To not want to learn to drive

[ThisUsernameIsAvailable]

I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

If it works for you and yours then it works.

You don't need permission or validation

I avoided learning to drive until I was 28 and I wish I'd learnt sooner.
My mother insisted my father be her chauffeur and wouldn't learn to drive. When he died aged 50 she regretted it. She had lessons for two years and then gave up. Her social life petered out and shopping was hard as she got older.

But why should your husband be the only driver in the family ? Its not fair on him to do all the driving. When we go on long trips (reasonably frequently to aging parents) we share the driving as its tiring.

YABU - it's a life skill and I simply do not understand anyone not wishing to learn.

Look, it wasn't a nasty post. It was a theory I heard once and recognised the basis of in women of my mother's age who didn't drive.

There's men who don't drive for whatever reason: cocklodgers, men with disabilities, men who don't need a car because their lives are perfectly transported by other means.

There are old people who live round here who will never drive again but the cost of deliveries or a taxi to the surgery (emotive language) will be much cheaper than the cost of running a car.

There are people who need a car to get to work because there's no public transport. Yes, I can walk four miles each way but not at five in the morning and nine at night - though some people do.

It's just a theory.

Are your parents getting older, maybe wishing you could drive them about?

Tbh I find it quite selfish.

It's unfair on your husband and it's a life skill. Also with 4 kids I would want that skill in an emergency type situation.

You don't have to drive but you should pass the test so if you had to you could.

I'm 32, can't drive and I hate it. I am reliant on my DP to drive me everywhere if we're going out of London. The plan is to start learning when I go back to work, and buy myself a little car. I can't wait!

There was a time when I didn't care either, but now I find it limiting. If it wasn't for money, I would have learnt by now.

I think that if people are offering to help, you should take them up on it. You never know, you might end up being one of those people who love driving!

I don't drive and I'm not controlled by anyone thankyou very much.

I don't drive either OP and also use a bike. I have no desire to learn. I feel though that the time is coming when I have to...simply because I worry about what will happen later if DH can't drive for some reason.

What if we're old and he's not fit to drive?

I think it's a life skill but not necessary if you live in the right town. I love the freedom of being able to drive.

OP, how about a few lessons and see how it goes. You might find out that you take to it really well and even enjoy it? If you still don't want to then fair enough but at least you tried.

I wouldn't bother, we will have driverless cars soon enough.

You don't have to learn how to drive, but if you have no medical reasons not to, then don't expect a lift from anyone.

I do drive, but only because I have to for where we live really.

I don't enjoy it and never have. If I lived somewhere with good public transport then I would certainly drive very much less than I do now.

I suppose that if you live rurally with no public transport then it is a "life skill", but living in a city with good public transport? Not so much.

If I lived in say, London (used to), then I would use home delivery for most of my grocery shopping and buses or tube for the rest. A car would hardly get an outing regardless of how many children I had.

You know your own circumstances. Be honest about how reliant you are on other people and you will have your answer.

IKEA don't deliver the hot dogs which is mainly why I go

Tbh I wouldn't be impressed if DP didn't drive.

I don't drive. Have never relied on or cadged lifts. In fact it's a bit of a running joke amongst colleagues/family that they offer but I refuse.

I felt pressured to learn by family when I was younger but never had an desire or inclination.

I love walking, it keeps me fit and healthy. It has dictated my job and where we live but I am happy with our life.

My only reason for wanting to learn is for DH and the DC, in case of emergency or circumstances changing in future.

Am thinking of learning but equally don't want to be an anxious driver or a limited one. At least at the moment I'm a confident non-driver who can get anywhere on my own terms.

Teenagers require a lot of taxiing around. In my, admittedly small, sample size of two, the male sub-species like the independence of coming and going as they please by bike. The female version, however, are unable to do this because of helmet hair, the potential of rain upsetting their make-up, helmet hair, it drastically limits shoe choice, helmet hair, there is a small incline on the way, oh and helmet hair. Sigh.

It's a bit harsh to dump all of the taxiing on one person.

As someone with a DH who doesn't know how to drive, I can say from this side that'l it's tiring and annoying to be the only driver ferrying everyone around. When I had surgery he couldn't get me from the hospital and I have to be the designated driver all the time.

Our situation is slightly different in that he wants to drive but we can't afford the lessons. He has a provisional and is on the insurance under that so he can do some driving but not motorways. We like to take trips away but I get so fed up of doing all the driving. There have been times he's suggested we go somewhere (like visit his grandparents 10 hours away) and I've just outright said no because I can't take the drive there since we have limited time.

I don't drive either because I live in the city. I have driven before as a learner and I actually really liked it. But then we moved in the city and I found everything is so close, so I didn't continue it. I honestly wish I had now because now I have to redo all the learner portion of it. But I will eventually get it, hopefully in the new year because my parents are getting older and I want to be able to drive them around. Also feel bad having my husband do all the driving.

On the other hand, if you don't believe you'll be good at it then please save the rest of us from your lack of confidence

ODFOD!

She hasn't even started to learn yet, there is every chance she could be an excellent driver, and I dare say better than you, as it's drivers like you who have no patience who are generally poor drivers.

I can't drive because I have certain disabilities. I wish I could, though, it makes getting a good job hard.

Agree with whoever said that's it's your choice but then don't expect lots from anyone.

To me driving is like cooking. You don't have to know how but life would be a lot easier and better of you did.

Finally, please don't tell me this is for some kind of eco-shot reason. Little worse than eco sanctimony from people who otherwise live modern lives.

so long as you dont end up like my pain in the arse mil, who never learned to drive because she loves being 'chauffeured'! her dh died young so since then she asks all and sundry for lifts everywhere and thinks nothing of expecting people to spend twice as long in the car ferrying her around. taxis are too expensive apparently, but those of us with cars face no costs of course! if you see a future relying on elderly parents or grown up children for lifts everywhere, yabvu.

She hasn't even started to learn yet, there is every chance she could be an excellent driver, and I dare say better than you, as it's drivers like you who have no patience who are generally poor drivers.

Actually, it's a valid point. Someone who is terrified every time they get behind the steering wheel of a car IS a danger on the roads. People who put their brakes on at a merge because they aren't confident enough to merge safely, people who dither halfway across a crossing, people who are so busy concentrating on left and right that they have no spatial awareness. These are all people that should not be on the road.