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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that buying "stuff" is getting out of hand?

442 replies

LunaLoveg00d · 30/09/2016 15:35

Let me preface by saying I am not a lentil knitting vegan eco-warrior. I buy stuff, I drive, I fly abroad on holiday and we don't grow our own food.

However. Since I have had my first child - only 13 years ago - the culture of buying "stuff" seems to have boomed and I don't think it's positive. Supermarkets and other shops are full of (mainly plastic) tat which people are encouraged to buy for every festival imaginable - Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, New Year, Christmas, Halloween - the list is endless.

You can't just have a pumpkin lantern for Halloween any more - you have to have fairy lights, cupcake cases, scary decorations, glow in the dark skeletons, adult AND child costumes, bunting, paper chains, etc etc etc. And nearly everything sold is poor quality or designed to be used once or twice and thrown away.

Clothing is the same - chains like the supermarkets, Primark, New Look or H&M are all about churning out clothes as cheaply as possible, designed to be worn for a few weeks or months and then chucked.

It's just all so wasteful and crazy. We are filling up landfills at a rate of knots with all of our plastic crap and disposable clothing and teaching our kids that celebrating festivals and special days isn't about being nice to each other or spending time making or finding a special gift, it's about buying as much "stuff" as you can as cheaply as you can and then chucking it out when you're finished.

All a bit depressing really.

OP posts:
thenewaveragebear1983 · 30/09/2016 16:55

Yadnbu
It was my dc3's first birthday yesterday. He has no concept of presents. He has all clothes and toys handed down from ds1. He doesn't want for anything. We have quite a large 'present tree' and lots of people asked what he would like- we said, genuinely, nothing. But if you do want to give (obviously granny/grandad are going to give) then please a small contribution to a wooden climbing frame that we want for our new house. So, everyone gave him either small pointless presents 'to open' and money, or just ignored us and gave him gifts. We are very grateful that people care for him, but why ask if you don't listen to the answer?! We now have lots of new plastic stuff to move house with, hardly play with, and eventually get rid of.
I totally agree about hallowe'en stuff, Easter, Christmas- the shops are all full of Christmas tat already.

Original poster
LunaLoveg00d · 30/09/2016 17:35

I don't buy all the stuff which is available - but someone must as the shops wouldn't stock them if they didn't sell.

OP posts:
thenewaveragebear1983 · 30/09/2016 18:04

That's the thing though, I don't think people do. They can't possibly sell it all at full price so it ends up in the sales. So wasteful.

MotherOfMinions · 30/09/2016 18:32

Totally agree but you don't have to get sucked into it. I only go shopping when I need things and buy mid-range, decent quality stuff that will last a few years. The amount of tat available on the high street is mind boggling and it is worrying how much will end up in land fill polluting the envirOn net.

gillybeanz · 30/09/2016 20:47

Luna

It is totally true, every word you say. I was brought up in the 60's/70's so remember when people weren't so materialistic, rich and high consumerists.
I think it was the start of credit being acceptable and pushed onto people that did the harm tbh.
I can remember my parents doing without all sorts of things whilst they were saving up. My mum had a tin for everything and our clothes were patched. We weren't poor but our parents were born after the war/ during the war and had been brought up to be frugal.
I have been quite frugal and refused to get involved with it as much as possible.
But to some I might be a high consumer, because I buy the things I do.

Spiderpigspiderpig · 30/09/2016 21:26

Yanbu. My mil is a massive consumer. She shops shops shops and doesn't think at all about what she's buying. It's packaging that drives me mad

TwigletsMakeMeViolent · 30/09/2016 21:38

Yep, totally agree. The huge rise in consumerism over the past few decades has been horrifying. It will impact us in a so many ways but to most people the effects are abstract. Our comfortable lives can't (and definitely won't) last forever. (See also: the thread I started on climate change).

CombineBananaFister · 30/09/2016 21:47

YANBU - it makes me feel slightly queasy tbh, as its almost glutinous in nature. The highs people get from all their 'bargains' that sit in the bottom of the wardrobe unworn for a year after the thrills worn off then lobbed out to charity only to be replaced by more.

