I survived him

[Notavictimbutasurvivor]

I regularly used to post on here using numerous different names.

Some were imsogross amongst others. I would write what I was going through then change my name and runaway.

I don't know if any of you read my threads but I have an amazing update!

After 18 years of abuse on the 10th January I finally got the courage to kick my exes sorry butt to the curb.

He's currently on remand for crimes against myself and looking at 12 years.

I've been so embarrassed to write on here but tonight I just want to shout out to the world what he had done to me. What he has taken from me.

My strength is dwindling and I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown

Good for you! All the best for the future!

Same as watching

Well done, Survivor! You don't sound like your strength is dwindling, to be honest - you sound amazing.

The fact that you have got rid of him makes me happy for you. I remember your 'Upset :( ' thread under a different name.

You shouldn't be embarrassed about anything. Your horrible ex is the one who should be embarrassed and ashamed, but in lieu of that, a lengthy stretch would do.

Make sure that you take care of yourself. If you feel that you are in a bad place, perhaps you could be referred for counselling?

please. Do not ever be embarrassed. The cunt you were married to is the shame and embarrassment.

You're amazing and inspirational
You're an absolute.

I hope you get justice

And you can't have a breakdown now, you are free!

Well done.

first you are a first class Star.
Never doubt that. second ((((((((big Hugs))))))))
one foot in front of the other, keep moving forwards. Ok some days you will probably have bad days and step backwards but focus on going forwards.
One splash at a time. Keep Swimming. You can do it

He's still finding ways to get to me. He's emailing me, calling my children (I've changed numbers for all of us about 5 times)
He's threatening my friends etc..

I'm changing my name and moving to a safe house tomorrow fingers crossed.

He has a mobile phone in prison so he still can run his drugs empire from his cell.
His brother and friend have also been remanded into custody for taking me to the police station and court to try and make me drop the charges.

Had a little wobble yesterday but today I'm on full form.

I just want this to be over so I can move on

I'm still working all the hours I can and I'm breaking under the strain.

How do I go about signing off sick?
I have 3 kids I need to support so I'm panicking about money if I do go onto benefits while I sort myself out

You've done the hard bit. Well done! Now it's a case of taking one day at a time, do whatever you need to do to be free of him.

You can do this, bit by bit it will all get easier.

You might need to make a new start somewhere new - but that won't be any harder than what you have been through for the last 18 years.

And you'll get all the support you need on here if you just ask.

Amazing. That's what I think you are. You did it. You. You will get through the rest because you have just proved you can.

Well done you sound awesome, would letting the authorities know he has an illegal phone in prison put you in danger?

Speak to your doctor, they can help you. Do you have a support worker? Ask their advice if so. I left my abusive ex 5 months ago and got signed off work 3 weeks ago as I just couldn't keep all the balls in the air.

You've done so very well.

I spoke to the police about his phone and I called the prison to let them know so I think they raided his cell last night

Yes I have a support worker and a social worker which is great. They're really good help

You can sign yourself off work for one week, then you need a doctor to sign you off.

You are one strong lady! Well done that is an amazing achievement. It sounds like you are strong but I wouldn't be surprised if you suffer some form of PTSD at some point. I hope you have support.

Here's to your future.

Absolutely well done you - wish you every happiness for the future. You should always come on if you need people .... don't feel alone - you've done the worst part, now the healing begins ..... take care

I went down to 5 stone. My hair was falling out and I was a mess.

What finally made me get rid of him was he made me get an abortion on the 23rd December last year.

It was the single most harrowing experience of my life. My body still aches for my baby.
I begged and pleaded but he threatened to kick me down the stairs until I lost it.

I murdered my own baby. I still can't talk about it in great detail because it breaks my heart

Well done! I don't remember your story but you've exhibited great strength in kicking him out. Everyone on here will be behind you so do post if you need to.

That is horrific! He killed your child, not you. Please don't forget that.

How chilling to read what you've been through. Well done for getting out. This is probably the hardest time, it can get better from here.

By the way, do you know how he kept getting your new number, is someone close to you feeding him information. That would worry me as you need to be able to trust everyone around you.

Good luck OP and remember, he should be ashamed, not you.