AIBU to smack this intrusive hand away?

[jayisforjessica]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with twins, and I'm the first to admit it: I'm getting to be a big girl! I do have quite a big round belly.

I have this group of friends who tend to be quite touchy feely, much more so than me personally. They're not bad people, but I've always sort of made my boundaries clear: If I come in for a hug, I want one, but until then, please assume I don't. And this has never been an issue. I used my words, asked for what I needed, and they willingly gave it.

Until now.

Somehow, being pregnant has opened the floodgates of what appears to be their thinly veiled desire to pet me. Every time I hang out with these friends, I have to tell them over and over, please, do not touch my belly. Please, I don't want to be petted and stroked. Please, I do love you, but I need you to keep your hands to yourself. Most of them have been great, but one woman (C, for argument's sake) just wouldn't let up, insisting that she was "only showing some love for [her] pregnant sister" and once again rubbing my belly despite my repeated clear and direct requests that she stopped.

I slapped her hand away.

She was outraged and immediately went into pout and sulk mode. I, on the other hand, think she's being completely unreasonable and childish. I TOLD her multiple times I didn't want to be touched. I TOLD her that I needed her to keep her hands to herself. She CHOSE to ignore those requests. It's my feeling that she deserved what she got (a little slap on the hand).

Our friends are somewhat divided. Some of them agree with me - that C is notorious for not respecting boundaries and they're proud of me for sticking up for myself. Others say "well, C's just like that, there was no call to hit her". Well, to that I say, I was not the one who made the first (clearly unwanted) physical contact. Was I?

For the record, this isn't the first time I've had issues with C. She has similar boundary issues around children "Oh, give Aunty C a hug" (whether the child wants to or not). DS, from the age of about 2-6, was afraid of her - would literally ask me to pick him up rather than face her.

If anyone needs to apologise it's her!

Hahhahahaha
Send back.. Well you'll be waiting a long fucking time then!

What have your other friends said?

Wow c really is sly isn't she and completely not getting that touching you was out of order. I would just ignore her and block her. Be civil if you see her and acknowledge but otherwise ignore.

I don't think she sounds like the kind of person who will ever apologise or admit she was wrong.

She's completely delusional!

Can you do one of those non apologies?

I am sorry for swatting your hand away from my belly because you were too rude and ignorant to respect my requests not to keep touching me?

Yy post that on Faceache

Possibly a culture barrier with the terminology. I'm a kiwi and didn't once assume you actually hurt her in anyway. I think you're perfectly within your rights to have pushed her hand away. Just keep doing what you're doing, keep it open and transparent with the group.

Say what Magoria said!!

Is she really really thick?

C is clearly not going to be a part of your old group for much longer if she persists in such deluded behaviour!

Cora sort of what i said before! I personally wouldn't put up with such behaviour and not see the toucher in a group or insist she mends her ways!

Nah she's a knob. Don't apologise.

Does she have any redeeming qualities, and what do the rest of the group think about ditching her?

Sounds like you need some distance from C. Firstly your son. Don't teach your kids that you'll stand by and let people manhandle them when they have done the right thing and used their words. In terms of your belly, was walking away or asking her to leave an option?

Yanbu! Not a bit, I'm very like you, more of a poke you with a stick than give you a hug kind of girl!! I only hug my fiancé and little boy. She's being an idiot and very disrespectful and if she does it again I'd slap her again!

i3.cpcache.com/product/1227095837/hands_off_baby_belly_maternity_tshirt.jpg?color=Black&height=460&width=460&qv=90

Get one of these!!! You are well within your rights!! Just because someone gets a boob job doesn't mean people are entitled to cop a feel, same with a baby bump!! She touched you and you touched her, purely tit for tat!!

Answer is simple.......your body.....your rules

You did the right thing, its YOUR body after all, if a bloke grabbed your boobs you would no doubt o the same, Some people just have to get into your personal space. Depends who you are, and them, my daughters and I tweek each others bums for instance.In an ideal world, she would have taken notice of you telling her not to touch!

She is just lucky it wasn't her face.

I've just read this whole thread and can't believe C is wanting an apology?!

OP you shouldn't need to explain yourself, you've been very clear what you mean by slapping her away and that your child was reaching for a hot stove! I'd do the same in your position.

Fuck sake she really doesn't get it does she.

Well done OP for standing your ground!

Fuck sake she really doesn't get it does she.

Well done OP for standing your ground!

YANBU, OP.

C is clearly delusional. She's been horrible about your DS too. Stand your ground and don't apologise.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

YANU at all. Glad you stood your ground.

I don't understand why some folk think a woman's pregnant belly is public property to grope and fondle.

I really don't get some posters here. A swat in self-defence is a perfectly reasonable reaction, particularly after giving many warnings. Likewise with slapping a child's hand off a burning stove.

Not all physical contact is bad. It is bad when unwanted and unprovoked. Which was exactly what Aunty Cunt did - do something unwanted and unprovoked.

And don't you apologise, OP!!!!

Get a belly sign that says "Do not touch". Or, nick a "Do not disturb" sign from a hotel and stick in on your tummy 😂