To not want to learn to drive

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I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

You don't realise how freeing it is. I was a late driver (30) and it felt bloody brilliant when I passed. We like going for walks. Not just walks around our village tho! With 4 kids I suspect you'll very much regret not learning as you and your family grow older. You will find other mums getting a bit pissed off at having to do all the trips/pick ups and drop offs etc. Do it for your kids and family, and you'll find it was a favour to yourself too!

It took me two years and SIX driving tests to pass my test. I was 19. It really wasn't easy for me and for some people, it just isn't - but it's so worth it if you can.

One of the things people just totally ignore is that for some people it just doesn't come at all naturally. I had great difficulty judging space. I did pass my test but after ramming my dm's car up against the driveway post a few times and being beeped at furiously numerous times, I just lost confidence.

Years later (I mean literally decades) it was discovered I have a condition that causes excessive fluid round my brain, resulting in loss of balance and vision issues. There's actually a reason I can't judge space (at all).

I learnt to drive in my late 30s only after I had kids and moved out of London to where there are not as ideal transport links. Like a lot of my friends, I am a 'local driver'. I drive to places that are 30 mins away or less. It has made my life and my DCs lives better. I wish I had learnt earlier. My DH does all the 'big driving' like going on holiday or driving to relatives. He is happier now I drive as it's not all on him. Just because you can drive doesn't mean you automatically now do all the driving your DP can still do the majority, it's a valuable skill to have for the rest of your life.

It was only when my sister 's DP learnt to drive that she realised what a burden she had been shirking by expecting my sister to drive all the time.

Driving is a life skill, it's also a chore and as such gets shared in most families.

I learnt to drive when I was 44 and it's one of the best things I've done. I rode a moped for years however the job I do now which I love requires me to be able to drive. I regret not learning earlier as it would of been so much easier taking my son and his friends out for the day when he was a child. I would of loved to have picked him up from school in the car. Finances stopped me learning when I was younger. I walked everywhere and loved it but even when I'd passed my test I'd still walk with a rambling group and I've just ordered a bike through the bike to work scheme. It's just another string to your bow but if you don't want to learn then don't. It's not compulsory, but it's a useful skill to have.

iMogster, why would you expect your partner to still do all the 'big driving'? Wouldn't you step up and share it now? You know, 50:50?

I've never learnt, well passed my test, far too highly strung. I manage fine with walking & public transport IMO people rely on cars too much (unless living in the middle of nowhere)

If iMogs partner is happy to do all the big driving and iMogs happy doing all the local runs why should they change things. Family life doesn't have to be a perfect 50/50 split of chores. I know so many couples where one partner does all the motorway driving and they're perfectly happy with that set up, and in fact of the couples I know it's the wife who does most of those type of drives because they enjoy driving more than their husbands do.

I think it's YOUR choice if you want to drive.

I have two children who are at different schools. Myself and my husband don't drive. he wants to learn but it's expensive and he's scared of the unknown I guess.

I am more than happy to use public transport. I'm not allowed to drive because I have epilepsy. So I have a free bus pass which I use a lot. I do my shopping online.

Not driving doesn't make much difference to us. Our children enjoy trains, buses, taxis and walking.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe My DH enjoys driving and although I like the freedom and flexibility it has given me, I can't say I actually enjoy it. I use the car a few times a week and DH not very often, so in a way I do more driving. It's true, when we go on holiday/visit relatives he will do the whole drive and I do none, but I do all the driving to clubs, parties, social events and he does none. This works for us and is like 50:50. Other couples might split the holiday drive and alternate who takes kids to parties etc and that is also 50:50 but split differently.

i was a late driver and not very good and tbh I don't enjoy it. The only reason I learned was because we wanted flexibility in where we lived and so needed to be outside of driving distance to the station. I don't think we need to drive much- some children's activities and visiting friends - but the first is a product of where we live and the second convenience/habit. I would say that it is fine to say that you live in an area where you don't need to drive but its probably not the same for all your friends, So if you visit someone that doesn't live near a station/public transport it does create a dependency.
So DSIS doesn't drive- so if she visits us its by train with me picking her up from station- its not a biggy

YABU, unless you are happy never ever to expect anyone else to drive you or your dcs anywhere.

Surely not being able to go to IKEA is a sound reason to avoid learning to drive!

Fair enough, iMogster; it sounds as if you have a fair balance and if your husband likes driving then that's great because he won't mind the long drives.

ILikeTrains, agree. As long as the partner doing the lion's share of driving (or childcare or other chores) is fine with it then there's no issue.

I quite like driving but not with my husband as he's a nervous passenger and criticises my driving. With gaffer tape I think it could work!

do what you want not what everyone says you should its your life bus bike or cab its your choice

test

I see it as a necessity and as people have said you may not need it now, but you'll regret it / feel rather silly / annoyed it if you needed to but couldn't.

If everything is walking distance then no need to learn to drive and walking and cycling will keep you and the kids very fit! If your husband had to chauffeur you and the kids places then it's not fair on him.

Sorry I think you are unreasonable turning down the chance to learn. My DH can't drive (failed three tests) and it's a complete PITA for me and a real burden sometimes. He cycles to work but it restricts the jobs he can do and areas he can work as well as overtime potential (it's unsafe cycling home late at night in the dark). It restricts my work too as it limits childcare options. Long distance drives are frustrating and relentless with only one driver too. I feel really resentful at times and I've only got two dc to worry about,

I didnt learn to drive until i was 36 and still dont have a car, but when i do need a car i can buy one and have some refresher classes, I did lessons to improve my CV. I just thing it will be good for when you are old and less mobile!

I passed my test at 50 and its the best thing ive ever done days out weekends away yeah you have parking to pay buts its only once during the day good in the school holidays too

My husband and I can both drive but we don't have a car. We don't need one in London. Our 3 boys have the best street knowledge and are totally public transport savvy- v useful skills.

I passed 3 months ago aged 39, this was following a 10 year break after I'd failed 3 tests. I felt I needed to do it for my 3 year old daughter and it is been AMAZING! Best thing I ever did. My mum is 70, passed her test at 17 and never drove since, she hates it! She managed with 4 children and no husband. Do what suits you.

DH and I both have cars and I love driving. I cannot imagine life without my car. Just one day while its in the garage and I miss it. That aside, you've managed without for many years and I expect you'd be ok for some time. But one day, it's possible you'll regret it. And you may be even less inclined to learn by then and less confident.

What if your husband breaks a leg or something and needs rushing to hospital? Why not give it a go and see how you get on.

I just can't imagine relying to that extent on someone else.