AIBU to think this isn't what happens in a normal relationship?

[Willdrama]

"D"P and I have one child together and one on the way. We live in a house that we moved to earlier this year. The mortgage is solely in his name and the house that was sold to buy this one was bought before he met me.

I gave up my job when I was on maternity leave with DS1. This was with DPs full agreement after we worked out childcare compared to salary. DP earns approximately 3 times what I did.

The plan is that I register as a childminder and will start taking children after DC2 is old enough that I feel ready. The discussed plan then is that we will use my income to overpay on the mortgage so we can be mortgage free sooner or move to a bigger house with more deposit. So although I'm not contributing now, I will be.

I found out that DP had a will made through his company (law firm) that in the event of his death splits the house between me and DC if he died. I was shocked as I only found out about the will months later, he had no intention of telling me and maintains it was done "as a training exercise" with a trainee.

I said that I was really upset as he is basically saying that he doesn't trust me with the house and that most couples would leave it to each other. Also if I'd paid half the mortgage through overpayment the half he "left" me wouldn't be inherited anyway I'd have paid for it and so he had basically cut me out by leaving his half to the DC. I said I was really hurt that he was basically saying he didn't trust me to ensure DC were financially ok if he died.

His response was "if I died tomorrow, you might meet someone else and get married then if you die they inherit all MY stuff"

I said he was basically proving my point and he said I'm twisting it.

Its not a normal way to think of your supposed partner is it? Aibu?

Blimey only just realised you're not married. You're not protected at all. If you split up he would of course have to provide maintenance for the DC but not for you and neither would it necessarily extend to you staying in 'his' house (only in his name and you've already stated you currently make no contribution financially to it). A family court MIGHT decide you should have some of the assets or be allowed to stay but even if they did it would only be til DCs were 18. Get yourself on the mortgage fgs!

If your name is not on the deeds, dont put money into the mortgage until it is.

OP you do realise that he could make another Will at any time without telling you and disinherit you entirely if he so felt. Wills are private. However your biggest concern should be making some financial provision for yourself or marrying him,

Stop focusing on the will. You're not married, its his house, and you are very vulnerable financially. He could kick you out tomorrow if he felt like it, and you'd have nothing.
Either get married or sort out your legal and financial properly, including wills.

isn't he protecting you this way too? If he had no will and you are not married, wouldn't 100% go to his kids? This way he is protecting both you and the kids and saving IHT too. Sounds prudent financial planning in the event of you both being still together on death.

The problem is if you split up. You will lose any overpayments on the mortgage and you will have given up any opportunity to save for your future by being a SAHM, whilst his investments are still increasing in value. Fair enough to ring fence the value of his assets before you had children, but any increase since then should be sorted out 50/50. Concentrate on this when talking to him. Not the will.

I can see what he is doing.

DH's dad died years ago. He always worked full time and paid the mortgage. He didn't even have a Will. MIL got the lot and confessed she had been cheating on her husband. She still gets his pension, sold the house and married the OM. That money all became their money. They have now split but I don't think she has updated her Will and at the moment I'm not even sure it goes to her 2 children. DH and his siblings have never seen a penny. Ultimately that's DH's dad's money.

My mum died when I was younger. My father had a large family home in south of England. He married again. He has recently died. My sibling and I are not entitled to anything. It has all been left to the new wife - assets that my mother worked hard to build up. I think she would be devastated to see that her children and grand children received nothing. I can't even get some paintings that my father did as they are in the house and the wife has refused, get your wills sorted.

I own our house. My husband can live in it with our children until they are 18, then it's theirs.

(In my will, I'm not just saying that as general conversation lol)

DH's dad died years ago. He always worked full time and paid the mortgage. He didn't even have a Will. MIL got the lot and confessed she had been cheating on her husband. She still gets his pension, sold the house and married the OM. That money all became their money. They have now split but I don't think she has updated her Will and at the moment I'm not even sure it goes to her 2 children. DH and his siblings have never seen a penny. Ultimately that's DH's dad's money

Irrespective of cheating, it was her money too! So he worked, did she stay home and raise his children and cook his dinners? Sounds like yes. Why you would think she didn't deserve to inherit her own house from her own husband is quite beyond me.