To charge rent to my newly returned daughter from uni who now has s job???

[plastique]

Daughter has been back from uni for a few months now and been working temporarily but now permenantly. So I want to know charge rent and bills is Ok? Or AIBU??

Sounds to me like QueenLiz's mother was at the seriously mean end of the spectrum, but it's fair enough to charge adults what they cost once they have an income of their own. I don't agree that because parents paid for the first 18 years it's then fine to recoup those costs through rent; I didn't have children as an investment!

DS2 used to pay me £200 a month even when he was unemployed, because that's about what it cost me for him to live here. I simply could not afford to subsidise another adult, being on a low, sporadic income myself. From his point of view he wasn't paying any rent, just costs, and he was good at doing his share of chores including his own laundry. He was lovely company and I did miss him when he got a job at the other end of the country, but was also glad he was able to spread his wings at last. DS4 is still here, currently not earning. Will I charge him keep once he does have an income? You bet. I won't try to recoup historical costs but covering day-to-day living costs will make a big difference to the household budget.

You think it fit behaviour to charge a 22 yo £400 a month in rent to live in a small room in the family home on a £16k salary in 2004?

Why did you go back to your mums house? On £16k a year, you could have continued to house share, just as you did as a student?

It is about control when you physically take all your adult daughters money and leave her with a fiver. Esp when there is £50k a year coming in - this was 25 years ago. She thought I'd never be able to leave if she took it all. Dad had no idea, until he overheard us arguing, he gave me a lump sum and I left, he left shortly after

Oh and I did expect to 'chip in' o offered her 200 a month at the start, she said no, if you live her you give me your wage and I'll give you an allowance.

Well yes that's clearly wrong city

Where is this idea coming from that people in their 20s need to be molly coddled by not paying the going rate for rent and being subsidised.

I bought my first house when I was 22. And before anyone says Housing Crisis - this was 3 years ago in the middle of it and i simply saved hard with 2 min wage jobs . I've not seen a penny from my parents since I was 17.

I'm all for helping children grow, but it is more help to teach the reality of life. Give a man a fish, teach a man to fish and all that.

It's really interesting reading the different responses here!

We took "dig" money off our DC when they were here - it wasn't really enough to cover much but they needed to learn about budgeting etc. to some degree.

My parents generation used to actually hand over their wage packets to their Mums who doled out spending money to them

I paid digs money to my folks too when I was still at home and working - all fair enough IMHO.

If you are on a low household income, you lose money when your child is no longer a child. Tax credits and child benefit stop, to the tune of a couple of hundred pounds a month, but your outgoings don't suddenly decrease.

Now I suppose I could have kicked my son out the day he turned 18 and left him to fend for himself, but I chose the more humane option of asking him to contribute his share of household expenditure instead.

Kitkat absolutely, but not for 3-4 times what it cost to have a bed sit and feed myself, my parents didn't get any benefits and since they afforded to send 3 kids to expensive boarding schools, money was not an issue . As I said before I will charge my kids a reasonable board when the time comes.

Heynannynanny
How much were you earning? How much did you have to pay your parents in rent?
How much deposit did you personally save and how long did it take you?

itsbetterthanabox

I was earning £16,000 in my day job and ran an eBay business on the side which bought in another £100 a week aroundabouts - couldn't say the hourly rate on that one but significantly less than min wage!
I also worked weekends in London nannying for another £150 (after tax) a week.
I had NO life.

I lived with my parents for all of 2 weeks when I came home from my gapyear and rent was £75 a week. I moved into a bedsit locally for about £85 a week and then rented a house with my then DP for £500 a month plus bills (maybe £250 a month?) split evenly between us.

I personally saved a deposit of £8k and it probably took about 2-2.5 years.

I now live in London and an £8k deposit would get me NOWHERE so its probably relevant to say that all of the above was in a middle range area of the Midlands.

It's fair to expect her to pay something towards living at home, so YANBU.

However, I think it sounds awful to "charge rent" to your children. Asking for them to pay their keep, or charging board sounds much nicer, even if her "board" is exactly the same amount as her "rent"!

If you're worried about asking for a set amount, could you ask her to contribute to specific bills instead? She can pay for the gas and electric, or the water rates or broadband?

It's perfectly normal to expect them to pay something.

i havent read the full thread, but my DD has returned from uni and is working now. The first month was rent free but from then on she was paying 'housekeeping' by standing order into my account. I'm going to try and save it for her as she hopes to study furher next year and will need ££ for that.

My DS who began an apprenticeship in June also contributes but a smaller amount. Same rule for him - first month 'free' then a SO set up.

Will do my best to save it for him too.

If you can afford it, rather than charge her rent make her her responsible for specific outgoings by direct debit. It will improve her payment/credit history & help her to manage money.

If you don't need the cash surely its still good practice for her to pay rent and you can just put it to one side for later when she'll inevitably need it (deposit) or to pay off a chunk of her student debt

Depends on whether u need it or not. Why not agree how much she should save and set a date to have her out by?
I have been offered (provisionally) a graduate job with a starting salary in the £40ks - my parents have said they want £100 a month from me. This is toncover the food I will eat. They know I will be saving and don't want to detract from that.

Spice - I think your parents are making a good call. Good luck with your job and your savings!

Gym son is 16 works at tesco pt and gives us keep £35 a week I told him if he could find somwere else he could live for 35 month plus dinner wifi and lifts if not the zip it and pay up

Sorry 35 month not a week oops

Garth I think so too and thankyou