To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

polar....there are clearly a lot of women on here that this is a huge issue for. This is clearly a problem and people want to start saying #itsnotokay.........As with the recent Kelly Oxford twitter feed that went ballistic in the states last week and was getting 50+ tweets every minute of women in the states that rejected being harassed as normal

If you think this is a horrible post - stop reading it (it's optional you know..) and consider yourself lucky rather than implying other women are doing something wrong and you're not.

Some utterly revolting victim blaming on this thread.

I've never been touched by a man in a nightclub. I've still be raped.

Had a drunken one night stand with an old school friend of my flatmate's at a party we had. Months later, flatmate had moved out, I was living alone, heard a knock at the door early hours of Boxing Day and it was said one night stand asking if he could crash on sofa as he had no money for a cab. Agreed (reluctantly) but explained that I had been suffering from D&V virus all Christmas and asked him to be quiet as I was still poorly and needed sleep. Woke up to find him having sex with me, asked him to stop but his response was along the lines of 'well you liked it last time' (which is the only reason I never reported it tbh). I hit him a few times, screamed at him to get off me as what he was doing was rape and that I was going to ring the police. He stopped, apologised and had the nerve to ask for a lift home. Stupid thing is, I was so desperate to get him out of my flat that I agreed!
Hope he caught my D&V bug and spent the next three days on the toilet with a bucket on his knee, the bastard.

PolarBearLover14

You are revolting ... good for you btw that you haven't been victim to any of this ... you are a true hero you stupid narrow minded idiot

I think i may have a problem

I see loads of posts all over mumsnet and my first response is usually

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!

But i keep it in my head and write something polite, or flippant

One day i am just going to let fly

Why do you think OP is asking this PolarBear? Is it perhaps because society has a huge problem and there's a conspiracy of silence thanks to opinions like yours and, looking at this thread, woman are desperate to talk about it?

What you have also basically said is that it's okay for a man in a club to assault you a little bit, but you only deem him in the wrong if he continues to assault you some more if you object.
Have a bit of a think about that. It might reveal why you feel so defensive.

OPs post wasn't horrible but yours certainly was. Textbook victim blaming.

Yes, I would agree that probably most women have had some instance of this, but never reported or told parents etc.

I am another one that has remembered more since reading

I forgot the guy that sexually assaulted me when I was asleep
I forgot the guy that flashed into my bedroom window (street level)

how the fuck could I have forgotton that!

No I have never been assaulted. Of course men whistled or came on to me when younger but no more than I flirted with them that's not a crime. I was always careful not to be a drunk or put myself into situations where my intentions would be misconstrued so I have never been in a position to get into bother. I have taught and continue to teach my daughter to behave the same way.

Deblet and the woman who have disclosed being assaulted as children? What position did they put themselves in?
There's something odd going on here. Every person who is saying they haven't been assaulted has also been hugely unpleasant, judgemental and victim blaming.
I wonder why that is?

Weird, eh.

Also deblet be careful. With your attitude if anything does happen to your daughters they will suffer in silence rather than tell you.

I just have to say that I posted to say I had never been assaulted. In no way am I disbelieving or victim blaming anyone who has.

Good for you, deblet

I sincerely hope that smug attitude never comes back to bite you on the arse and that 24/7 supervision of your daughters you will have to undertake doesn't limit your life too much

Fair point rainbow, you didn't. How about we say most people who say they haven't have been victim blamey instead :)

I have never had my intentions misconstrued or been assaulted while drunk

Neither had my 12 year old daughter

what a bunch of sanctimonious twaddle from deb there

How was me getting into bed with my two week old putting myself in a position where my intentions could be misconstrued Deblet?

What are you all talking about? What smug attitude? I have not mentioned a child being assaulted because that is not the same thing as the list the OP wrote its a totally different situation.

Honestly, how can people read the thread and post things like the above?

I haven't had much happen to me. I was groped on the breast while walking home from the cinema one summer evening. And, you know, I've been debating with myself whether mine was even worth posting as it is one event and so minor.

Also, an observation: None of the men who have posted that it happens to them too have expressed any sympathy for women's experiences, but for every one of their posts, at least one woman has said that it should not have happened to them. I don't know what to make of that, I just noticed it.

Fair enough Beyond

Threads move on deb

I noticed that isay

Nothing that has happened to me has been awful but it just shows how endemic it is if we post even our "minor" ones

I don't even drink. Like. One glass of wine once in a blue moon. And I live rurally and always have to drive so I can't at all if I'm out. So my intentions in a nightclub would never be misconstrued. At all.

Fuck me that post is depressing.

Were my 'intentions misconstrued' when I was gang raped at a house party?

Because I drink fairly frequent-ish, but that only happened once. Weird, as you'd expect I'm putting out 'signals' every time.