To not want to learn to drive

[ThisUsernameIsAvailable]

I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

bowbow- car drivers are also pedestrians- and many are keen walkers too.
My car enables me to go deeper into the countryside to notice these "trees and flowers".

My friend doesn't drive. She also lives in London so uses public transport. I gather she is fine with it. I do find it a bit strange personally and can't imagine it myself but my life is totally different. I live in a rural county and work in the sticks so it would be impossible for me not to drive. It suits her lifestyle and her husband drives if they go further afield.

I find it quite ironic that some of these non driving posters who are preaching about the environment have 4 or 5 kids.

You don't that kids are eating up carbon? Every time they have a pee or sit at a school desk or eat their lunch they are polluting the world.

I can't imagine knowing what a sense of freedom autonomy and opportunities driving gives you and saying "thanks but no thanks".

I can't imagine choosing to wait at bus stops rather than jump in the car (if you can choose obviously.)

The bike riding everywhere sounds great and I love walking too but having a car allows you to fit more in. OP I'm assuming you don't rely on anyone for lifts anywhere ever; even so, if your DCs want to be different places at similar times, surely you must have to turn down invitations etc?

You seem to be quite an expert on polluting the world, user

I think that those who are contributing to the population apocalypse are rather hypocritical in condemning those who drive.
Driving has to be done at some point for these 4 or 5 children. To ensure they have the resources to exist.

I am not suggesting that cars don't pollute, but it's hypocritical to criticise when you are choosing to have a large family.

My husband doesn't drive, I don't mind. I learnt at 35, because one of my children took up a hobby that was easier by car but we got rid of the car as it kept sitting on the road until the battery went flat. The cost of owning/running it was higher than taxis whenever we fancy, hire cars on holidays & all the public transport we can eat.

SuburbanRhonda as expert as most, and more expert than some.

Wow, can't believe people are actually saying yabu to not drive. Its a choice and shouldn't be forced. No wonder there are so many bad drivers about, not everyone is good at some things, even with practice, some people on the road passed by the skin of their teeth and are not very good at it! I've done a few lessons because people kept going on that I should, I hated it and have no plans to drive. Public transport is really good round here so sometimes I use that. When we are going on holiday or for big days out dh is coming anyway and he drives. I've asked him does it bother him me not driving and he's said not at all.

I do think its a handy skill to have yes but if someone really doesn't want to do it that should be fine. I'm 25 with two children and one on the way. Not driving isn't limiting me at all. I live in a small town in the middle of a few bigger towns though and there's lots of buses and trains available and we do lots of walking. Can see it being more difficult in some areas

OP you say For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

What is this reason? Have you asked? It sounds like a pretty big hint tbh.

Neither me nor my dh drive as we can't afford to and we have 4 dc. Buses round ours are fairly cheap and tbh their school and the shops are all no more than 15 mins away. Xz

I'd say only learn if you want to - don't let others pressurise you. There are some cities where a car is quite superfluous because everything is within walking or cycling distance.
I only drive about 5000 miles a year but my car does give me a sense of freedom. To those posters preaching about the polluting nature of cars, perhaps look at reducing your air miles as even a couple of short flights can equate to a whole year's car usage.
My gripe is people who accept lifts regularly, offer nothing towards running costs, and then have the audacity to lecture about the evils of the car. I think there are a few of these on here!

I have never learned to drive (dcs 17 and 14 now) and we have lived without a car for most of their lives. (My dh does drive but money tight). My dcs have always walked everywhere within a couple of miles and they still do without hesitation. We also cycle. Otherwise, public transport (train tickets with a family rail card bought ahead of time very cheap). I'm not sure we could have managed somewhere rural but living in cities has been fine.
Having had a car for a year since we had our dcs I would say there are many advantages to not always being able to leap into the car. My dcs are very fit and my dh and I have spent a lot of time walking and talking with them over the years and sitting together on long train journeys. Disadvantages are it's hard to be spontaneous about taking a long trip and of course some places are out of reach. Nevertheless it's been all very doable and we’ve managed without cadging lifts from other people. Am in my 50s now and doubt I'll ever learn.

Bowbow I do considerably more walking than driving.I walk to school and back twice a day and walk to town and walk to the common/parks and walk to Beavers. We pick up sticks, blow dandelion clocks and stroke cats!! My boys have good road sense and are very fit and active. Next week in half term, I can drive us to places which are too awkward or time consuming by public transport. I can have bags in the boot and gone are the days of standing in the rain waiting for a bus with miserable over tired children. My Mum has never driven, so I know what it's like from a child's point of view too.

