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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

540 replies

RestlessTraveller · 10/10/2016 12:32

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

OP posts:
2kids2dogsnosense · 11/10/2016 11:24

Be fair Navy "Irrational fears" are exactly that - irrational. I'm sure people would prefer to be relaxed with every animal/object/situation, but some can't. They don't want to transfer these fears to their children, but as you say, that is what happens.

But they aren't being deliberately awkward about it. It's just how they feel.

Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 11/10/2016 11:44

The excitable-ness of the dog was not an issue though. I mentioned it because that's why I advised them not to touch him. If I had an 'excitable' child who had continue to bully another child despite being told not to. No I would not pay for it. Plus I would be an abject failure as a parent.

OP posts:
Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 11/10/2016 11:47

Sorry got all confused there! In that situation I would not expect payment!

OP posts:
Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 11/10/2016 11:50

I was confused because I hadn't described the the child as excitable. If your asking if my dog was a child who had been bullied by a kid who warned to stay away then went on to destroy a toy, no I wouldn't pay for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 11/10/2016 11:51

Fuck, that was confusing!

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 11/10/2016 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NataliaOsipova · 11/10/2016 12:09

But Navy, I've said - in my case at least - I wouldn't say it's fear, just something I find deeply unpleasant (and am therefore apprehensive in the situation). I'm not afraid of the dentist, but I really hate anyone poking about in my mouth, so I feel uptight sitting in the waiting room. And kids pick up on your likes and dislikes, especially if it's things you think are great or are awful.

Caipira · 11/10/2016 12:19

I don't think you can compare this to children. Dogs destroy things, they don't necessarily have the notion that it's wrong. If a child was being tormented by another child and then ripped the head off that child's toy that would be a deliberate and malicious act and would make both children equally wrong. In that situation I would hope that parent would pa. This is a dog though. Despite what I think of this situation which I've already made clear, I don't think the OP should have paid for a dog destroying a toy.

NavyandWhite · 11/10/2016 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NataliaOsipova · 11/10/2016 12:36

I'm not sure I do think it's that important, to be honest! Obviously I don't want worried children....but it's not something that's ever been a big deal. We don't have much to do with animals. If a dog runs up to DD she doesn't like it, but there's no major trauma. She will happily go to get friend's house who has a big dog. To be honest, I'd rather they did keep their distance from animals where they don't know who they are and who they're with. I will tell them that most dogs are friendly but they must not touch one unless its owner has said it is okay. I think that's a perfectly rational response.

Caipira · 11/10/2016 12:42

I agree with you NataliaOsipova we have dogs, but my children are naturally wary of strange dogs. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. They are not worried, just wary. I would rather this than them going up to all the "doggies". Children who do this are usually clueless about dogs or animals in general. Like the boy in the OP.

NickyEds · 11/10/2016 13:13

I agree Caipira, my ds is fearless around dogs, he loves them and would go bounding up to them. He's 2.9 years old so this is totally inappropriate and I am teaching him to be much more wary of dogs. For small children a fear of dogs is not irrational, dogs can and do hurt young children, in this country the fear of spiders would be irrational or clowns...not dogs. I think dogs would probably rather be left alone too.

2kids2dogsnosense · 11/10/2016 14:46

Nicky
Nothing irrational about being afraid of clowns.

They are creeeeeeeepy . . . .

JoffreyBaratheon · 11/10/2016 14:52

YANBU. Nor was the dog.

MidniteScribbler · 11/10/2016 16:12

Haha, dog has toy thown at head. Dog plays with toy and destroys it. Meh. It's a stuffed toy.

DS is now 4, but he learnt from a very early age that kid toys stay in the kid room, and other toys laying around may be appropriated by the four legged household members. The dogs were trained that the toys in the kid room were out of bounds and they don't go near those.

Several of the dog members of this household like to destroy stuffed toys. Waking up in the morning to the 'snow' is always good fun. The three dogs of mine that love destuffing soft toys are also my best dogs for school visits. They are certified to go in to schools/nursing homes/etc. They will tolerate a child manhandling them without question. Their preference for destuffing a soft toy means nothing about their temperament with a child.

LoveLifeee · 11/10/2016 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LagunaBubbles · 11/10/2016 16:41

Lovelifeee, put down? Get away with you!

SapphireStrange · 11/10/2016 16:43

I think Love is being satirical. I dearly hope so anyway

LagunaBubbles · 11/10/2016 16:48

Sapphire I did consider that, but the wee angry face made me think possibly not!

SapphireStrange · 11/10/2016 16:49

... Grin

RortyCrankle · 11/10/2016 16:56

Well it's very easy to pick out the dog haters on here.

Personally as soon as the bear hit the dog I would have said KILL! then calmly hand the two pieces back to the mother while laughing. The child was a brat and the mother obviously a brat enabler (ie crap parent).

Of course you should not pay and hopefully the child will have learned a valuable lesson.

Give your puppy a cuddle from me Smile

Original poster
RestlessTraveller · 11/10/2016 17:00

LoveLife with all due disrespect you are talking out of your arse. But you have given me a giggle. Thanks!

OP posts:
RortyCrankle · 11/10/2016 17:00

LoveLifeee
YABVVU. That poor kid! You should have paid. Preferably more than the teddy cost because of inconvenience. There's probably going to be a sad 3 year old crying tonight because you DESTROYED his comfort object! How would you feel if someone smashed your phone and refused to pay? The woman can report you to the police for damage, and your dog can and will be put down. I HATE people like you

Hahahahahaha - (please let this be satirical)

If not, you are seriously bonkers.

Caipira · 11/10/2016 17:26

Personally as soon as the bear hit the dog I would have said KILL! then calmly hand the two pieces back to the mother while laughing

You teach dogs to attack? I hope you're joking because if you're not then you are one example of the reason some people hate dogs and their owners.

WaitrosePigeon · 11/10/2016 17:29

YABVVU. That poor kid! You should have paid. Preferably more than the teddy cost because of inconvenience. There's probably going to be a sad 3 year old crying tonight because you DESTROYED his comfort object! How would you feel if someone smashed your phone and refused to pay? The woman can report you to the police for damage, and your dog can and will be put down. I HATE people like you

That's completely boners (and not true) but really funny all the same, thanks Grin