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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To charge rent to my newly returned daughter from uni who now has s job???

170 replies

plastique · 02/10/2016 18:02

Daughter has been back from uni for a few months now and been working temporarily but now permenantly. So I want to know charge rent and bills is Ok? Or AIBU??

OP posts:
SuperPug · 02/10/2016 21:05

Yes- perhaps give her some time to get settled and enjoy having a pay packet. After a few months, I remember paying my parents £150 per month- I wasn't earning that much, otherwise it would have been more.

Chippednailvarnishing · 02/10/2016 21:06

That's exactly what my parents did, it's not exactly a big deal. Nor is it horrible, given that we are talking about adults.

BabyGanoush · 02/10/2016 21:13

I would not charge my kids (or any family) for living with me, just cannot imagine it.

they can always come back to me, if they need to get back on their feet.

Pisssssedofff · 02/10/2016 21:18

My children's father has taken me to the cleaners, maybe he could provide the four bedroomed house required for them into adulthood because I sure as hell wont be able to. But given he's not done it for them as kids they aren't holding their breath

Needfinsnow · 02/10/2016 21:36

As a side..my parents have a building firm and they built my brothers a 4 bed house each. Company paid materials and company paid wages whilst they built. My brothers have the most tiny mortgage which only covers the cost of plumbers and electricians. They pay less a month in mortgage than I do rent. And the houses are boiler free and heated by atmosphere etc. Zero fuel bills as the "plNt room" sorts it all out!

mirime · 02/10/2016 21:50

I gave my mum a quarter of my wages, up until my dp and I were saving for a house deposit when my mum told me to add the money to our savings instead.

Not unreasonable to ask for a contribution.

BITCAT · 02/10/2016 21:55

My son is almost 18..he has paid me 50pound per week since he started working. That includes food, washing done, folded use of all amenities and no way he would get that round here. Can't even get a room for less than 80pound per week.

BITCAT · 02/10/2016 22:04

I could not afford to not charge him. And I want him to get used to having to budget for rent etc. I have 3 other kids so if I didn't charge him it's them that would feel the shortfall..I'm renting and I can not afford to keep him. We have a low income..That's just the way it is for some of us. He was told when he decided to quit college that he would have to pay his way as I would cease to get child benefit or tax credits for him anymore.

tofutti · 02/10/2016 22:09

Queenliz

I think £400pm was excessive. My mum asked for £200pm, and she did need the money.

Did your mum need the money for rent, food etc? Seems very harsh to be upping the rent to £500, then £600.

InsertWittyPunHere · 02/10/2016 22:18

I was charged 25% of whatever I earnt while I lived at Home - including while I was in study and parents claimed ctb and WTC for me.

It ranged from £40 to £300 a month over the four years I lived at home and worked.

I thought that other than the time where they also got CTB and WTC ... 25% was a totally suitable amount and was very fair. I also did set cleaning jobs per week.

Could you maybe approach it in a similar fashion - say 20% and dishes x 3 a week, hoover x 3 a week etc?

phoenix1973 · 02/10/2016 22:23

Yanbu.
Charge away!

BITCAT · 02/10/2016 22:28

See whilst they are in full time education i do get cb and ctc for them..part time work..I will not take a penny from them because there food etc is covered. But once they leave full time education I do need the contribution. What my partner earns just about covers our rent. I can't work anymore for medical reasons. I think 200pound per month is reasonable and he eats a lot and showers a lot..he also has his gf over a lot..and she also uses the amenities so I think I'm reasonable.

ollieplimsoles · 02/10/2016 22:35

I would never charge my offspring to live in their own house 'out of principle' only if I genuinely needed it to pay the bills and I was struggling.

Me and dp had to save and save and save to afford to move out together into a rented house, now we are saving for our own home.

If I had to give my parents rent at some of the rates pps are suggesting, I would have never gained my independence.

The worst reason to charge adult dcs rent is 'its still way cheaper than renting somewhere themselves'

itsbetterthanabox · 02/10/2016 23:05

Marmelized
I don't understand why you are giving half of your daughters money to her sister?

SpareASquare · 02/10/2016 23:41

Thankfully I have the kind of children who WANT to contribute to the household. First thing my son said when he started working was that he WILL be paying board. Those in full time education do not but they find other sneaky ways to ensure they contribute something.

citybushisland · 03/10/2016 01:42

wow, in 1991 I had to hand over my whole wage to my parents every payday. I was earning £600 a month after tax, she then gave me £5 a week spending money. I was 21, had been away at uni. Needless to say I moved out as soon as I could, Mum didnt speak to me or allow me in the house for about 8 years.

DustyOfSkye · 03/10/2016 01:58

Queenliz your experience sounds bloody awful. I can't even get my head around parents actually making money from their children. Yes, I get the contributing to bills but fucking hell, your mum sounds like she was taking the piss.

Also, was she declaring the extra income? Because you're supposed to. And legally your home is subject to a proportion of capital gains tax if you've ever let it out wholly or partially. So your mum was breaking the law if she didn't declare the extra income coming in for letting out a room in her tax return.

Just saying.

DustyOfSkye · 03/10/2016 02:12

*although if you were the only "lodger", CGT doesn't apply

itsbetterthanabox · 03/10/2016 02:18

Pissssedoff
You left home at 18 owning your own home? No help?

Pisssssedofff · 03/10/2016 07:02

I left uni at 21 and we used our student grants as the deposit on our house, no help and before anyone says oooooh that was back in the day.
I landed in the U.K. 18 months ago with 4 kids, 4 suitcases and a £2,000 overdraft and I'm exchanging contracts on a house in two weeks hopefully. If you've no choice you have to make it happen.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 03/10/2016 07:09

DD and her bf (both 20) pay 20 per week cash between them. This includes them doing all the housework, lawnmowing and Kondoing the attic. Really, it's to show commitment to adulthood and cover the broadband. Bf is lovely, the kind of young man I wish I'd been, and it's a pleasure to watch him eat.

tofutti · 03/10/2016 07:12

citybushisland

Shock Was your mum angry that she was losing her 'cash cow' when you left 'home'?

How did she justify letting you keep only 0.8% of your wages?

Pisssssedofff · 03/10/2016 07:18

Cash cow ? I bet all the benefits money went on the child and once the child is not a child and benefits aren't provided then if you aren't in a position to support them the child (that is now an adult) has to you know be an adult

citybushisland · 03/10/2016 08:13

My dad was on a high salary, it wasn't about the money it was about control. Fwiw I will charge mine board when they start earning, probably 25% of take home, we'll have to see when the time comes.

Pisssssedofff · 03/10/2016 08:20

It's not controlling to expect you to chip in though, it may well have been about that too, but people still have to pay their way

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