Air pollution is harming our children, literally shrinking their lungs. If you can manage without driving, that is a good thing for local children, including your own. There's no need to feel bad about it. That said, I found it much harder managing without a car once I had a child, learnt when my son was 4, and now have to drive for work. It became a crucial marketable skill when I had difficulty getting back to employment after a mum career break. I'd say, don't succumb to pressure. Make your own decision. There are arguments on both sides.

Learnt to join a couple of years ago at 30, had delayed for years living in London but it Is the best thing i've ever done. I was really nervous so learnt in an automatic which made it a lot easier and quicker to pass.

Why can't just not wanting to be a genuine reason?

It's not a real reason. 'I don't want to' is the kind of thing children say when you tell them to go to bed or eat sprouts. It has to be "I don't want to because..."

The real reason could be anything, and certainly no one needs to justify the choice, but it helps others understand.

my kids have learned to be street wise in crossing roads, using public transport and knowing their community and environment, I feel it's given them confidence. They experience all the weather and see the clouds and notice the trees and flowers....also we get to hold hands and have lovely chats and get exercise while we are at it.

These benefits are not exclusive to children of non-drivers.

I learned to drive when I was 30 because we moved from London to the countryside. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done (for me, harder than any school, university or professional exams!) and took me 3 attempts.

Now I can't imagine not being able to drive and we couldn't live where we are now without a car.

Having said that my DP is 46 and doesn't drive. He moved abroad when he was 18 and never got round to taking his test. I have tried to encourage him to learn as I worry what would happen if I was unable to drive for any reason but he says that he is too old to learn now.

Frankly I think that is rubbish but he is a stubborn twat when he wants to be!

Depends on other life choices User. We live a very simple life, as close to the good life as we can. We wear hand me downs, take camping holidays, grow our own, cloth nappy, cook from scratch etc, etc. We regularly cycle/hike. Also are active members of Greenpeace, BTW. Plus, in Switzerland, where we live, recycling is obligatory. (FYI, the birth rate is currently unsustainable and we are regularly congratulated on our brood by randoms!).

But that is ok... we don't need to explain ourselves and our lifestyle choices/morals. Neither do you (as you sit comfortably on your long haul flights for work...)

I agree Sprink.

I think some people on this thread assume that drivers never walk anywhere. Nothing could be further from the truth!

I love walking and walk whenever possible. Until recently I was able to walk to work and DD always walked to school right from reception through to Sixth Form. We also walk as a leisure activity.

However, there would be so many things I couldn't do or would find so much harder or more time consuming if I couldn't also drive. Driving gives you more options.

Wow, can't believe people are actually saying yabu to not drive. Its a choice and shouldn't be forced.

I agree, I would rather nervous or reluctant would be drivers weren't browbeaten onto the road by well meaning, but ultimately misguided friends and relatives. If they feel they have poor co-ordination, spatial awareness and struggle with decision making strong arming them behind the wheel of a ton and a half of killing machine isn't really on either for them or other road users.

Likewise those people suggesting that people learn to drive as an 'insurance policy' for years into the future when driving spouses die or become too ill to drive seems pretty risky too. Imagine you'd passed your test in 1976 in a Morris Minor and then ventured out onto the roads in a brand new car complete with all the technological bells and whistles having never driven in the intervening period or having driven very infrequently. The shifts in car technology, busier roads coupled with having forgotten most of what you'd learned forty years ago would make you to all intents and purposes an unaccompanied learner driver and that's without factoring in the decline in mental and physical sharpness that comes with age.

the birth rate is currently unsustainable and we are regularly congratulated on our brood by randoms!)

What a narrow point of view. We are all global citizens. Over population is the single biggest threat to our species.

Are you honestly saying that as long are you are OK on your little patch then the problem isn't yours?

Not at all user.

Our views/considerations/thoughts are very local, national and global. Geneva is one of the most international places on earth, due to the UN village, and it is a fascinating, culturally diverse place to be in. Such a rich tapestry of opinions, practises and thoughts.

What I am implying is that I think you are a massive judgeypants.

My husband doesn't drive. He took a test when he was 17 ,failed and never bothered again. He's 56 now. I'm 52 and have been driving since 1985. Yes, sometimes it's a pain that he doesn't drive...but I like driving (hate motorway driving) so it's not the end of the world, although it does bother me a little how it's going to be as we both enter our later years . My two eldest haven't shown any desire to drive yet (24 and 19).