To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

What is rape?
According to the law, only a man can commit rape (as the penetration has to be with a penis). However, both women and men can be raped. A rape can occur within a relationship or within a marriage.
The law says:
‘A’ is guilty of rape if:
he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of ‘B’ with his penis; ‘B’ does not consent to the penetration, and
‘A’ does not reasonably believe that ‘B’ consents

Can you imagine? Nearly every woman that reported rape would be sent to prison.

Loads !

A drunken 'date rape'
A persistent groping and scary teenager
A peado dirty call when I was 6
A groping colleague

Plus flasher and cat calling - of course

And

Several times been groped in nightclubs as a teenager or twenties.

Yes. I was 15. Had a man aged 50+ follow me home from the post office, try to convince me to go with him and get in his car, and then, when I wouldn't, push me against a wall, press himself against me and grab at my breasts. I was afraid he was going to rape me.

Looking back the worst thing is how polite I was to him - I kept saying 'I'm sorry, I have to go home' and didn't feel as if I could be assertive in any way despite what was happening.

When he let go of me for a moment I ran home in a panic, told my family and they treated it as a total non-event, like - that's just what men do. It wasn't that long ago, it was this century!

Lots of other unwanted touching, cat-calls, comments, etc - but this is the only thing I look back on and think no, I was assaulted there.

Bmbini, I know, it's shocking. There's loads of info on that website that can counter any misogynistic bullshit they come out with though :-)

Of course women can rape men, just like men can rape men and women can rape women. It's sex without consent, regardless.

Sex is intercourse. Rape is intercoyrse without consent. As in penis in vagina.
A women does not have a penis thetegore cannot rape a man.
Sexual asdult however does cover all unwanted physical attention other tha piv.

Maddie are you really this dense?

Oh yes and of course whistling and cat calling from the age of 14/15 onwards. stopped in the last few years.

"Misrepresenting" the facts.

Good for her Portia - and I hope the school take action against him and realise your daughter had every right to respond as vigorously as she did.

(And I bet he'll not be so quick to behave like that again)

Oh i actually forgot about this. Two years ago,a guy in a car driving slowly at my pace beeping and cat calling. I ignored it. When i got to cross the street,he swerved and stopped the car in front of me. He. Was very "naice" and "complimenting" telling me all about how he like my swagger and do i want to meet up. I was fucking terrified.
And the guy asking for directions outside my garden,leaving,then turning around,trying to oush the gate and telling me i'm cute. Sorry couldn't muster any gratefulness for that "compliment" either.

I sincerely hope the woman-haters and rape apologists on this thread are MRAs and RedPillers in disguise, on a field trip from under the nearest bridge, and not genuine MNers.

On the subject of behaviour and victim blaming, I've been out drinking, clubbing, worn skimpy clothes, walked in dodgy areas alone late at night, etc. etc. loads of times and nothing's ever happened to me. Counting up all the times I've been sexually assaulted or harassed (or witnessed sexual assault), they happened at: school, home, church hall, relative's house, cinema in the middle of the day, a posh fundraising benefit gala, a park in the middle of the day. None of those times was I drunk or wearing anything skimpy.

So fuck off saying women should curb their own behaviour to avoid assault.

I'd be surprised at anyone who hasn't (it's an easier life to forget).

Rape
Sexual assault
Unwanted touching
Work colleague groping in taxi
Friends boyfriends coming onto me
Wolf whistling
Attempted coercion
Stalking

I wouldn't feel safe alone with any man other than dp.

GP as well
Standing "joke" in my home town that whatever your symptom was he would always ask you to remove your top

how many of you/your friends have lead a man on and then accused them of harassment?

That would be never. In my life. Nor have I ever pinched some random man on the bum (occasionally do it to my husband as a joke).

However.
Pinched on the bum on a tram when I was eleven, by a stranger.
Raped by an ex-boyfriend.
So many sexual assaults - breasts grabbed in the street, horrible comments, blah blah blah.
I find it really difficult to believe there are women who've escaped it, tbh. Everyone I know, without exception, has experienced it.

I've never been sexually assaulted. Been sexually harassed and sexually abused though.

Wouldn't know where too start...how sad that I can't just bring up one solitary incident.

That awareness of your fragility and vulnerability stays with you always. It can be paralysing

2kids2dogs you're right. And it's also exhausting. Checking routes home before you go out for the safest one, standing on the crowded night bus, even though there's seats upstairs because it might not be safe, walking the long way round even if it makes you late, crossing the road because there's a man walking behind you, working out mentally whether its better to keep walking or get your keys out in case you're attacked. And that's just one night out.

