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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for help with losing weight? (title edited by MNHQ)

248 replies

oneaddiction · 11/10/2016 19:50

I've deliberately posted here as I probably need harsh responses.

My mother was an alcoholic, drank herself to death when I was very young.

I am not a boozer. I am an eater, and I'm killing myself. I have no idea how to stop. We can have no food at all in this house because I will eat it. I have even taken food out of the bins and eaten it.

I've binge eaten for YEARS (since I was a kid really) but with periods of starvation in between so never got that big, then got pregnant and the only thing that stopped me feeling sick all the time was food. So I ate it.

Now I'm colossal. I still can't stop.

I'm worried I'm going to end up like my mother.

A few things - I won't go to WW or SW, please don't suggest, and I don't think counselling will help. I guess I need to find willpower but HOW. I am looking for stories form people who DID stop smoking or drinking or whatever?

OP posts:
Lalaloopsyscaresme · 11/10/2016 21:27

I have an addictive personality, self destructive sometimes so I understand to a point. I joined a slimming class bot to follow a strict diet but to give me weekly motivation among like minded people.
Slimming classes aren't just about the foodplans but also about networking, support, a sense of belonging and community along with a sense of competition.
I understand that you have an eating disorder therefore you need to tackle that, you wouldn't advise someone with th anorexia to deal with it themselves so why expect yourself, at the other end of that spectrum, to be able to deal with it? You have a mental illness, therefore you need medical intervention. If you were diabetic you wouldn't ignore it and treat yourself?
OP you need to admit that to yourself and take the necessary steps to get better.
I wish you the best Flowers

pocketsaviour · 11/10/2016 21:27

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PrettyBotanicals · 11/10/2016 21:28

Prawn that was a very sensible post. And probably the kindest approach in the long run.

Certainly the most sensible.

OP, you really do need help. But I think your resistance signals that you know that already.

Hope you find peace.

NotTheFordType · 11/10/2016 21:29

People are angry because you're prioritising your addiction - which you acknowledge - over your own health and that of your children.

oneaddiction · 11/10/2016 21:29

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Original poster
oneaddiction · 11/10/2016 21:29

At this moment, I couldn't actually give a flying fuck.

OP posts:
DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 11/10/2016 21:30

Are you bulimic rather than an overeater- have you read the different diagnostic criteria?

hutchblue · 11/10/2016 21:30

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

Boundaries · 11/10/2016 21:30

Give a flying fuck about what, OP?

Ahwelllll · 11/10/2016 21:30

No one is getting angry, probably feeling sorry for you that you came here to ask for help but are unwilling to listen. Oh wait I'll get my magic wand for you! LOL. You want results but don't want to put the hard work into it. Ah well LOL again.

CheckpointCharlie2 · 11/10/2016 21:31

I've just started using a hypnotherapy app called Hello Mind for weight loss. (Hypno lady please don't tell me it's rubbish, I think it's working!)
I'm off to listen to day two in a minute and I haven't eaten any rubbish today!

Excited101 · 11/10/2016 21:31

All addictions, just like all phobias are exactly the same actually. They may appear to be different on the surface but underneath that they are all the same.

blueskyinmarch · 11/10/2016 21:32

I think people are getting angry because you came here with a cry for help then you have rejected every single suggestion that has been made. You are not ready to deal with your weight right now and to reiterate what was being said at the beginning, you need to deal wth your emotional issues first to get you in the right headspace to tackle your eating.

Original poster
oneaddiction · 11/10/2016 21:33

I most certainly haven't rejected every suggestion. I have engaged with a few and tried to talk, but unfortunately just keep getting weighed down under endless 'go to your GP / get counselling' posts.

As I have said, I have no issue with people continuing to post these, but it doesn't mean I am obliged to do so.

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 11/10/2016 21:33

If you don't give a flying fuck, then why post? Seriously why?

I suspect it's because like many addicts you have told your family "I will seek help" and then rejected said help because it's just too bloody hard, i.e. it requires you to give up the thing to which you are addicted

I was at the point of not being able to walk when I finally sought help in 2014. So yes I feel able, at having been 10 stone heavier than you and having spinal problems, to tell you to fuck off and stop making excuses.

hollinhurst84 · 11/10/2016 21:33

I'm heavier but exercise fine (I'm probably taller as I'm taller than most people!)
Does any form of exercise appeal? Any movement helps. Plus when I exercise I want to eat less crap and I get a "high" from it which seems to help with not binging
Walking I do a lot but play Pokemon go to make me do it Grin and often cover 8-10k without realising how far it is

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 11/10/2016 21:34

I started couch to 5k when I was 15 stone. I'm 5 ft 5. I'm now 12 stone 7. Hoping to lose another stone before Xmas.

