To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

I think i had my bum groped a few times in night clubs (didnt include them)

While walking past men

Stupid me shouldn't walk past men and shouldn't go to night clubs

Women know your place. Actually i havent been in a nightclub for ages

I only read the OP not the rest of the thread.

I got into bother in my own bed. When bleeding from childbirth and with milk leaking.

What say you to that Deblet?

Read the thread then deblet - let us know your thoughts once you have ...

I only read the OP not the rest of the thread.

There are nine hundred posts. Why should anyone read yours if you don't pay them the same courtesy?

Maybe I shouldn't have bothered working and signed on and stayed at home so I didn't put myself into a position where men could (if they choose to) sexually assault me on public transport

What the fuck was I supposed to do - Put a tent in the garden?

Johnny and Mrs Porter thank you for sharing your stories around pregnancy and birth with the aftermath of sexual assault. I'm going to speak to my midwife and hope they understand and can support me as my experiences have massively effected how I see how my previous birth was handled and I'm terrified of going through it again. Thank you and I'm so sorry you have had those experiences.

Too much to count, and I don't even think I've had it particularly bad.

Patchy memories of being abused by family "friend" on holiday at a young age.

Sexually assaulted by other pupils aged 6 and aged 11/12. Told a teacher both times and was told to be more careful and stay away from each boy in question. So my fault then?

Repeatedly groped by a driving instructor when a shy 17yo.

Sexual rumours spread about me at work aged 18 when I turned someone down. I was a virgin by gained a reputation as a "slag" who loved anal sex with anyone.

Grabbed, pawed, cat called and harassed by strangers and occasionally by colleagues through my twenties. Friend's boyfriend grabbed my breasts and stuck his tongue in my mouth when I was drunk then told her we had "got off together".

Thirties - more of the same, but not as much. Middle aged colleague spread a rumour he and I were having an affair. I know some people still believe it.

You didn't think that with 900 posts there might have been women sharing their exoeriences of sexual assault deblet? How fucking arrogant do you have to be to ignore 20 pages of posts because it is just so vital that the thread gets to hear your view.

You know what ISay you are right.

I can't see one male poster saying anything sympathetic. It's all 'well, it happens to men too you know'.

The depressing thing is, I'm not even surprised.

Speaking of depressing, what about the 'well, this has never to me...' posts from some folk. Do they think we're all making this up because it's cool to be in the 'I ws sexually assaulted by a man' club?

Women aren't raped because men 'misconstrue their intentions'.

No. Women are raped because those men are predatory rapists.

People like deblet are enablers when it comes to rape and rape culture.

I was always careful not to be a drunk or put myself into situations where my intentions would be misconstrued so I have never been in a position to get into bother.

That is a horribly victim-blaming statement. Just horrible. - are you suggesting that the women sharing their stories on here "put themselves into the situation" ?

So - the school girls who are grabbed when walking home from school - on the tube - the women dancing in clubs who were assaulted - The rape victims? Their intentions were 'misconstrued' ? This sort of talk excuses rapists. Shame on you.

Did I say it was vital? I answered the thread because a question was asked. I work all day I don't have time to read every reply. I also don't have time to be sitting on the computer thinking up things to write I wouldn't dare say to somebody's face. You really are nasty bunch on here aren't you? Still as long as it makes you happy.

I wonder how my intentions were being misconstrued when I sat in my jeans and fleece and asked my middle aged driving instructor to explain again how to do a hill start? When I sat at my desk in my own office in a shirt, jumper and trousers and had a virtual stranger come in and cup my breasts from behind? When I stood silently in the crowded dinner queue in my school uniform and had a fellow pupil ram his fingers into the entrance of my vagina?

Nb I don't think I'd have invited this behaviour even if I had been flirting in a low cut top and mini skirt. Ironically I've done that too, without being assaulted.

Poor Deb. Not much going on there in the brain cell dept.

I have never been in a position to get into bother. What, like walking down the street in broad daylight, in jeans and a jumper up to your neck? Or carrying shopping back to your flat, or, God, any number of everyday situations. Fuck off.

Deb, do you acknowledge, since reading the posts after yours, that women actually frequently don't "have their intentions misconstrued" when they are raped or sexually assaulted? And that by saying they do, you are adding weight to the myth, leading to lower convictions and lack of reporting?

Perhaps if you do agree with this statement, you might have an idea why posters following you are a tad angry?

Quite AF.

Deblet an apology might have been a more appropriate response than sniffily attempting to cast yourself as the hard done to one after victim blaming on a thread where woman have disclosed sexual assaults.
Shame on you.

thinking up things to write I wouldn't dare say to somebody's face., well that is ironic, considering you've just done the online equivalent of saying to victims of rape and sexual assault that they brought it on themselves. Would you say THAT in real life?

Actually, you probably would. So that's nice.

Men misconstrue their intentions? Fuck Off.

I was groped at 12 years old by a lad who lived on the same street "to see if I had tits yet".

I've had my arse slapped and grabbed by men in clubs/bars, without even making eye contact. Another male yanked my hair back when I tried to repel his advances, and was called a fucking slag.

I was a 19 year old virgin when a man old enough to be my father grabbed me hard between my legs and told me he "would ruin my twat", when I was carrying glasses, in full view of others who said nothing.

Probably my own fault for working in a bar though, hey?

A whole brain cell all of her own???

And guess what if you said that to me in RL I would take great pleasure in telling you women can wear what they want AND get drunk and they never ask to be sexually assaulted.

If (God forbid) it happened to your daughter do you think she would share with you and your judgmental bilge? Or would she be ashamed and be quiet.

deb

Not going to have a pop

Quite often people dont read the entire thread when they post and on some topics thats not the end of the world

I would suggest however that you check the ops posts and maybe a page or two at the end as well as the beginning so you dont accidentally look like an arse

I have been on even light hearted threads that have turned half way through so i do try and be careful