To think that buying "stuff" is getting out of hand?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Let me preface by saying I am not a lentil knitting vegan eco-warrior. I buy stuff, I drive, I fly abroad on holiday and we don't grow our own food.

However. Since I have had my first child - only 13 years ago - the culture of buying "stuff" seems to have boomed and I don't think it's positive. Supermarkets and other shops are full of (mainly plastic) tat which people are encouraged to buy for every festival imaginable - Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, New Year, Christmas, Halloween - the list is endless.

You can't just have a pumpkin lantern for Halloween any more - you have to have fairy lights, cupcake cases, scary decorations, glow in the dark skeletons, adult AND child costumes, bunting, paper chains, etc etc etc. And nearly everything sold is poor quality or designed to be used once or twice and thrown away.

Clothing is the same - chains like the supermarkets, Primark, New Look or H&M are all about churning out clothes as cheaply as possible, designed to be worn for a few weeks or months and then chucked.

It's just all so wasteful and crazy. We are filling up landfills at a rate of knots with all of our plastic crap and disposable clothing and teaching our kids that celebrating festivals and special days isn't about being nice to each other or spending time making or finding a special gift, it's about buying as much "stuff" as you can as cheaply as you can and then chucking it out when you're finished.

All a bit depressing really.

Sorry, it's actually £3.75 for a 3 pack.

I'm not sure I get your point, Summerhols, it's been a while since I bought babygros but 3 for £3.75 sounds reasonable to me.

I suppose it's what you expect charity shops are for. Are they about maximising income for the charity concerned or are they shops where people can buy cheap stuff?

My point is - if I can buy 3 babygros conveniently for £3.75 why would I go to Oxfam to buy a single babygros for £4.99?
It's all very well people talking about waste and buying second hand to be environmentally responsible but why would I do that when it is much much cheaper to buy brand new?
Tis the reason I rarely buy anything in charity shops.

And of course charity shops need to maximise income for the cause but selling things for morecthanbthey would cost brand new in other shops is frankly ridiculous and isn't going to maximise sales and hence income.

Quite agree - I can't see the sense in pricing things for more than they were new, unless they're antique, limited edition or somehow special.

You have to remember though that charity shops are mostly staffed by volunteers, not all of whom can tell their Tu from their Hobbs or Prada. Some of the older volunteers in our shop price brands like Atmosphere at higher prices because they aren't familiar with it and assume it's similar to Karen Millen or Reiss. If stuff doesn't sell, the price is reduced. It's in nobody's interest to have stock sitting in the shop and not selling.

This is hands down the best thread I've read in a long time. It's refreshing to find people with a similar outlook on life and who are actually asking the question, 'What can we do about it?' rather than just moaning as is so often the case (I include myself in that!)

Plenty of time to stop tat exchange - contact usual adult present givers and declare a ceasefire. Martin lewis calls it a NUPP - no unnecessary presents pact.

This hopefully prevents the dreaded 'gift' - reeking candles, horrible perfume, slimy cosmetics, novelty mugs and all that crap.

Great thread, op. I am really trying to reduce our outgoings, and not going anywhere near the shops has really helped - if I don't see it, I don't feel like I need it. I do go to a lot of charity shops / jumble sales though and am having to be very strict with myself about what we actually need in the house.

A few years ago, my side of the family decided on a £5 limit for Christmas presents, which has been wonderful - I can budget for the maximum I will spend and often spend less. We have all given a lot of second hand or home made gifts. My nanny buys every man a new set of marksies black socks and my dh looks forward to receiving these each year! I give my aunt a new notebook each year and keep an eye out all year for a really pretty one. We find a lot of thought goes into the gifts that are given and I really love thinking carefully about what everyone would like.

On dh's side, we do a secret Santa, which works well for budgeting and less tat.

The children don't get much compared to others, but I could still work on that. We often give an experience to my two older ds's and that has gone down well. We were thinking of a joint present to all of us of a weekend at center parcs this year, but just considering if youngest ds will understand the concept.

I love hallowe'en, we normally have a party with apple bobbing and 'scary food' but we don't give out plastic tat!

This is the thing that's often assumed if you're cash poor you will be time rich, well no often it's both and you've no money and no time to be rooting around in charity shops either.

Summer - yes, I do have a child at home (now a teenager) but I guess I have never been into the 'piles of presents' scenario that some families have - he is an only child as well so perhaps he doesn't get as 'keyed up' about it all as brothers and sisters might. And we have often gone somewhere overseas and expensive over Christmas so he has always understood that the holiday is part of the 'Christmas experience' as well.

I've never said I have a 'no present' rule for children - but we certainly don't go 'overboard' - and yes, we are probably frightfully middle class about it .

We always used to make things for teachers as children and I'm not convinced that the needle cases I remember making or the bookmarks were ever used either and are any better than the stuff people are buying nowadays.

I usually give a bottle of Prosecco ;-) At least it's something which can be passed on if the teacher doesn't like it. (Although teaching my kids, I'm sure all their teachers have a healthy appetite for alcohol).