I'm also doing SW as I have a problem with overeating - with SW you can still overeat but I'm much better at self regulating knowing I can still have a bit of everything, so long as I account for it and don't go overboard. That's what 'syns' means - and I know I sound defensive but it pisses me off when people get snooty over SW and WW saying it's all shit and just a con to sell food. They do do their own convenience food yes but the emphasis is on eating healthily - the consultants can't force people to eat salad and lean meat when a microwave meal is what they want. And how insulting to say they don't work because people get fat again - those people got fat in the first place, clearly they have disordered eating, at present there is no way to cure that! Even recovering anorexics can slip back into bad habits!

Anyway, rant over - OP you've had a lot of good advice on this thread and thrown a lot of it back. Read a book, make small changes, like no fizzy drink this week, or cut down on coffee. Please don't go down the route of some diet to try and get a quick fix, because you will gain back anything that you've lost.

Put washing up liquid in the bin when you throw food away to stop you eating it.

Boundaries · 11/10/2016 21:35

Which suggestions have you engaged with, OP?

mygorgeousmilo · 11/10/2016 21:35

It's lots of small things, walking everywhere, drinking only water, not eating after x time, etc etc. That all adds up to people getting their weight down. As pp have said, 14 stone is not going to inhibit you from moving. In your OP you mentioned killing yourself, your Mother's alcoholism, and have said that any suggestions are 'impossible', you also said you needed people to be harsh with you...but then been cross with anyone that is. Really the fact that you've said that you can't see why your mother would have affected you as you can't even remember her, is really telling. This is why you need to see a mental health professional. There is no way that it hasn't been a huge factor in your defeatist attitude and your addiction. You sound depressed, and you need to understand that by asking for help, including the words 'kill myself', and answering every suggestion with NO is not normal. You need counselling because it's not about weight, or diet, it's about you and your own mind, your deep-rooted problems that stem from having an addict parent. Until you understand why you are the way you are, you'll never be happy and you'll always be addicted to something. You need to believe in these pages and pages of people saying you need to see a professional, and not be so insistent that you can do it all by yourself, when that hasn't worked before. That is the truth.

blueskyinmarch · 11/10/2016 21:36

OP if you had said early on that you had health issues that meant exercise was difficult for you then people would have factored that in. It is a massive drip feed to let us know that now. I have terrible back and hip problems but still manage to walk a lot and go to Pilates. I find it helps.

oneaddiction · 11/10/2016 21:36

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WaitrosePigeon · 11/10/2016 21:37

Nobody can help you on here.

The only way you will get help to save you from your mental health issues will be from a professional.

slightlypeevedwombat · 11/10/2016 21:38

just going to post this again from pp - and as we are beyond being polite, just bloody read it

You need counselling because it's not about weight, or diet, it's about you and your own mind, your deep-rooted problems that stem from having an addict parent. Until you understand why you are the way you are, you'll never be happy and you'll always be addicted to something. You need to believe in these pages and pages of people saying you need to see a professional, and not be so insistent that you can do it all by yourself, when that hasn't worked before. That is the truth.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 11/10/2016 21:38

No, I won't go to my GP confused which I made clear on page 1

You are basically saying "I won't do the thing that may get me some help with this".

If someone posted on here saying "Ive just broken my leg but don't tell me to go to A&E", we'd all be equally at a loss!

NeedABanner · 11/10/2016 21:39

Snay. Well done for getting where you are 💐 Several friends can't tolerate alcohol after pregnancy. Most people accept that reason or that on top of sleep depravation you simply can't face feeling worse for having a drink. Try to avoid having a specific reason like 'liver problems' or every man & his bloody dog wants to know exactly what & suggests you try xyz. Stay strong, you'll feel better for it 💐

Jess. Well done my lovely 💐 You're a great poster & a fab mum. I'm so glad you were able to sort yourself out & get your DS back.

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