or drop off children/teenagers and it means you can't share the load on a long trip for example.

I actually think in this day and age it is an essential skill that should be learnt if the funds and ability are available.

driving is NOT necessarily an essential life skill (this discussion bears a marked resemblance to similar polarised discussions on 'learning to swim)
OP - it is up to you whether you learn to drive or not.
The spurious arguements about - what if you or your husband get older and he cannot drive make a nonsense of the oft repeated opinion on here that over 60s should not be on the road
I can drive (but find cycling difficult and always have ) and being a single parent years ago (no useful chauffeur) it was a necessity.
Everyones life choices are differant and there is NO right way to live - if you don't want/need to drive that is your choice and you can always change your mind in the future. Nothing to do with anyone else and personally I would find the offer of 'driving lessons' for a gift a bit patronising.

Ya but to not want to but you tabu not to at least try. I learned very late ( I. Hate pollution) but it is very useful and fun at times.

My parents have 7 children my mum has never had no desire to drive and my dad has always had a company van.

My mum managed until all of us left home without driving, including the days when pram couldn't stay upright on the bus.

Only learn if you want.

I drive and I would hate to be reliant on other people to get me to places, I know about buses, taxis, bikes etc but in the real world that isn't always possible or convenient. I hated learning to drive and I do get anxious driving in new city's but there is no way I'd ever want to be a non driver again. I'm surprised your husband doesn't get annoyed with the situation. I'm afraid to say if I was the only driver in my household I'd be really pissed off.

It's a pretty basic life skill. Not essential but incredibly useful and would enable you to share the burden of boring driving with your dh. Because it's likely there are times When a journey is a chore, even for good, confident drivers. What about when you do really long journeys of several hundred miles? It seems quite unfair not to share the burden, and is restricting on the family if you have to break for driver rest stops rather than just switching drivers. It also restricts your dh to not drinking whenever you're out. And what if he's ill and can't safely drive and the children need to be somewhere?

I would imagine the reason your family are dropping huge hints about you learning is that they aren't as comfortable with you not driving as you are!

I learned at 35 after dn broke her leg while we were at the park. There was some kind of event so no taxis, and I was refused an ambulance, so I had to carry her (she was 3) to the hospital on the bus. It was a horrifying experience and made me realise that learning to drive now is really not optional. I don't drive much now, just once or twice a week, but I do feel more prepared in an emergency now.

If this was a man posting, he'd be ripped to shreds as an inept, pathetic cocklodger.

And quite honestly, rightly so. People are being very sympathetic towards you, so that's nice.

You don't understand all the advantages driving brings, nor do you really understand how much not being able to drive is a drain on your driving partner, and his time.

Those of us who do drive, understand that perfectly.

And yes - maybe it's time to take the huge hints!

Just a different perspective from a fellow non driver. I never had any interest in learning to drive. I was offered lessons as a birthday present when I was a teenager but just didn't want to. I was and still am, terrified of being in control of a metal box on wheels. While I feel I would probably be fine at driving, it's all the other people on the road that scare me more. I've seen so many people do stupid things.
I use public transport or my OH drives, which he is happy to do.
If you don't 'want' to drive OP then don't. I understand that it gives you a certain amount of freedom to be able to drive but if you are happy with where you can travel to without it, which you seem to be, I don't see the problem in not having a license.

TheDowagerCuntess if this was a man posting.....
You are completely right, all the men hating women would smell this post and be on it faster than a rat up a drain! lol

My aunt doesn't drive. Her husband is in hospital and she cant go and see him regularly as its 2x buses that stop at 5pm and taxis too expensive. She cant come to her brothers 80yh as no one to drive her. I'd say its pretty limiting if/when the driver you rely on is incapacitated!

The problem is the burden it places on other people to compensate for your lack of willingness to drive.

If you're fine with that, then no problem.

Buster - I haven't encountered any 'man-hating' people on MN!

My point was that the OP should be getting equally as hard a time as they would be.

I have a licence but haven't driven in about 16 years. At first it was because I had no need of a car and now I'm just too nervous. I still don't need a car day to day but my husband keeps pestering about it because he'd like me to share the driving on our relatively rare long journeys.

I just think that there are so many nasty and aggressive drivers it makes it very intimidating for some. My dad and FIL are prime examples. If someone is in the wrong lane they never let them in and stick tight to the car in front, to teach them so lesson or something. A lot of the roads round here have cars parked on both sides and 2 cars travelling in opposite directions struggle to pass. Just yesterday I saw car waiting for an oncoming car to come through and the guy in the car behind her was beeping his horn and shouting out of his window "you could get a fucking bus through there". There are too many arseholes with no patience and even the thought of it stresses me out.
I'll stick to my bike and the bus.

Learn to drive. Get a licence. Doesn't mean you have to drive or buy a car afterwards, but at least it means you have that option.

There's a reasons your family/friends won't drop it. Short of you having a disability/genuine fear or as a family not being able to afford a car, you really should learn. If not for yourself, for your husband and kids.

What would you do if your husband was unable to drive for some reason? It's not so uncommon. I can't see how it's fair that he does all the driving. Or safe on longer trips. And I think it sets a bad example to your children that daddies drive and are in charge but mummies just take the bus.

I've noticed a recent trend in friends who never drove, posting about passing tests on Facebook. Common factor, they all now have young children.

Do it as a present to your family. You are still allows to walk/take the bus etc if you hold a license you know

TheSowagerCuntess maybe not men haters, that was a bit strong. Back to the OP I do believe it must be a strain on her husband, I know in the few years between me passing my test and my husband his, he couldn't wait for the strain to be taken off of him.

Only an observation but I do relatively often read posts on here from women who live in rural areas and are isolated by the fact that they can't drive and their other transport options are limited. Especially with children, this can make you very reliant on your husband or other family members which might be okay when the relationship is rosy but if it becomes strained, not having the ability to jump in a car and get yourself (and your children) to safety is a level of vulnerability and co-dependence that I couldn't countenance. Just learn!