To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

[Lighthouseturquoise]

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

I hate wolf whistling etc. When I was 15 they were building new houses at the end of my street and I had to walk past the building site in my school uniform everyday. Everyday without fail I would have something inappropriate shouted at me. It got that I was too scared to walk past anymore so I told my mum, wish I'd done it sooner. She went down there and tore them all new arseholes and they never looked at me again but I remember how demeaning it was. Also agree that some men will whistle at anything with a vagina. When I was around 10 days postpartum and out walking with my baby, big wobbly belly, no make up, hair a mess etc etc I was whistled at and heard something like 'shows yer tits'

Thanks for posting OP. I've had ALL of these except the one about a friend's boyfriend coming on to me.
I went to the police once when a complete stranger on a bus grabbed me by the p**y Trump-style.
An old boss was talking to me after I'd had an upset that was affecting my work and then thought I was coming on to him and wouldn't take no for an answer.
I've also had a man wanking on me on public transport like a pp said and all manner of comments. I've had ENOUGH. As I saw on another thread here I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE STILL PROTESTING THIS SHIT.

The most important thing is to know what to say and have your protest ready. Since I was trained to teach children what to say, I can now shout "NO" without thinking "about what people will think, what will they say, am I allowed to shout... "

witsender

Yes. Imagine a world in which men came on a thread and reported the indignities, harassment and outright abuse they'd experienced from women. I wouldn't happen.

happy

Of course they aren't all arseholes. Not even most of them

What depresses me is that this is all still going on in Universities now, 30 years later. And it's because it's happening to women, not to men. That is why we need feminism, as wit sender says

And yes op I've been assaulted a number of times and have never reported any of them as there's just no point really sad as it is. I think some men truly don't even think grabbing women uninvited is assault. When I've protested in the past I've been told to 'fuck off you cunt' etc.

Yes I have.

I was groped on the bus by a pensioner aged 16 - I reported it to the police but they were completely nonchalant about it. Asked if I was a virgin and, when I said yes, said that was why I was upset but once I was a bit more sexually experienced is realise it wasn't a big deal. I felt completely humiliated by it.

My first boyfriend user to coerce and guilt trip me into sex - he never forced himself on me but he was happy to have sex with me even if I consented in tears or otherwise made it clear I was only saying yes to try and keep the peace.

I was raped in my early twenties whilst overseas by a local. I didn't report as it was a country with very poor gender equality and I was on a night out, although I'd only had a couple of drinks it was a country where it is socially unacceptable for women to be drunk so I didn't think the police would take me seriously.

I don't know why but unfortunately I do seem to attract bad men - perhaps I give off a vulnerable vibe or perhaps I am bad at being assertive. I tend to be a people pleaser and I freeze in situations which I think makes it worse, until I had my DC I would often get faced with harassment (cat-calling, bottom pinching etc) in the street. I am fortunate to have a very sensitive and loving DP but outside of him I am generally quite wary of men now.

notyoda men being involved with feminism helps I think. If your own peer group are telling you what you are doing is wrong it has an effect.

Yep, been thinking about this all day today.
Went back to a guys house with a friend and another guy on my prom night. Got really drunk, fell asleep and woke up to the guy who's house it was raping me. Never told anyone.
Exbf raped me on holiday when drunk which resulted in me being pregnant. Didn't tell anyone.
Went back to a hotel room after kissing a guy for a drink, he got really aggressive and I had to run away with him aggressively chasing me.

Been out when a teen and woke up in bed with a complete stranger who I had no memory of going back to his flat.

I'm each instance that happened to me drink was always involved.
I just accepted it at the time.
Been reading lots with the recent story and thinking how what happened to that poor girl could easily have happened to me many times.
The whole story has been making me feel really upset and bringing up a lot of past memories.

Unicorns

My poor love. But they aren't all tossers. I got lucky and have a lovely husband.

I hope that one day you'll meet someone lovely and be able to trust, too.

I got yhe gist of Madfies deleted comment.

