To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

Agree read the thread titlle

Auser I am so sorry.

This just shows what we already know...

Men don't get it.

We do. We get it. We know how it feels and how it impinges on every minute of your life.

And I'm sorry this has upset you so much.

I have never given flowers on mn, so you are my first.

while embarrassing and unpleasant he was not scared.

That's the key!

I've been assaulted so many times I can't even remember, grew up in a country where this behaviour was just a way of life, DM even taught me to just get on with it, it's not worth the fight..... Cant believe the things I put up with even as a child!!
If I could and if I could get away with it, I would have revisited each moment, would get a machete and cut off the 'big boy' there and then!

Auser (and others) this thread has overwhelmingly been about women supporting each other, talking about their shit.

I'm sorry that the one or two men who have come into it have added to your distress.

Think of the women as a protective circle of elephants (Google it, it's what elephants do) who have your back against any interlopers 🐘

It would be appropriate if the men reported their posts and had them deleted I think

I love that, Boundaries



New logo

Love it, life

Elephants are matriarchal too, aren't they?

🐘🐘🐘

Some fine examples of whataboutery on this thread

No big surprises there. Some men are just so uncomfortable with women sharing their negative experiences at the hands of some men they have to personalise it. They have to pipe up with "it happens to men too".

I am not going to waste my time explaining what others have so eloquently said why men muscling in here is so jarring, but I will say...

#weseeyou

They are Beyond.

needaplan

That's a really good link

I was raped repeatedly as a young child by a male relative.
Never reported to the police.
A relative was told and they responded by calling me a wicked child.

Loads of times, although now I have gone over 40 it seems to have stopped. More likely I am just a bit hermit like. Saying that I was raped in my own home when I was 25 and had 2small children (not actually there at the time) by someone I knew, never reported it.
Serious sexual assault age 16 by family member, never reported it.
Abuse from young age by mothers husband, reported it in my late 20s, not believed.
Groped by shop owner when I had Saturday job as a young girl.
Groped in taxi rank at age 27, never reported it.
Loads of other times too many to mention

I am rarely if ever properly angry about stuff in the internet but I am really. ANGRY about the men making it all about them on this thread.

Have you absolutely no awareness of when is a good time to shut the fuck up,and keep it shut? Thus is not the thread for that.

Of course all sexual harassment is wrong. Always.

But this thread was specifically about women's shared experience

Would you men come on to a thread about childbirth and talk about your piles or prostate?

Attempted rape by a stranger aged 13.
Wanked on in a train.
Wanked at in a woods by a guy while walking alone.
Groped and catcalled lots of times.
My experiences are quite average among my friends and some have had far worse happen.
Men who are seriously trying to compare the way women navigate the world with some drunk woman pinching their arse can fuck off.

I think a fairer comparison would be if the men were talking about their experiences of being anally raped by a man/men of a much bigger build than them. None of the men have mentioned that though?

My exh is 6'4" and I'm 5'8" BUT he weighed twice as much as me so one punch knocked me down

Having your knob grabbed in a club is not the same as violent rape

I am rarely if ever properly angry about stuff in the internet but I am really ANGRY about the men making it all about them on this thread. Have you absolutely no awareness of when is a good time to shut the fuck up,and keep it shut? This is not the thread for that

This

So many experiences.

Too many times to mention since being a young teen: wolf whistling, cat calling (hey darling, nice tits and so on..then being called a stuck up cow/frigid bitch when you ignore it), being groped/grabbed while out in pubs and clubs.

Most recent example, I stopped and leant against a wall to check my phone and a group of teenage boys sat in a parked car started hooting and yelling at me.

Also common and not an assault but irritating all the same...men trying to get your attention and engage you in conversation when you clearly want to be left alone.

More seriously - as a teen, sleazy and inappropriate remarks about my developing body from a family member. Repeated unwanted touching/groping and being coerced into sex by my XP. Being subjected to a painful and degrading date rape.

i could go on.

Auser

The comments about male on female violence being part of a much greater system of patriarchal oppression and power structures really are so vitally important. We cannot move sexual assault from the wider context.

I was groped by a woman once. I know she shouldn't have done it, and I'm not trying to make any generalisations, but I can say that personally I did not experience that as being in any way intimidating or scary. I'm not defending or minimizing it, but it's simply not (imo) comparable to being groped by a man.

Another story: when I was 12 my technologies teacher was absolutely blatant about being a pervert, and would openly grope and make sexual comments in front of the entire class (all-girls school). This was done 100% openly and shamelessly. He never touched me because I was so openly hostile towards him, but groped and undressed so many other girls in front of me and in front of the rest of the class. I talked a bunch of the other girls into writing a letter to the head teacher saying "Mr Smith won't stop groping our breasts and making sexual comments" which maybe 15 girls signed. The three girls who delivered the letter got detention and the letter vanished. Not a single word was ever said. And this was not even that long ago. That demonstrates how the patriarchy controls women and supports predators.

This is such a depressing thread but thank you for starting it.

Another one here with too many examples to know where to start listing them, most in my teens but still occasionally now in my 30s (although these days i will not put up with it under any cicumstances and will cause a scene) being groped, shoved about, trapped in to confined spaces, couple of incidents of being asleep and finding somone trying to climb into bed with me. I don't think there's any real appreciation of how widespread the problem is. It's a problem that men need to tackle as well as women. I don't believe by any stretch that it's anything but a minority of men that behave this way but other men need the confidence to tell their mates that this isn't on when they behave like this. Those that do it need shaming into not doing it in addition to criminal consequences.

I wholeheartedly agree that men don't get it.

My rapist was 6ft 4, I'm 5ft 2 - I was absolutely terrified and just froze.

Auser thank you for sharing your experiences on here. I for one appreciate your bravery in speaking out.

Actually, that goes for all the women on here who've shared their stories