To charge rent to my newly returned daughter from uni who now has s job???

[plastique]

Daughter has been back from uni for a few months now and been working temporarily but now permenantly. So I want to know charge rent and bills is Ok? Or AIBU??

Bit of a leap chorli.

It's a work in progress going from dependent child to working adult.

Not unreasonable to charge rent but not offering doesn't equate entitled jackass either.

Choli that's a bit harsh! She's a naive 21 year old possibly a bit spoilt but that's my fault hence my issue with asking! I'd love to indulge all my kids but in the end it's not doing anyone any favours

Well that was constructive chorli

Thank you Jessica Xx

Oh Dd said oh ok that is fine not entitled and jackassy at all 😊

YADNBU to charge her for the money that it costs to have her in the house in terms of increased bill payments, food etc.

However in general I think it is unreasonable to charge children rent that is not tied to bills. The housing situation is so bad that they probably need everything they can possibly save towards their own deposit for a rented or bought property. I am also a bit uncomfortable about profiting from being able to charge rent on a property you own at a time when your children are almost certainly going to find it so much harder ever to be in that position.

I therefore think that you probably do need to work out roughly how much your bills have increased - or if you can't work it out then charge her a nominal amount of £25 a week or so.

Thanks MrsJayy, best just to bite the bullet and hope for the same reaction xx

We told dd when she was 16 and working part time while at college that she would have to start paying housekeeping. 10% of her monthly wage plus her phone contract as she wanted to upgrade to a more expensive phone. All good, I saved the money and gave it to her when she got her 1st car. She's now working full time, still pays 10% and half goes into an ISA so I can help her out when she wants to buy a place of her own.
Both dds have known they would have to contribute when they started working and have never complained

Common approach among friends has been to charge two amounts, one amount that covers their food, bills etc that goes towards those things. The other amount is a proportion of their salary equivalent to what they would pay in rent, so between a quarter and a third of take home. Most people save this for their children to use as a deposit later, but the idea seems to be they get used to having a fair chunk of their salary having to go on sensible but boring rent payments not all being to spend... also makes staying at home indefinitely a tad less appealing!

Dd is earning a very good salary she could well afford to move out if she wanted it suits her to stay here atm

I think charging the going rate is a good idea tbh, no way will they save it up given the option. I have friends living at home at 28/30 because they are living the dream at their parents expense, but it's the parents fault because they've never Instilled basic life skills into them

Pisssssedof that's what I'm scared of, sick of being her best friend! I want to see her make a mark in life !!

If she pays a third of her net salary it would still give her the rest to spend on herself.

Still don't get this "bite the bullet" thing though.

Sorry, cross post there.

Then don't bank roll her

And I reckon you are scared of her, or at least scared of her response when you (finally) stand up to her

Ilovesooty, just personal set up makes me more protective that's all, nothing at all strange but more sensitive towArds her X

Hmm.. at 21 I was perfectly able to save my own money and look after my finances and would have been very offended if my parents had charged me "rent" as a way of forcing me to save. I think some of these responses (by no means all) veer towards being a bit dismissive about people in their twenties.

On the other hand I can see that if you would rather your children moved out, charging them rent is a good way of forcing them to think about that! It's just that in my experience most young people live at home in their twenties because they still need parental financial support. Given the state of the rental market I don't really understand why you wouldn't support your child with rent free accommodation if they are trying to find their feet and you trust that they are intending to move out eventually. But maybe I just come at this from a London perspective, where it seems much more common for people in their 20s either to live at home rent free in the early year or two of a career or to be supported by their parents paying their private rent or deposit.

Op, your terminology tells the story

"bite the bullet"

being her "best friend"

"hoping" for a reasonable reaction

being "dubious" about a perfectly reasonable request that someone pays their own way

Andintothefire... I'm london bad d too

I've never been my kids best friends, one is a horrible little bitch and whilst I love her and tell her that I am counting the days down until she moves out and she won't be allowed back no matter what she offers to pay. Doesn't sound like your situation is like that though

Yes work out a sensible sum that will suit you both, it will help her later

Is there a back story then ?

London based too.... I meant

Francis