I was 28. Married. Sober. He was my friend of 7 years. Yeah i totally asked to be raped when all i was acutually doing was trying to get a drunk friend home safe.
People lime you are tge reason more women do not repirt sexual asdults and rape.
Hang your head in shame.

2kids, yes, I came back to address that actually. This just makes physical the repression that women face every day. The apologising for existing, for taking up space. Fuck that.

God this is making me angry. Just remembering all the horrible stuff that has been done to me because I'm a woman....and reading all the horrible stuff that has happened to you all. 🍷🍹🍺🌺🌸🌼🌷🌹for you all.

"Which bit was not victim blaming? "

All of it? I'll concede that a lot of the trigger words were in there, but - to me at least - didn't accuse anybody of anything.

I can't seem to find the original post any more, so maybe you can say what it was you think was said. I might be wrong.

I don't want to derail this thread, btw, happy to do this over PM if better.

The original has been deleted by MNHQ, DamageControl, that's why you find it. That sort of post has no place on a thread like this.

Touched in a car by an older friend of the family aged 12

Been groped more times that I can count in clubs/dance floors/parties

Flashed twice. Once aged 12 once at 16

Was having consensual sex with a ONS when his flat mate walked in the room and wouldn't leave. Kept asking his mate if he could join in. Stood there for 20 minutes whilst I was naked and wouldn't leave.

Dancing with a man in a club and he grabbed the back of my head and forced his tongue into my mouth

Been catcalled, whistled at more times than I can count

NOPE NEVER. But I've never also got so pissed that I let blokes assault or indecently touch me.

Pretty much victim blaming, no?

damage

I didnt see the post, but i would think that if MNHQ have deleted it its because they felt it was out of order/victim blaming

I was raped several times by my exp in my early 20's. In my mid 30's I had a drink spiked and was raped by a client of the company I worked for. As a bar maid at 17 years I once had my nipples tweaked as I reached up to get a glass. I once was walking out of a cinema and someone shoved their hand up my skirt and squeezed me hard between the legs. In addition I have had various minor harasment type incidents. Most of my friends have had something happen.

I've never been a victim of it myself. I don't want to say I'm proud of that, because I know assault can happen to any of us anywhere and at any time. I've just been lucky I think. I have been with DP 20+ years and even in my hedonistic days guys seemed to respect me when I said no. Maybe I was just lucky.

I'm glad I don't have girls because I'd be so bloody worried for them, it's such an awful and shit world out there.

(I don't think horns beeping and wolf whistling is assault though. Harassment yes, but not assault.)

Yes, I have.

And yet I never thought of what I experienced as sexual assault or harassment until the Twitter thing sparked by Trump - a woman asking the first time you were sexually harassed and the replies.

It's shocking what we normalise and/or minimise.

Yebutnobut sorry I took your post literally, it can be difficult to gauge the tone sometimes in text.

Awesome if you're still reading I'm sorry if the thread has upset you, I don't want to upset anyone but sometimes I think these things need to be talked about.

Recent events have made me so so angry, not because I don't accept the verdict but because people seem so concerned about some scummy mans 'reputation' than all the woman that suffer abuse and harassment every day and never even report it.

As a 9 year old girl a teenage male tried to put his fingers up inside my bikini bottoms whilst I was given a shoulder ride from him in a swimming pool. I remember not feeling comfortable with him but didn't think of even mentioning it to anyone. I hope if anything like that happens to my children they would tell me. Reading these has made me feel so sad. To all of you women who have gone through just hideous things, I send love x

I have experienced more than one of the points on your list.

I think you were lucky bowie

I have been with dh since i was 17

At 13 i was groped while on holiday with my parents, no didnt seem to work

On holiday with dh at 26 i was groped...while he was holding my hand

Its a difficult subject to even try and talk about on the page as it were and none of my experiences were 'bad'

You'll also find hundreds of men, groped, screeched at by women on the streets of many an inner city town, their arses squeezed by woman on the way to the loo with their cackling girlfriends etc in a pub on a Friday night. You'll also find men, equally as drunk as women, they have sex. The man gets charged, never the woman, does the man get asked if he gave consent??