NotYado That is a good question. That probably raises other questions about gender differences, perception and upbringing.

Never felt scared per se in terms that I could not defend my self. 6Ft, ex forces and generally confident.

Catcalling - didn't bother me too much. I am quite confident in my self that I am more than just an object in uniform. Their appreciation of my physical appearance didn't undermine my confidence in mental abilities or non visible attributes. A Bit embarrising.

Being come on to by other peoples wife/girlfriends is very, very uncomfortable. It is indeed horrible. Its a situation I do not wish to be in ever again. To be honest I don't know why this has happened to me thrice. Once when I was married. Not nice. Don't quite know the words to describe how unsettling it was with it.

Being groped is annoying. It happens a lot in night clubs. I think once the drink hits women think the rules go out the window and the can just touch and do what they like without permission. We seem to live in a culture were its OK to do it to boys. Hey imgain the response if I had have gone to complain to the bouncers that some women were touching me up without consent? To be honest that has never been something affected me too deeply, just a part of a night out, the shit you put up with. But it is shit the women think they can just touch and its ok because your a man, just meat.

As to heavy come on/coercion/mind games from ex's. Well that is annoying when you simply not in the mood. But sometimes sex drives are miss matched on occasions. When you are married or been together for a bit yes sometime its annoying them trying to grab you, put pressure on you or touch you intimately even after you have said no the first time. But I am hardly going to hit the roof, call my lover scum of the earth and call the police. They are being selfish and not respecting my wants at that time but I wouldn't put my lover out to dry for being a bit of pest.

Like I said I think most men have had at least some of this happens. We just put up with it I guess. I do think we get a lot of stick of being inherently abusive when women are just as capable of being pests. I don't think men are a wear of it happening half the time. I wasn't till I read the question and thought shit my answer to a lot of them is yes.

Men can't be raped by women in the strictly legal sense.

They can be sexually assaulted.,

I am going to stick my neck out here, though, and make a claim unsupported by hard data that women don't seriously sexually assault men nearly as much as the other way round.

And can an averagely-built man really feel that threatened by the average woman?

What could they actually do to him? They might make him feel uncomfortable and violated - but not in fear of his life.

That, for me, is where the difference lies.

If a woman comes to the door asking to read a man's electricity metre, is his first thought 'I'd better not let her in as I'm here on my own'? Because I live alone and that happens to me.

I had a carpet fitter once try it on with me when he was fitting a carpet and I was alone in the house. It's scary. I had to call my ex-husband just so I had someone on the phone the whole time.

That is not normal for men. It is, unfortunately, normal for women.

Lass and oblo, have you never been beeped at or cat called by men even walking down the street? Or has that happened and you don't consider it harassment?

No, I have never been beeped at , wolf-whistled at or cat called. If it's relevant, I'm 57, have lived in cities since I was 18 and in my younger days,not boasting, but I think was probably very attractive.

I'm not calling you liars, if you haven't you haven't

I would hope not.

Greenwood
Actually no. Rape means penetration by a penis - look it up in UK law. Oh, and then go away.

And any heterosexual intercourse requires an orifice (to put it crudely) and an ERECT penis. I'm not sure that a reluctant man could maintain an erection.

The only ways in which I can envisage a male being raped by a female are statutory rape, where the male is under the age of consent, but is a participant; or where a woman is in a position go power and forces"seduction". (Comparatively few woman have this power.)

I would add that I am not a physiologist and if I am wrong I would be very interested to learn how these male rapes by woman can occur.

I also agree that skimpy clothes have nothing to do with it.

I did volunteer work in a conservative country and was harassed while wearing a long skirt and covering my hair. Men who think of women this way don't really care what they're wearing. It's just an excuse.

Catcalled;flashed at; groped; followed by completely random men who I didn't know at all.
As well as coercive and vaguely threatening experiences with men I did know.

I sincerely hope the woman-haters and rape apologists on this thread are MRAs and RedPillers in disguise, on a field trip from under the nearest bridge, and not genuine MNers.

Sorry, when i see some comments on here i do check, and quite often they have been on here for ages and are posting quite 'rationally' on other threads

Having said that i have a friend with similar views...i just avoid this type of conversation . Or at least put forward my view and change the subject quickly