To ask for help with losing weight? (title edited by MNHQ)

[oneaddiction]

I've deliberately posted here as I probably need harsh responses.

My mother was an alcoholic, drank herself to death when I was very young.

I am not a boozer. I am an eater, and I'm killing myself. I have no idea how to stop. We can have no food at all in this house because I will eat it. I have even taken food out of the bins and eaten it.

I've binge eaten for YEARS (since I was a kid really) but with periods of starvation in between so never got that big, then got pregnant and the only thing that stopped me feeling sick all the time was food. So I ate it.

Now I'm colossal. I still can't stop.

I'm worried I'm going to end up like my mother.

A few things - I won't go to WW or SW, please don't suggest, and I don't think counselling will help. I guess I need to find willpower but HOW. I am looking for stories form people who DID stop smoking or drinking or whatever?

[Manumission]

Yes, overeaters anonymous sounds like the thing.

You know it's an addiction issue and that's why you're rejecting the superficial 'lifestyle' solutions.

[oneaddiction]

DH works away, and we live very close to a 24 hour supermarket, which is both handy and a nightmare :)

[ilovesooty]

If it was going to come from you it would have happened. I think you have a problem that needs professional intervention. Addictive behaviour isn't going to be solved by finding some will power.

[GeorgeTheThird]

Why are you refusing all help?
Do you want to keep eating?
Or are you scared that you will fail even after asking for help, and that that would be worse than failing on your own?

[ErnesttheBavarian]

I found going carb free kills your appetite after 2 or 3 days. All cravings go and also actually the sensation of hunger.

But I agree with the others. Sounds like you could do with some support. Why are you so adamantly rejecting it?

[oneaddiction]

I don't know Pink, that's why I asked here, but I just don't want to waste anybody's time by having them make suggestions that I've no intention of following.

[Boundaries]

You have an inkling what would work?

What is it?

[oneaddiction]

It has happened, is the thing.

I've done it before. That's sort of why I've managed to stay at a healthy weight (ish) but then kaput.

[wombattoo]

If you are just looking for diets or ways of eating, you could have a look at the low carb boot camps here on mn. You don't need me to tell you that any new way of eating requires will power/discipline but lots have people have had success with low carb. I hope you find the answer you are looking for

[IminaPickle]

^ what pink says! What are you expecting from this thread?

[Manumission]

You don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. You can stay right where you are and read;

www.oagb.org.uk/

[olivesnutsandcheese]

Could you try the Michael Mosley 8 week blood sugar diet. There is a really good Facebook group to join to help with it, with a very positive vibe.
If you viewed it all from a health perspective rather than aesthetics, would that motivate you?

[blueskyinmarch]

It is very drastic that you cannot have any food at all in your house because you will eat it all. That is extremely disordered eating and you need to work out where it stems from before you can tackle it. How do you manage day to day with feeding your family? Do you have partner at home who is supporting you? When you say you are colossal are you actually colossal or just a bit over weight? I am wondering if you have a skewed perception of this given you used to binge and starve.

[ilovesooty]

If you're putting barriers in place you're not ready to address your addictive behaviour I'm sfraid

[Libitina]

I don't know Pink, that's why I asked here, but I just don't want to waste anybody's time by having them make suggestions that I've no intention of following.

You've just contradicted yourself there OP.

PP's are right, go and speak to your GP.

[Boundaries]

You said inyour OP you managed to not gain too much weight because you had periods of starvation.

Is that your strategy?


I don't think you are in a place to make real changes to your mental health - and it is a mental health issue.

[GeorgeTheThird]

"I'm not going to my GP, I'm not going for counselling, and I'm not joining a slimming club.

I'm sorry if people don't like those answers but that's how it is. The only person who can sort it, is me."

You have an addictive personality and an eating disorder. Just like being an alcoholic. Do your words make sense for an alcoholic? No? Then they don't make sense for you. Stop pissing around.

[EveOnline2016]

Was you hungry as a child, did your mum choose drink over food and treats.

[PotteringAlong]

The only person who can sort it, is me.

But you can't, because you've wanted to for years and you haven't. So you need to go to your GP and you need help from professional mental health teams.

[oneaddiction]

I have a MN rule which is once I am attacked for daring to start a thread without clear aims, objectives and outcomes, I promptly fuck off from said thread, so I shall do so now.

I'm sorry I genuinely didn't/don't know what I wanted. I DO know that I am utterly shit at following diets of other people's creations - I just can't do it - hence what you see as resisting help I see as not wasting people's time (and money - I am already aware that as an overweight person if I need nhs help in the future it isn't good.)

Sometimes it just helps to tell people honestly how it is and it helps me to think how to make changes but I can't do that if people are pecking my head for daring to post.

[Manumission]

I really don't think OP needs faddy diet suggestions.

[harderandharder2breathe]

I did Slimming World online so didn't go to groups, no leader, only I knew what I was eating and what my weight was. It also has the ethos of one bad day doesn't end it all.

You say you want to change but sound very resistant to things and people who would support that. If you could do this by yourself, you wouldn't be in this situation.

[Kalopsia77]

Sod diet clubs, they just perpetuate the endless good/bad on/off cycle. I'm not sure why you are so hostile to outside help but I would say try an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. I went to my first ever last night, hated going, hated walking through the door, hated sitting at a table with a load of strangers. Then they started talking and they all had the same story as me. The shameful, hopeless story I thought was just mine. The story that has made me feel like a total lonely freak for years. That was super fucking liberating. I'm not the holding hands and praying type at all but I felt amongst my people for the first time in a long time. Good luck OP. Just a thought - you actually can't deal with this alone or it would be sorted by now. With the best will in the world - get some help. You deserve it

[Pinkcadillac]

OP I found the book Eating Less by Gillian Riley really good. It's all about things you can do by yourself to fight food addiction.

[GeorgeTheThird]

You say you got pregnant. Are you pregnant now, is there a child in the house, have you suffered a terrible loss?