My dd is 2 years old. Dniece (5) Dnephew (also 2) are at my house everyday (both parents work) and normally everything is fine but occasionally they all fight, its usually over toys.
Now i understand my daughter can be rough, we are working our hardest (with her preschool teachers) to get her to stop and her behaviour has improved! She has stopped the hair pulling, biting, pushing and pulling. I am really happy with her progress.
Dsis and BIL can't see the improvement (we physically see them once a week) Dsis does drop offs and pick ups but i only see her for 5 mins in the morning and afternoon.
When they do visit they constantly shout at dd when in my opinion she has done nothing wrong (jumping around, shouting and running in circles) i do remind her to use her inside voice but she gets excited. I don't agree with telling her to 'shut up' because i have a headache..
Dnepew does cry a lot. Whenever my dd gets close he slaps her. I try to tell Dsis this but she thinks the fault lies with dd. I see the 3 dc everyday and i know what they are like! Dniece blames dd for everything even if i seen Dniece do it.
For example Dniece throws all the shoes off the rack and i ask why did you do that? Can you pick them back up please she then turns around and tells me that dd done it and she won't pick them up. Another one is she emptied the 2 toy boxes and when asked to pick them back up she tells me that dd should do it because it was her fault, i could go on.
Dniece obviously tells her version of events and i'm sure you know how children exaggerate things/make them up. I always get a phonecall accusing dd of pulling dniece's hair or scratching her and i think to myself that never happened 
and fill them in on what we have done that day and they will go on and on with 'but dniece told me this happened' she could tell them that a 3 legged elephant jumped out the bushes and they would believe her because 'she doesn't tell lies'.
Anyway tonight i had a few missed calls and they told me that dniece has a massive scratch on her back (obviously i do not have a clue where that came from) i don't take her clothes off, she uses the bathroom by herself all i do is remind her to wash her hands. She has told them that dd done it but dniece never said anything to me about it (she normally cries and tells me instantly) but nothing like that happened today. Infact i had a word with them all about getting on because they are friends and dniece was huffy about it.
I am getting fed up of it now and its really upsetting me.
Maybe it is dd faults and i'm just fooling myself about her improvement.
I don't know why i'm posting this, i think i just wanted to get a few things off my chest.