AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

[RestlessTraveller]

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

FFS. Someone save us from those who have had their sense of humour removed. I love dogs but do not own one, have never owned one, will never own one (due to being disabled) and if I were to own a dog no, I would not train it to KILL!

Now training cats on the other hand............................ just kidding

YANBU - If I was that mother I would have been mortified that my child had kicked your dog. I would have apologised profusely, and immediately taken him/her away from it. Parental muppetry.

Oh no!! What a horrid situation. Some people are AWFUL aren't they!!! You don't need to pay for the toy. You had control of your wonderful dog. If you had let your dog off the lead so to speak, and he had taken the toy, then you would have had the grace to pay for it, but you can't put something in the path of (any!!) dog and expect any outcome to your fault.
I'm frustrated on your behalf - you are a total victim of their bad behaviour, not the other way around.
If the child had thrown his ice cream at the dog and the dog had licked it up off the floor there's no way you'd pay for the ice cream. Sounds like the mother is an entitled troublemaker, personally.
Do not worry your self my dear, and congratulations on looking after your wonderful dog WELL. Your dog is lucky to have you!

YANBU. I have a 4 yo DS with autism and loves dogs (is always wanting to go say hi to them) but even he wouldn't do this if he was told no he couldn't fuss the dog. You told the mother your wishes (a child has no right to approach someone else's dog after being told no Full Stop)

Nope! Spoilt brat needs to learn to behave himself! Of course you shouldn't pay!!! Poor you!

The dog was only showing natural behaviour. You couldn't have stopped it chewing the toy any more than the parent could have prevented the child throwing a teddy that he is holding or trying to kick the dog. Those sort of things are natural too. You prevent by teaching them not to, but that takes time.

It sounds like the dog is best kept away from coffee shops if it is a chewer. People hang coats on the back of chairs, handbags etc and it would be dreadful if your dog innocently chewed something more.

I agree with littleprincesssara.
How dare the little brat try and kick your dog just because they were told they couldn't stroke it.
If I were the mother I would have been embarrassed by the lack of respect her child had for your dog (another living thing) and her child's bad behaviour in public.
Serves the child right that it went home with a headless teddy. Maybe next time it'll curb its disgusting behaviour, but I doubt it because Mummy will probably just buy it a new one-as a reward for their tantrum!
I had some stupid woman in the park the other day tell me my rescue dog was vicious, just because he was being playful with her dog! She was told in no uncertain terms where to go.
I think you were very polite, well done.

YANBU to be annoyed. A similar thing happened to me once. A child approached my dog and asked to pet it. I said the dog didn't like children and the mother let the child pet the dog anyway. Dog growled, child cried, mother went nuts. Where dogs are concerned no means no.
That being said I think I would have offered to pay for the bear.

What part of "stay away from my dog" do they not understand? YANBU - keep the kid away and if he loses the teddy - tough. He won't do it again.

No, YANBU. She shouldn't have let her child try and kick your dog! My son is 3 and if he wanted to stroke a dog and the owner said not a good idea, I'd just find the right words to explain that he couldn't. If he had a tantrum (which my son often does!) about it I'd remove him from the situation or try and distract him.
My in laws have always had a dog. She's a rescue dog and isn't comfortable with strangers, she isn't dangerous but they just think it's better if she isn't stroked by children for everyone sake. I've been there when kids have come over and asked to stroke her and when they explain the parent of the child have always been friendly and ushered child away !

Children should respect animals - good job it was just the teddy bear that was decapitated - if it was me I'd have ripped the mother's head off for being an utter Eeejit!

OP you were perfectly reasonable in this scenario as your dog was controlled and you asked child not to touch dog to prevent excitement. (I understand this, I hate children touching my dogs, one runs away and the other gets seriously excited and tried to lick them )

Child however was out of control, and throwing his toy was his own fault.
I would want an apology from parent or child if something had been thrown at me in a rage.

Yes difficult to remove a child from the situation if you are sat there having bought a coffee. Some children take explanations easier than others. Some have greater understanding. Developmentally they may not understand the words very well. The terrible twos are called that for a reason.

I don't like to hear of children called brats, when they are young themselves, and effectively are still puppies.

Yes difficult to remove a child from the situation if you are sat there having bought a coffee

This is a fair point...but surely there's no excuse for the lack of contrition on the part of the mother? As I said above, I'm a self confessed dogphobe, but I'd be mortified if one of my children had behaved like that. And most 3 year olds would know that wasn't allowed/good behaviour, surely? Many kids are in school nursery by that age and used to rules and being told that certain things aren't allowed.

I don't get why all of you are saying YANBU. HER DOG broke SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROPERTY, and you're saying she doesn't have to pay for it? I think you should really pay up...... I hope that 3 year old isn't too upset, poor kid.

So it's wrong to call a child a brat now? A child who has deliberately hurt an animal.

I swear LoveL and the like are bots from HQ to keep the MN feistiness going!

Arrghhhh.....

I'm not a bot, I'm genuinely confused

Brat or no brat, he most likely won't be doing that again will he ?

Her dog did not jump a fence and tear up a toy in the woman's back garden. The toy was destroyed because the kid threw it at the dog. As someone said much much earlier in the thread, if the kid had thrown it in a road and a lorry had run it over would you expect the lorry driver to pay?