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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset by SIL's behaviour

303 replies

RedRoosterLondon · 01/10/2016 23:58

I lost my dad six months ago. He wasn't wealthy but he did own a house. As we live in London he put in our (my sister and myself) names to minimise inheritance tax when he died.

Because he had used a good solicitor things and had a simple will went through quickly, so we were able to sell the house a few weeks ago.

My sister in law has asked for a loan for 300k - to rescue her failing business. I refused and have been called every name under the sun, because she knows I have iit.

My husband wants me to help her. AIBU to say no.

OP posts:
sparechange · 02/10/2016 00:11

There is no way on earth you should be giving her the money. Is it a loan or investment?
She should have other avenues. She can remortgage her own house?
If the business can be saved with a £300k investment, and can recover well enough that she can repay the loan, there will be investors easily able to come along with the money.
If they won't invest, it is because they don't see the business as viable.

What sort of business is it?

EatsShitAndLeaves · 02/10/2016 00:12

Your DH sounds like a twat.

It's money left to you that might well improve the situation of your family - depending on how YOU choose to spend it.

Original poster
RedRoosterLondon · 02/10/2016 00:12

Oh nope not in a joint account. That money's for my kids. (From first marriage.)

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/10/2016 00:12

I'd tell her to get to fuck.

I can't believe the cheek of her and your DH too.

crashdoll · 02/10/2016 00:14

I'm rarely shocked by this sort of thing but this has really got me Shock. Fucking cheek. £300k on a failing business? You might as well flush it down the bog.

Stand your ground against them both.

IAmTheWhoreOfBabylon · 02/10/2016 00:15

Ah your DH sister
Cheeky fuckers. Put them straight and stand firm

bloodyteenagers · 02/10/2016 00:16

I would also email the pair of them letting them know that the inheritance from your father will not be loaned to your SIL to temporarily float her sinking ship of a business. That if the business was viable she could quiet easily get a loan from a bank, or remortgage her property. And that your decision has been further cemented by the behaviour from her, as you don't appreciate being sworn at. So you hope you can all draw a line under this and move forward, because realistically if your father had not died and you inherited this, what would have been her plan? This is what she needs to focus on, insist of throwing venom your way. That you understand that your husband is torn, but it's not up to him how to spend your inheritance.

I would do this by email so if shit gets nasty you have some written documentation.

BuggerMyOldBoots · 02/10/2016 00:16

Ring-fence that money to fuck. Make sure nobody can touch it except you and the kids when they are older

Is sil the golden child by any chance?

Finola1step · 02/10/2016 00:16

Hold on to that money! That level of money gives you an incredible level of independence. Is this why your dh wants you to piss it up the wall?

300K for a failing business? In no way shape or form would I even begin to consider loaning/investing that level of money in something that wont give me a decent return within 12 months. Not a chance. Does she think you're a member of Dragon's Den?

Starryeyed16 · 02/10/2016 00:17

Glad to hear the money is protected for your children, is your DH aware of what you intention to do? His attitude about the money is quite concerning.

bloodyteenagers · 02/10/2016 00:17

Even better then. I would be looking at putting the money into an investment for the children, and in their names.

mumgointhroughtorture · 02/10/2016 00:17

Well Hes showing where his loyalties lie isnt he OP ? money brings out the worst in some people.
£300k like hell would I help her out . Let some other mug bail her out . YANBU tell your "D" H to go and get a loan solely in his name for it . Coz this smells disaster to me !

mydietstartsmonday · 02/10/2016 00:18

No,no, no,do not even thing about it. Buy it is your money not his!

ollieplimsoles · 02/10/2016 00:19

Hide that money op, 300k- they can fuck themselves! What's the business?

notapizzaeater · 02/10/2016 00:20

300k what guarantees have you ? I'd never lend that much .... Can she not raise it in her own ? And if not why ? If the business is profitable (unlikely if she needs this money to stay afloat) then she should be able to get money from a bank

BuggerMyOldBoots · 02/10/2016 00:20

This is why if I won the lottery I'd tell no one

People can turn into right weirdos when they find out someone else has come into ££££. A real "what's mine is thine" attitude. They wouldn't expect you to share your paycheck

BuggerMyOldBoots · 02/10/2016 00:20

*what's thine is mine that should be

HeddaGarbled · 02/10/2016 00:22

You need to see a solicitor about making that money secure for your children because as things stand at the moment, if you split up, he will be entitled to half.

HSMMaCM · 02/10/2016 00:22

Definitely see a solicitor and find out how to get that money in trust for your children.

HSMMaCM · 02/10/2016 00:23

And then watch their faces when you say you don't have it any more.

ohfourfoxache · 02/10/2016 00:23

Holy fuck no no no no no no no no no no no no.

Did I mention no?

Your "d"h's attitude is really very worrying. Please make sure that he can't get his hands on it.

DustyOfSkye · 02/10/2016 00:23

Ignore your sil. She is being utterly ridiculous and embarrassing herself.

It's your DH that needs tackling. What on earth are his reasonings for wanting you to "loan" 300k into a failing business? Does he realise that if your sil goes bankrupt, you'll never see that money again? Sounds very odd to me.

DixieWishbone · 02/10/2016 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Canyouforgiveher · 02/10/2016 00:24

He says it's not "my" money, it's 'our' money.

Tell him he is married to you and not his sister. Where do his loyalties lie.

DustyOfSkye · 02/10/2016 00:25

Oh, the thread's moved on! Ha, x posted with a whole page! Grin

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