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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A minor celeb came on to me inappropriately should I report?

382 replies

Iggypoppie · 09/10/2016 14:40

Got a bit of a dilemma.

After watching the jammy Saville doc last week I remembered that earlier this year a current v minor TV presenter several times touched my leg at a charity dinner. It was in a busy room and I was too shocked/confused to ask him to stop! I had only just met him and was three months pregnant so wasn't flirting and I believe his behaviour was sleazy if not predatory.

This person has already been reprimanded for inappropriate behaviour at work in the past so I believe he has form.

My question is, should I tell his employer even though he wasn't attending in a work capacity? Or should I just email him and say that I am on to him?

I don't want a fuss by the way and it was possible that he was just being "friendly" Hmm but it occurred to me that Saville got away so long because of women minimising incidents like this one.

OP posts:
justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:08

Bluechip. that is a great post. flowers back at you too

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 09/10/2016 20:09

Literatly agog at the end of this thread.

just who raped young at ten? Im confused? Why didn't you mention that up thread?

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:10

mydietstartsmonday is it because the person was a celebrity? i am confused to how that makes a difference?

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:10

i didn;'t want to say anything. but it happen then from a different person. and as i said, at 14 i was molested badly. like the OP

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:12

the thought just came to me that maybe i am so upset and crying at this thread because i was blamed for what happened age 10 as well. for flirting with him. but being Aspie i didn't know that it was flirting?

nellypledge16 · 09/10/2016 20:12

I may have read it wrongly Just but did you not say you were groped by a stranger for 20 mins and also by your Dad? Did I get that right? There have been lots of posts tbf.
I would suggest that was abuse was it not?

Quite honestly I'm not sure if the OP has an issue with your posts or not as she hasn't been on for quite a while, whereas you have posted a lot, some posts where you have seemed quite upset and looking for support. I only suggested starting your own thread in the appropriate place as you will probably more readily find that support there than on an unrelated thread.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:14

i know how the OP feels. because a week ago i decided to take action about what happened to me. i have an asessment tommorow to see if i need help from rape crisis? i am a bot scared they will involve the police. that is why i posted, because i know how OP feels

fastdaytears · 09/10/2016 20:15

at 14 i was molested badly. like the OP

No that's not like the OP. The OP was not molested, let alone badly. She was also an adult when this happened. You won't get the support you need on this thread because people are responding to the OP. What happened to you is entirely different and awful.

nellypledge16 · 09/10/2016 20:16

Also, you may have been molested badly, but the OP certainly wasn't.
A bloke, regardless whether he was a minor celeb, a bin man or Brad Pitt touching your leg at a function is not being badly molested or abuse.

instantly · 09/10/2016 20:17

Aspie, now?

I call bingo.

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 09/10/2016 20:18

I think you need to start your own thread just then you can get the individual support you want. As originally this was a supportive thread for the op not an abuse survivors thread. I hope your ok and getting the help you need but it's really not fair on the op or you as you clearly have deep issues and it's kind of taking away from what op was asking. She may be back or she maybe even reading the thread and not responding as its now turned in to what happened about you.

Good luck

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:18

my dad didn't sexually abuse me but physically and mentally. i have injuries from it . the person when i was 10 was just an acquaintance. but the grope for 20 mins WAS abuse. because he used forced to do it. and he stalked me before it happened. i had a panic attack because i don't like being touched by men. but people on here are saying Jimmy Savile's victims went through worse? i didn't realise that what happened to me wasn't abuse. my counsellor and my MH team say it was. i was moved to a safe place so i don't have to live in that area anymore.

HexBramble · 09/10/2016 20:19

instantly leave it out. If you have doubts, then follow the correct procedure.

instantly · 09/10/2016 20:20

Fair enough. It was just too tempting....

fastdaytears · 09/10/2016 20:20

but the grope for 20 mins WAS abuse. because he used forced to do it

No one is questioning whether you were abused. But the OP is not in the same position as you.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:21

Instantly i don't know if i am Aspie or not but my eating disorder counsellor says i should look into it as i get very emotional and anxious about things? and i'm easily persuaded into things. it would explain my being clingy and always defending the underdog even when not appropriate

HexBramble · 09/10/2016 20:22

just, there's absolutely no doubt that you have suffered great trauma, and that is why you should start your own thread. You will get your questions answered and you will receive support on your thread.

This thread has been massively derailed - inadvertently by you, but also to those countless others who are minimising OP's experiences.

OP hasn't come back. There are reasons for that and as well-meaning as you are, you need to start your own thread.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:23

ok i misread the post and thought a man was harassing her or something. i didn';t know it wasn't the same.

HexBramble · 09/10/2016 20:23

*by those

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:25

ok,. i am looking for the thread for me. it is called Stately Homes and i was told it would help me but it seems to be locked

fastdaytears · 09/10/2016 20:26

Not sure Stately Homes is your best bet actually. I'd start your own thread.

instantly · 09/10/2016 20:27

Justagirl, no matter what your real life experiences, you are just being fucking disingenuous now.

What you have managed to do, and you fucking know this, is to completely derail a thread where an OP has genuinely asked for advice.

No matter what views she has received on what to do next, your incessant and disingenous posts have entirely prevented the OP from fulfilling the aims and objectives of her thread.

And, no matter what your experiences, I just find that fucking rude.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:27

i',m sure OP will be back. she is probably busy getting tea or with her kids. but so am i now so i will take a break

Mindfields · 09/10/2016 20:28

justagirl844

What you have been through is terrible and I can understand why you are using this thread to talk about your experiences.

As has been said, however, this is a thread about the OP (original poster, i.e. Iggypoppie) to talk through her experience. Unfortunately you are now derailing things and it's getting very confusing.

If you start your own thread you will get advice and support (but please please please not in AIBU - you'll probably get shredded).

Flowers
justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 20:29

i said i was sorry i got the wrong idea. ok. i made a mistake and i'm sorry. can we drop it now? i was also asking for advice which is why i was followingth thread because as i said im also reporting my case

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