AIBU to be upset by SIL's behaviour

[RedRoosterLondon]

I lost my dad six months ago. He wasn't wealthy but he did own a house. As we live in London he put in our (my sister and myself) names to minimise inheritance tax when he died.

Because he had used a good solicitor things and had a simple will went through quickly, so we were able to sell the house a few weeks ago.

My sister in law has asked for a loan for 300k - to rescue her failing business. I refused and have been called every name under the sun, because she knows I have iit.

My husband wants me to help her. AIBU to say no.

it doesn't belong to your dh it belongs to you. absolutely don't give it to her unless you never want to see it again. what a cheek!

we don't share each other's inheritance. i inherited 10k from my dad. my dh inherited more than 10x that amount. i wouldn't dream of thinking it has anything to do with me.

Get the money out of your name. See a solicitor and put it in trust for your kids. Once it's under the control of trustees they are legally the "owners" of that money.

Bloody hell! They must've concocted this plan while you had just heard the news, and started grieving? I'm with the others who are questioning the validity of sil needing that money.. It really does sound likely that it's more a ploy to deprive you and your kids from first marriage of the money.he'd be in control then, if you had no access to the money you needed. Is the £300,000 the bulk/total of your inheritance? And do you have DC with your DP? I'm sorry you've been put in this position, goes to show that money dors funny things to some people...

True, about the dragons

Wow-This is horrid. What the hell is the business that needs that much money to save it?!

Under no circumstances, should you loan her ANY money, her business is FAILING !
What is wrong with your silly husband ?
Watch your back OP, you will only have this money once.😡

Legal advice pronto!

THREE HUNDRED GRAND! Fuck me that's outrageous. So outrageous i would just laugh whenever it was mentioned. I don't think i could help myself.

You should ask her to do a Dragons Den style presentation, then pull lots of Debra Meaden faces and say, 'it's a no for me. I'm out'.

As for family money, i kind of agree to a point, in that i would expect my DH to use a large chunk of inheritance money for the good of our family (as he has done recently, we bought a bigger house) and the agreement/expectation is that when my parents pass i away i will do the same (i would take a dim view to us all being cramped in a small house and dh having hundreds of thousands in the bank). However, i would expect there to be an agreement there, i.e. if one of you doesn't agree to where the other wants the money to be spent then it doesn't go there. Like buying a house, you both need to agree. It's different if you have dc from a previous marriage tho.

Take the very good advice from Electricboobs.

Exactly coconutty. If somebody was a bitch to you, you would give them a tenner!

Don't give her a penny. Your dad didn't pay a mortgage off for god knows how many years so you could pass it straight to her.

That's one fucked up failing business if 300k is needed to rescue it.

Put the money in an account with just your name.
Tell your dh it's your inheritance and you can't believe he's willing to risk yiur late dad's money like that.

Cheeky sods, the pair of them.
I'd put the money in trusts for the children so no one has access.

I should add to my earlier advice - I work in private trust. But offshore.

There may be tax to pay on U.K. Based trusts. Get advice. Get independent trustees (hence solicitors) so they can't be badgered by dh/sil. Get it drawn up so only your children have access when they hit 18/21/25/30 (one or all of the above a client of mine set his so on each milestone birthday his kids get £20k).

Trust fund should be managed so as to protect and enhance. Maybe invest a chunk in High dividend paying stocks (get advice for this).

That's what I would do.

YANBU.

I'm sorry for the loss of your father.

There is no way I would loan anyone that amount of money, especially not to a "failing" business. There are obviously major problems before the business needs this amount of a cash injection to save it.

Your husband is being unreasonable for suggesting it even though it is his sister.

You are right to put this aside for your children's future, your father sounded like a very sensible man when it came to your inheritance. I'm sure you want to invest it wisely.

Get copies of her business accounts from companies house. Ask her for her business plan to save the failing business. Get a qualified person to look over these and then give her their response. I doubt any one will advise you to invest.

Yanbu

But if she does that blue it gives the impression that she's considering it.

Yanbu. Never lend any money unless you are prepared never to get it back. £300k is insane! How does she propose to ever pay it back, especially since her business is failing! So don't.

Anyway this I think is more about your relationship with your husband than your SILs money troubles to be honest. Sorry about your Dad to, your DH should be supporting you through the grieving process not trying to pressurise you into giving your money away.

Absolutely don't lend the money. If it's a good business proposition the bank will lend it to her.

I agree with the others that your DH's position in this is questionable. £300k for a failing business is an absolute piss-take.

If SIL's business has a registered company number, you can go to a website called Creditsafe and get a free company report, that includes the financials. I would bet that SIL's company will show a load of debt if it's on there, and the £300k is to pay off what she already owes.

See a solicitor and put the money in trust for your children asap.

Do not be bullied or coherced OP, be empowered by the MN brigade. 😄🌺

Amber, I was suggesting it as the Sil seems a bit delusional about business success and would give weight to OPs decision not to lend. Agree that there is an additional issue with DH.