To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

" I don't know any women who haven't experienced the same"
"Most women I know have experienced something on the list"

Seriously? You talk to all the women you know about this? I don't know how can you be so sure of whether the women you know have or haven't experienced what's on the list unless you now go and ask all of them and read them the list? Some people who've known me for 20 years wouldn't be able to tick off that list on my behalf.

Yes all of these . And I'm not into parties or pubs and have never been clubbing.

However I have walked down the street, used public transport , walked through public parks in broad daylight , been in employment, studied at university, dated men and been to other people's homes. Which is where all these things happened.

1dad I don't think most men have experienced fear of being attacked on a daily basis whenever they walk anywhere on their own at night or been groped by a woman who could rape them if she wanted. Men's experience of women having physical power over them is just not the same as vice Versa. Any instances of rape by a woman of a man who got an erection must be so few and far between. It's not something men fear and have to plan their behaviour, clothes, route home, who they talk to etc around. When a woman has pestered you or cat called you, have you ever felt afraid?

Sexual assault happens to men by women I'm sure, but not the majority of men.

I find the question interesting because it is addressed to half the population but I think that in the broadness of the question most of the population male and female would answer yes. In the same way that is you asked has anyone been on public transport of any kind.

On top of the things I have experienced I could also add a lot more to the list like tones of remarks made to me by women over the years that I have (and believe rightly so) put down to friendly batter rather than harassment. But I can see depending on the way I perceived these comments I could put them down to sexual assault under this question.

Miranda i can (sadly) speak for most of my friends because we talk about these things,or i have witnessed some while with them (unwanted club groping by example)

1dad

Do you really not accept that male/assault harassment towards women is a much, much bigger problem than vice versa?

Furrydog

the way I see it is that there were things I would prefer hadn't happened, but they did, and I am certainly not going to let them ruin the rest of my life.

^^^THIS!!!!!

No, I can't honestly say that I have never been treated innapropriately by a man.

Me and my friend were flashed when we were about 13. We told my mum and she called the police but I don't think they ever caught him.

When I was late teens/early twenties and catching the bus home from Work a bloke regularly had his hands in his pockets fondling himself which was creepy, everyone made a good job of ignoring him!

I also reported a bloke to the police when he used to stand in his bedroom window wanking when I parked my car in the mornings on my way to work. Did it to several of my other female colleagues too. The police prosecuted him and we had to give evidence against him and He was found guilty. I remember him being at court with his wife and I couldn't look at her. I wonder if they are still together!!

I seem to attract perverts!!

Littlewing I know exactly what you mean.

heateallthebuns the question here is not about rape. Its about the whole board brush stroke of what is described as sexual assault in the question.

So if for instance we are now calling sexual assault catcalling I would say yes a lot of men have been sexually assaulted.

Op said assault and harassment

So a lot of men (in your opinion, i have no idea of the statistics) have been harassed

In a thread which specifically asks about women's experiences, I don't know why the experiences of men are actually relevant.

Whataboutery is the lowest form of debate - "X happens too, therefore why are you complaining about Y?"

Skimpy clothes have nothing to do with it. I've been assaulted wearing a cycling helmet and full on waterproof clothing.

I was wolf whistled at last week followed by them singing 'sexy thing while I walked past' , It made me seething angry mainly in part because I knew if I said anything they would probably be rude about my age (mid forties). Then I was so fucked off at not saying anything I got cross at myself. I am now going to contact the firm though and tell them that we no longer will be interested in the building firm tendering for a large bid, because their staff are dickheads.

a man sat opposite me on a metro in newcastle, like the Underground, and after a few stops I realised he had his penis flopped out of his zip. I was 13. I had no idea what to do - he was looking at me, as I reacted, blushed, I must have looked shocked. I got off at the next stop even though it wasn't my stop.

Another man flashed me in a bus in the same city; I was about 14 then. I told the bus driver, he stopped the bus, the police came. I remember being so ashamed of myself.

Then when I was about 24 I was walking through a park in the afternoon, a summer day, and out of the bushes stepped another fucking flasher. That time, I yelled at him and he ran off.

When I was about 22 I was living in a bedsit with my then DP. We had a uni friend staying the night on the sofa, same room. We all three went out and got drunk. I went to bed with my DP. When I woke up, the 'friend' was in bed with me and not my DP. The 'friend' was trying to kiss me.

A taxi driver took me home from a party, and asked if he could have sex with me.

And lots of ''cheer up loves', whistles, cat calls.

(Why do I feel I'm being sucked in by the deliberately obtuse...?)

1DAD,

The question was out to women because this is a problem for women. It is endemic and is a symptom of a world which is largely run by and for men, who feel entitled to opinions and access to women's bodies.

It is just not the same. And I have pointed out why very calmly a few times now.

You may have been catcalled, but that is not threatening to you.

You may have been groped, but that is not threatening to you.

The question is relevant to women because it is part of a much wider problem about men's attitudes to women.

Can you see that, yet?

1DAD you seem convinced that the male experience of sexual harassment/assault is very similar to the female experience.

That is simply not true, and to take that position is to minimise the severity of the situation.

Have I misunderstood what you are saying?

Probably virtually everyone - male and female - has experienced some sort of (at best) low level sexual harassment, at some point in their lives.

The physicality of the person doing it - i.e. whether they're larger and/or stronger than you - has a huge impact on your experience.

Most men are able to overpower most women.

Thank you again under and Portia
Haven't cried about it for years but seeing it in a wave of what everyone else has suffered tonight - womenkind - has just made me feel pure sorrow.

That was probably worse than losing my virginity age 15 to a rapist who made me smoke a homemade bong of weed and gagged my mouth against screaming. The emotional abuse of someone I was in a 'relationship' with was worse than that.

How can we protect our daughters?! I didn't have an answer then and I still don't now.

I'd say we're saying cat calling is harassment rather than assault. But the same actions done to different people have a different affect. Women are frequently assaulted, groped etc as you can see by this thread. So cat calling is more scary for a woman than a man. A man knows the woman is very unlikely to hurt him if she is cat calling him, a woman often fears she could be hurt if a man cat calls her if she is on her own in a quiet area or at night. The fear of being hurt or touched by men pervades women's day to day life.

soulfuleyes what I am saying is it is a problem across the genders. There is a need for education and change for all. You cant address the it only a problem for one not the other.

That's like saying if there is more crime in Manchester than Cardiff we should make Manchester sort its crime levels out and ignore the problems being caused by Cardiff and the effects it having.

Why should we ignore it when the genders are reversed?

assaulted by the father of the children I used to babysit for. Feeding me brandy at 15, pushing me onto his bed, shoving his tongue down my throat, same in the car. I was petrified and thought it was all my fault. Sexually harassed at work with vile verbal comments. Several incidents of indecent exposure.
Sexual innuendos from two driving instructors... I never asked for any of it. Just brought up not to question adults.

Because men are bigger and stronger than women, 1DAD.

It's a different experience.

In a thread which specifically asks about women's experiences, I don't know why the experiences of men are actually

They are not.
But you cannot discuss womens experiences without including men. EVER

Pisses me off no end. I am a women. I should be allowed to discuss my experiences without having to include men. I have no idea how a man would feel because i am a fucking women!!!