AIBU to be be furious with DP for going on a long weekend,I am 34 weeks Pregnant

[FlourishingMrs]

Ok DP is usually very good, loving and hands on. He is very sporty and goes away 4-4 of times a year for tornaments in Europe with his friends/team mates.

This October I was quite clear that as I am 34 weeks pregnant with not an easy pregnancy, he will really have to miss out on this trip but could still go skiing in Jan as baby will be born. I have a primary school DS who I cannot leave alone if I had to go to the hospital.anyway 11pm Thursday night he infirm me that the team have not found a replacement for him for he will be flying out Friday morning. He has only just got home today Monday.

He is in the kitchen making dinner as we speak, I am so furious with him. I don't want to split the family over this but I need ideas on how I make sure he understands that this behaviour is tottally off, unless of course I am being unreasonable?

[EllenDegenerate]

Fwiw Iggi it seems you weren't far off the mark.
I take no pleasure in your opinion being vindicated either.

I think it's really quite unfortunate, but what can you do?

[AnnieOnnieMouse]

The OH is being a dick.
Of course the team would have been able to replace him. What if he'd been unable to go because of his own illness or injury? They'd have had to find a sub then.
After I'd had some tragic pregnancies, and emergency admissions at all stages of pregnancy, DH himself refused to be away overnight, even for work.
Priorities.

[Careforadrink]

Yanbu.

He's a dick. I'd be furious.

[FlourishingMrs]

Thank you everyone for your advice and input. For what's it's worth he thinks I was not unreasonable in my fury.

He has profusely apologised, he has assured me there will be no next time. I am still mad with him but I have a job, a DC to raise and one on the way, I have no time to be dwelling on his poor judgment. He is normally very loving and considerate so maybe I should forgive. But thank you everyone

[Drbint]

He has profusely apologised, he has assured me there will be no next time.

Well yeah, now he's got his own way without facing your anger beforehand. Apologising after he did what he wanted will cost him nothing. It's meaningless.

My DH is super-sporty and whilst I'm laidback about being pregnant, if I asked him not to go, he wouldn't. Because I wouldn't ask unless I really felt I needed him, and he wouldn't dismiss that.

If I'd been to hospital twice, he wouldn't consider going at all.

[KERALA1]

Harsh demonstration of where you fit in his priorities.

We went overseas partly so Dh could do a particular sporting event. I developed painful toothache the night before it and had to have emergency treatment - he spoke language I didn't. Told him to go ahead but he laughed and said I was mad. Missed his race, sorted my tooth, never mentioned it.

[ptumbi]

What's the saying - 'it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission'??

He's set a precedent, OP. What happens if he does do it again - this time leaving you with a tiny baby and small child?

[FlourishingMrs]

Thank you for your comments but at this point in our lives I will not be splitting our family apart, like I said he is fabulous most of the time. If he does it again then he doesn't value us and I will deal with the issue accordingly.

Thank you again for your time.