AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

[RestlessTraveller]

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

Nonsense barring special needs all 3 year olds know kicking an animal is vile behaviour and if they don't then it's the parents bad parenting.

Do not done bloody auto correct!

Of course you shouldn't pay. The child has learned a tough lesson.

Much as it riles me when dog owners let their animals jump up and terrify small children, it is equally irritating (and down right dangerous) when children aren't taught respect for animals from a very young age.

Hmm, I suppose it was an escalation of the behaviour and yes, there's a difference between throwing it at a dog you know you shouldn't be going near and just being a toddler and randomly throwing a teddy which happens to land by a dog. So I take it back- you were not being unreasonable!

She did absolutely nothing to address the fact that he had kicked out at the dog. She didn't even call him away. I told him to go back to his mother.

But do we know that the toddler threw the toy at the dog deliberately? Does a three year old have a good enough aim to throw a teddy at a dog from a couple of tables away?

I don't think people are gleeful that the child's bear was decapitated... it's more the poetic justice... like when someone drives right up to your bumper, aggressively drives past you beeping their horn then you pull up behind them at the level crossing. I know he was three... he also sounds annoying.

This wasn't a dog that looked over thought, "oh good a teddy", grabbed it out of the child's hands and proceeded to tear it to pieces. This is a resting, under control dog who looked up to find a toy flying through the air at it and did what dogs do to toys. They can't reason you know?

The child was indeed a brat and the sooner we stop normalising that kind of behaviour the better, "oh it's normal for a three year old", no it's not if you crack down on it earlier enough. Child was a brat, mother a pita and you ANBU.

licking, whole new wrong.

No, again, it's probably phraseology he's learnt from his mum, not an insight into how he really regards your dog.

He may have been frightened, his mum basically told him that your dog was a threat.

Kid's don't really have the emotional intelligence to respond appropriately to anxiety and fear, a lot like dogs.

It was for the mum to fix this, I don't blame you for this op, I just think it's wrong to dump this on his little shoulders.

YANBU! Bloody cheek of the woman. How entitled are some people?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties I'm you've said it, I can't believe all the people calling the child a brat and snowflake, whatever the hell that means. 3 year olds have tantrums, it's normal! My 3 year old did yesterday, we were stood in a busy pub car park waiting for the mother of all tantrums to end so we could get him in the car. Now I know some of you may have walked by, seen him screaming and lashing out and said what a brat he is! Nice

Some people never acquire emotional intelligence, preferring instead to just run on instinct and self righteousness. It's a process.

I don't hate dogs. I have worked in a vets. I know vets, I have trained with vets. I don't like dogs in areas that impose them on others who don't like them. At a vets or in the woods you expect to see dogs, you don't expect to have to be dribbled on by a dog whilst having a coffee. Or your child's toy ripped apart. Again, if your dogs instinct is to destroy anything regardless of how harness it is, it needs to be muzzled.

PS OP no you shouldn't have paid for the teddy

idaho The child was away from it's table and stood behind the dog when he threw it. The fact that he had previous shouted 'nasty dog' and attempted to kick him made me think that it was completely intentional.

My own -

I doubt the child was trying to get his teddy in the dogs mouth no, I'm not sure that matters. My children have had some very well loved bears but if one of them had thrown a teddy in tantrum and a dog got it... well... that's a lesson learned isn't it? Not nice but perhaps he won't do it again. I suppose he could have thrown it into the rods or under a buggy...

I wouldn't call him a brat or a snowflake, I detest those names. I have a 3 yo who can be a right little diva, but I certainly wouldn't allow her to torment a dog, kick it and then bitch at the owner when the dog ripped something my kid had chucked at said dog. As a dog owner, I keep my dog on the lead and make sure she isn't too close to people (you never know if someone has a fear of dogs) but if a child was tormenting my dog I would say something, bluntly.

So the child was standing in front of the dog watching it savage his teddy...? In the circumstances I can understand why the mother was upset...

MyschoolMyrules - your comparison is ridiculous.

Artandco - the dog was lying sleeping. What's disgusting about that?

OP - no you should not have paid.

Road - sorry

idaho As I said the child was standing BEHIND the dog when he threw it, as I said AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.

Surely a three year old knows it's spiteful to kick a dog.

Is like saying surely the dog knows the difference between a child's toy and a dog toy. Three year olds vary vastly, at three they might know we don't hit or kick if you ask them but they can lose control and do it. You don't even know he was three, he could be two.

In an ideal British way...
you should have apologised and offered to pay for the teddy, she should have apologised profusely for her son's behaviour and refused to accept the money, you should have insisted she take the money, she would apologise again and say she couldn't possibly take your money, you would have patted the boy on the head and said "I understand, toddlers are difficult", she would have stroked your dog and said, "I understand puppies are difficult" then you'd both resume with your day thinking how polite you'd been..

You are really just seeing the things you want aren't you?

Ahhh Ilostit I yearn for a simpler time.