Sorry. This is ranty & long.
DS (16) has a GF (also 16). They have been on a total of 5 dates, the last 2 of which have been at my house. Two weeks ago, whilst supposedly babysitting for younger DS, the 2 of them locked themselves away in his room & had sex. Youngest DS left to his own devices doing lord knows what (he's 12). I was angry when I found out because whilst I appreciate they are both of age, there is a time & a place & DS was supposed to be responsible for younger brother. Also, I feel that at their age, 5 dates is way too few for them to behave as though they have the right to do whatever they like in my home.
We talked it through & I believed DS had understood how irresponsible & disrespectful he had been. We specifically talked about how it isn't ok to be getting on when youngest DS or DH & I are at home. I also said I felt they didn't really know each other yet either & he should think about that before being driven by his hormones.
This evening, GF comes over & DS repeatedly asks me if they can go upstairs. I say no, they can hang out in the den (old playroom now teen-space). DS keeps the door shut & we don't think too much of it as we are literally no more than 5 metres away from them in the kitchen (oh how fucking niaive am I??!!). Then GF appears in hallway, grins at us (we were in the kitchen), grabs handful of tissue from downstairs loo & retreats back to den. DH & I exchange looks of "WTAF" & are rendered speechless. We confront DS after she left & he 'fesses up...not before doing his best Bill Clinton denials.
I am livid. I feel they have both behaved disrespectfully & deliberately gone against my rules. It is my understanding that her parents are very strict & would also be furious to hear this. I actually don't know how to take this forward from here.
AIBU?
To be livid with DS?
Ujjayi · 02/10/2016 00:54
NannyOgg my gut feeling is that she is using him to get experience, whilst flirting ourageously with DS's best friend (who is perceived as cooler & bigs himself up as a "playa" 
)
PaddyPants that's my point exactly - that any one of us could have walked in on them. As for taking them to a bc appt, I would be happy to but DS telling me in very plain English that it's none of my business & I shouldn't be getting involved.
So I turned the tables: put to him the "what if your DF & I closed sitting room door & started having sex whilst you are sat in the next room" & also prospect of me shagging imaginary new partner in house after just 3-5 dates whilst DS home. He can see that those scenarios are awkward & unacceptable but still adamant it is somehow ok for him & GF to do this
Does she def know about your rules? I don't mean to accuse your son but I distinctly remember a bf when in was that age telling me anything goes under his roof and his dad was completely cool with it.....it definitely wasn't 
They might be 'old enough' to be having sex, but I'm pretty sure if she falls pregnant they wouldn't be all big and bolshy adults then. They are still little nippers and shouldn't be getting ahead of themselves. Definitely tell her mother, she should know what her daughter is getting up to.
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