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Original poster

Not to want my daughter's initials to be 'S.H.A.G'

292 replies

NewUserNeedAdvice · 08/10/2016 08:55

I'm not a troll, I promise. I just signed up today as I need some help. My husband is completely settled on the name Sophie for our baby. Our 2 middle names, Harriet and Anya are our parents middle names which we have to use as it's family tradition. However in the order that we thought of, it would spell SHA and our surname begins with a GSad Would our daughter be teased or would it be ok?

OP posts:
Dinah85 · 08/10/2016 09:48

At my daughter's school (age4-11) every jumper, bag, pe shorts etc have their initials embroidered on the outside under the logo. A 4 year old won't pick up on it - the bigger kids in the playground will.

StatisticallyChallenged · 08/10/2016 09:48

My DH insisted on checking possible initials didn't spell anything dodgy, even backwards (surname begins with B and J first names were ruled out!) - apparently name related teasing was a big thing at his school.

I'm another who has had [email protected] email addresses too.

RockNRollNerd · 08/10/2016 09:57

Please don't do this. DS and I had a long talk yesterday as he's just started getting comments about his last name. It was one of those things that would inevitably happen and luckily it seemed to pretty much go over everyone's heads when they were littler and at the playground rhymes stage - what he's getting now is kids being a bit rude and thoughtless and speaking without thinking.

The point is though, we knew this would happen at some point and couldn't really avoid it with the last name, but we sure as hell made sure that we double and triple checked every possible combination of first name, middle names, initials etc to not make a slightly tiresome situation a lot worse (this included the various ways names tend to get used in email addresses, plus list formats like last name, first intial etc). This meant not giving him our absolute favourite first name because combined with the surname it was asking for trouble.

Pominoz1 · 08/10/2016 09:58

yes she will be teased ... swap !!

Newbluetattoo · 08/10/2016 10:02

I know an ARS. Think she quite likes it...

LookMoreCloselier · 08/10/2016 10:02

My initials spell a word and I love it and always have, I used to sign my work at school with my initials word and now at work I have to use my initials (and choose to use full initials) to sign off stuff, it isn't a rude word, it's a nice word, but I think as an adult having SHAG as initials would be awesome. Might get teased as a child though. Grin It probably does flow a bit better Sophie Anya Harriet anyway - lovely name. Are you unsure about the name Sophie, as you said it is your DH who is settled on it?

LemonRedwood · 08/10/2016 10:02

Please swap them. Everything at my work, diary entries, memos, emails, uses initials. Until I got married I was PMS on everything!

APlaceOnTheCouch · 08/10/2016 10:03

Put your foot down. My initials spell a word - not a bad one - but it has made me aware of how often people do use your initials and notice what they spell.

WorraLiberty · 08/10/2016 10:03

Do your husband's initials spell the word 'GOD'?

I don't understand why he gets to call the shots?

You should be deciding these things together.

MissDuke · 08/10/2016 10:07

I really think your DH is asserting too much authority over this! He is settled on the name Sophie and gets to decide the order of the middle names too? Naming a baby is very much a job for both parents to agree on!

My dh had decided on a name for our ds, I wasn't happy because when combined with our surname, it is the same name as someone famous and I didn't want it to seem we were deliberately naming him after this person. Ok I realise this is pretty lame and dh thought I was crazy. When ds was born we still hadn't agree and I was texting people saying he had no name however dh was texting people announcing the name (I found that out after from my mum Confused I have to be honest, I have never quite forgiven him for it. I know it is silly and petty but it really hurt me.

My point is, don't let dh push to get his way with this, it is really important that it is a joint decision.

acasualobserver · 08/10/2016 10:07

If your husband believes the initials SHAG would not be noticed by others he needs his tiny mind examining.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 08/10/2016 10:08

Yes, people will notice. Very much so. Change the order.

CandyOcean · 08/10/2016 10:08

There is only one reason that my schoolfriend Valerie Davis sticks in my mind thirty-odd years later Grin

Obsidian77 · 08/10/2016 10:10

It's the kind of thing that might not matter when she's a baby but ask your husband how he'd feel when she's 13 or 14 and widely known as SHAG?
I think registrars are able to refuse to register a name that could expose the child to ridicule..could be wrong but if you went ahead you might find people questioning your parenting skills, not to mention common sense.

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 08/10/2016 10:11

I know a Timothy Ian Mxxxxx, brother to Thomas Oliver Mxxxx and Samantha Ann Mxxxxx.

Everyone notices.

At least in their case it's quite fun

DarklyDreamingDexter · 08/10/2016 10:12

Why is the order of the middle names such an issue that you'd consider changing the first name to stick in that order? Surely your parents would totally understand the reasons for swapping them round in this case if there was a family tradition for a particular order? Ie. Mum's mum followed by Dad's mum, or whatever.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/10/2016 10:16

Don't believe this.

No father in his right mind would want this for his child.

bettytaghetti · 08/10/2016 10:19

Totally agree with others; kids can be really cruel. DB was at school (in the US) with a girl with the initials EZ, which would have been fine over here...

I somehow missed DS's initials spelling out BS when we chose his name, he's not too happy with me now! It gets worse with his middle initials, but I better not include those for fear of outting myself!

TaliDiNozzo · 08/10/2016 10:24

I know someone who picked a boys name for their DD (well, a boys spelling of a unisex name really) and has ended up with the initials of B.O.. Honestly I don't know what the family were thinking. It is commented on so much (not sure if the mum has realised this).

Change it. The little girl I know will inevitably be teased at school about her initials. If you can stop that I would.

Sparklemummyx0x0x · 08/10/2016 10:27

My nephew was going to be a BRA until they realised. He's now a BJA which is better, but he's still BJ. Don't know if they realise because his middle name isn't used, only when written.

Witchend · 08/10/2016 10:27

It will be noticed. Guaranteed. She will hate you far into adulthood when people like my bil will still be thinking it's funny to say "Have you ever noticed...?"

I've known a "PEAS" and a "TDS" (say that one out loud) and a "WIMP" and they got commented on it often and forever. Two of them changed their name by deed pole as soon as they reached adulthood so they didn't have that any more.

JaffaCakesMum · 08/10/2016 10:34

You've got to be kidding. I've just read this out to my 17 year old daughter, her initials read SAME, which is fine and 'everyone' knows. SHAG is right up there for bullying. Definitely change it.

pabstblueribbon · 08/10/2016 10:35

I went to school with someone with the surname Hagger and his first name began with an S. He was bullied. A lot.

Billben · 08/10/2016 10:42

Please put your foot down. Why on earth does your husband want to put your daughter through a life of embarrassment, I don't know. In my opinion it's sad enough that you "have" to go with the two middle names chosen just because of a family tradition, but your daughter will be in school for many many years and children can be very cruel. And don't let your husband talk you into it by saying that she can just use the initials of her first and surname, i. e. SG.

AnxiousCarer · 08/10/2016 10:43

I worked with someone with the initials C.R.A.P. he had been teased his whole life for it, don't do it!