I agree and although I am not well off at all, I do spend hundreds and hundreds of pounds on my DD's birthday parties and Xmas celebrations, plus quite a lot on Easter and Halloween. I am quite frugal when it comes to nearly everything else but I want to make those occasions really special and not disappointing in any way and I don't really know how to do that without spending loads of money. I do feel guilty and silly for spending so much but now that I have started, if we cut back then I would worry she would notice it wasn't as good as usual. I would welcome advice though!

I think the problem is too, as other people have mentioned, the make do and mend outlook is out of favour with a lot of people...either they can't be bothered as they can replace it cheaply or they don't have the skills to mend/sew etc. i count myself very lucky that DH is v handy around the house, because he was taught by his dad, and joined in with his dad in plumbing, building etc, and likes to do it. But my daughters' partners neither have the interest, the skills or the motivation to make do/repair etc. Admittedly at least one works fairly long hours, but in their free time they all like to "game" and "chill" (can't remember ever "chilling" as a past time when we were younger...but all my kids and partners do it now....in front of screens) and that leaves less hours for making do and mending...which is what DH is actually doing right now! (cat flap!) People also don't know how, and don't want to know how, to sew and repair things, they can't be bothered.

Obviously society and the media encourage spending....it keeps the country's economy afloat but I agree, it's getting out of hand (and yes, I do it too....though try not to get too sucked in) I remember the days when you had two , possibley three bras (one in the wash, one out and one in a different colour such as black or white) and one winter coat and one, possibley two pairs of jeans. We weren't particularly poor either.

...forgot to add...but then years ago things cost more in relation to your income. Now things are a lot cheaper, a lot of people see shopping as a leisure activity and ofcourse it's easier to buy stuff...on line, in supermarkets as well as in town.
As for cheap verses expensive and whether you should pay more...well in my experience it varies...Primark stuff can last just as long as M&S stuff, and also it can bag, bobble and wear after only one wash (in which case I return it!) Think some labels and things are worth paying extra for, others, you are just paying for the name.

We're avoiders of stuff too.

At birthdays and Christmas we go out for a day trip or breakaway. After Christmas this year we are going to centreparks. We split the cost between 6 adults and what we have paid is all our gifts to eachother. It ended up being very reasonable and we get to spend 5 days together.

I hate Christmas because people are too busy shopping and can't give you the time of day to just sit with a coffee and talk. I just want peoples time, much more of a gift to me than junk.

I agree OP.

I have an agreement with other adult members of my extended family that we only buy Christmas presents for the kids, as none of us wants to pile more unwanted cr*p on each other! Obviously Dh and I exchange gifts, but that's it.

I heard a great line recently, which really made me think: "A house is a pile of possessions with a lid on it."

I had a very big clear out this summer and it was hugely cathartic (as well as doing Oxfam a lot of good).

My blue Primark hand towels are 7 years old and are still going strong. Bargain at £2 each.

I was an only child with no family in the country so Christmas was just me and parents, and being at boarding school meant not seeing friends at Christmas time, so it never occurred to me to buy zillions of presents - but in the last decade people have been shocked I haven't been buying loads of presents for friends, colleagues, wider family - presumably the types of people "gift items" are intended for.

We love Christmas but it's much more about visiting people and eating and drinking. Both DP and I grew up with parents who are almost hoarders simply because they were saving money and had some space. We got the same habit but are struggling to adjust to the new economy where space is at a premium but stuff can be replaced cheaply.

It's actually transport that is the main cost factor in London - I can get lovely replacement furniture any time I want, for free, because people are always giving it away. The alternative (and only cost to me) is paying to take it to the tip, so if you have a car you can get it instead - but no-one will take an old ripped sofa or a broken dishwasher (even the charities that take furniture, there's so much), so you have to do that.

Or contribute to the huge local fly-tipping problem - the council won't do any free collections any more, and many people can't afford £20 to have a broken pushchair/chest/sofa taken away.

I think we're wired to resist getting rid of stuff, which doesn't help. I don't want to send stuff to landfill but there's often no alternative.

Largely, I agree with you Luna, there's so much stuff available and it's not necessary to spend a lot of money to have a good time. I abhor the US import of Halloween and take no notice of it.

Happiness doesn't depend on things BUT the economy depends on us spending money and if everyone was like me (not overly into consumerism and make old clothes last) the country would be in a worse state than it is. Where do we draw the line sensibly?

I don't buy the tat, or in fact a lot of stuff.
It is just a bonkers culture that has taken hold. But not everyone does it.

I can't bear it. DH is a real hoarder & struggles to throw anything away. I've been through phases of "comfort shopping" I suppose over the years but am now trying to get rid of unnecessary stuff & being firm about not replacing it.

DS is older now so we've finally escaped the tsunamis of plastic tat -although there are still tons & tons of no-longer-played-with Lego around that DH wants to hang on to "in case".

I'd love a clutter-free home

I dont buy clothes and chuck them out, I have had some of my clothes 10 years, I look after them. However, got into a similar discussion with friends on a nite out, last nite, who were laughing at my 4 year old phone, saying it was an antique and I should upgrade it, WHY should I!!