AIBU to be upset by SIL's behaviour

[RedRoosterLondon]

I lost my dad six months ago. He wasn't wealthy but he did own a house. As we live in London he put in our (my sister and myself) names to minimise inheritance tax when he died.

Because he had used a good solicitor things and had a simple will went through quickly, so we were able to sell the house a few weeks ago.

My sister in law has asked for a loan for 300k - to rescue her failing business. I refused and have been called every name under the sun, because she knows I have iit.

My husband wants me to help her. AIBU to say no.

YANBU. 300k is her taking the effing piss. I wouldn't give it to her either!

I think your husband is being ridiculous too. You have no way of knowing why her business is failing nor do you have any guarantees that your money would save it. Then you'd be out 300k! As for her calling you names because you won't give her the money...I'd be telling her in no uncertain terms that she can get bent.

personally I would have laughed long and hard!

Even the dragons on dragons den don't lend that much!

Stupid of her to ask, she must be desperate. Tie up the money, then no one can ask again.

YANBU!
Would SIL have asked your father for 300K? Just say to DH that this is not something your father would have approved of, he can't argue with that.

It's a no from me!

Where are you OP?

Yanbu. Its never a good idea especially if she can't pay it back as this can cause a lot of bad feeling all round..she is being very unreasonable by calling you names for saying no which is entirely your choice and you have your own reasons.

She can get to fuck and your DH should support you.

YANBU, but in the spirit of Mumsnet, write her a cheque and then cancel it

OP, can I have some cash? Seems about as reasonable as your SiL demanding a wedge. And can you wrap it up with a bow? And give me a kidney while you're at it?

No chance! What an idiot to ask for so much money

And have a good hard look at your current relationship.

Would love to know what the update is from OP. I'd not touch this with a barge pole.

Sorry but it IS YOUR money - he was your dad. ((( huggs sorry for your loss - I also lost my dad last year))).

Keep the money well away from a failing business .. and your husband!
SIL's business is failing, it's not viable - take my advice from personal experience - even if it's your own business... do not throw good money after bad.

If the business was viable in anyway she could get a business loan.
You are YANBU!

If the business is failing it seems like a dire thing to do to plough a fortune into it. Of course YANBU and if my husband thought the way yours did I'd be gobsmacked, furious and frustrated. Tell them all to take a hike- it's so offensive. "We know you have it therefore we want it!" Wow your SIL is an entitled bitch.

Your dad, I am sure, wanted you and your sister to have the money. YANBU at all. If she wants a loan, she should go to the bank. The money is yours, it's your inheritance to last for the rest of your lives.

Lending money to family is always fraught,

£300k is a lot of wonga. If her business is failing & the bank won't lend it, then that should tell you something.

I would only do so if it was a sure bet and to be honest, this doesn't seem the case here.

Your dad worked hard to build his own house and leave to you and your sister. He would only want you to do this provided you could be guaranteed you would get it back with interest.

Tell your SIL (who is clearly desperate enough to attempt to bully you into giving her the money) that you would be disrespecting your dad's wishes and memory. Who of us would want anything we left to our children to be grabbed up by a grasping, entitled and pushy in-law?

Talk about brass neck! Some people have no shame.

Don't do it!
Bang out of order to ask for that type of money

YANBU! I wouldn't lend my SIL money, but that aside, it's your inheritance and your husband needs to realise that family Ioyalty should not condone foolishness! That would buy a decent house in most of the country, it's not a fiver!

Agree with everyone else - please please don't do it. Your father wouldn't want you to I am sure. Plus I would never give anyone money withour going to solicitors and writing it into a legal contract. Keep that money in your name as well, as otherwise "the family" may decide to use it for you....!!

Hell fucking no.

Your SIL and DH need to fuck off.

Her business would fail with your 300k, say no and don't be bullied.

Goodness me. No. No. No.

That is a hell of a lot of money to lend someone OP,even if they are family. If you have any doubts or misgivings whatsoever about it,you shouldn't lend it. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

What a bloody nerve to even ask and your DH should have told her not to even ask - it's money for you and your immediate family but what would happen if it was all lost (which it probably would be if she needs that much to get her out of hot water) ....... can you imagine her ever doing the same for you (or you even asking) - doubt it ....... say absolutely NO!!!

No, please don't lend her the money. Even if the business is not failing...she had no right and has a damn nerve. Please see a solicitor pronto about how to keep the money safe and out of reach of your DH. He may go behind your back if not now then later.

Yanbu!! Thats a MASSIVE amount. £3k maybe but not £300k!
Also, sorry about your dad x