Nothings built to last and its easier to buy a new one than repair the old, I've had to do this Sad its just so bloody wasteful and it gives me a headache in some shops, the sheer volume of 'things'

I remember queuing for my free coat and school shoes (pits closed, parents skint) and having to make things last and its stayed with me, I suppose so it just isnt in my nature to 'buy for fun' even now when I can afford to.

ivykaty44 · 30/09/2016 21:52

It's all very well saying don't buy it...
But I want to wear ready made clothes ( not good at needle work and sewing) so I want to buy quality clothing but you need to seek items if quality

ivykaty44 · 30/09/2016 21:56

I brought a four slice toaster, it is on sale in shops at £££ but is poor quality and two slices have broken so bow only two work. It was 13 months when this happened. Delongli don't do repairs. I don't know how to repair it and not sure which make to try next for possible more ££££

jessica11054 · 30/09/2016 21:59

It's partly a space thing, Luna

We've nowhere to store Christmas decs so need to buy them new.

That being said I do agree there is an emphasis on consumerism but it doesn't worry me; I just don't buy a lot of the Halloween/bonfire night stuff.

EnidColeslaw771 · 30/09/2016 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whirlygirly · 30/09/2016 22:02

Totally agree. I hate seasonal tat and disposable fashion. I'm down to buying a few key quality pieces of clothing each season and have cashmere jumpers which are ancient but still look great.

I'm trying to reduce the amount we consume in general as a household but it's scary how much unsolicited stuff still gets in. Mil buys piles of presents for us all at Christmas and although it's very kind of her, the volume of it all makes me feel very uncomfortable. We've told her we'd rather she spend it on herself but I suspect the act of purchasing gives her real pleasure.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/09/2016 22:03

"I like to buy clothes that fall into the £15-£50 range and I don't get more than a years wear out of most of it. To get something that lasted me 5 years of have to do some pretty serious spending"

Most of my clothes cost me less than 20 and some have lasted more than 10 years. It's true that quality has been worse in recent years though, becoming bobbly after the first wash, for example.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/09/2016 22:08

I try not to spend too much myself, but while I think that's fine on a personal level, our economy would really suffer if we all started doing that in one go.

tinkletinklelittlestar · 30/09/2016 22:21

There does seem to be a large variety of everything everywhere now. And don't get me started on the crazy sales that coincide with US Thanksgiving.
Madness!

I just walk past the tat except for the sweets and occasionally reduced Christmas decorations.

NeonPinkNails · 30/09/2016 22:32

I agree with everything that's been said but is is very hard to turn your back on all the 'stuff' especially the way it's marketed. I don't think this level of consumerism can last forever though.

TeaAddict235 · 30/09/2016 22:43

With our exit from the EU, things will become markedly more expensive: clothes formerly imported from hungary or Bulgaria,
plastic items from Germany etc,
even black bag (landfill) waste (due to the EU landfill credits and tax where countries could swap credits for landfill space- now gone)

which should make people have to reduce the amount of items purchased

Notcontent · 30/09/2016 22:48

I agree with you OP. Part of the problem is that in relative terms, all this "stuff" has become really cheap. Clothes are a good example - I am a child so the 70s and I was a teenager in the late 80s and early 90s - you couldn't buy really cheap clothes like you can now. So clothes buying was a very considered process - people didn't buy things just to wear twice and then throw away.

buckingfrolicks · 30/09/2016 23:12

I think it was Lenin who said that to keep the people happy you need to give them bread and circuses.

Our modern replacement for circuses is tat.

It makes me angry, how we are cajoled and conned into buying shit

By "we" I mean the great Brit public. I don't buy much new at all

Took a load of garden waste to the local tip this week and could have cried at the fact that the biggest skips were for plastic. And the stuff that was in there! My god. We are drowning the planet in our shit

RortyCrankle · 30/09/2016 23:13

Not everyone is constantly buying stuff. I don't. My sofa was given to me by a family friend 15 years ago and I see no reason to replace it, doubly so because all of its cushions are filled with feathers and not crap foam and it's still the most comfortable sofa I have ever sat on. Same applies to my dining table and chairs only they were given to me 40 years ago. I still love them and have no intention of ever replacing them.

But you aren't wrong a lot of people feel it's essential to spend all of their money, not to mention maxing their credit cards, on replacing endless and unnecessary tat in their lives. I don't get it.

bingisthebest · 30/09/2016 23:17

YES! I feel overwhelmed with the stuff everywhere in the shops. My MIL came in yesterday with a coat for dd "it's a school coat". I said she just needs a coat, not one for each bloody activity.
I get so stressed when all the stuff is everywhere in the house. You know I am seriously worried about the state of the earth if we continue.

KoalaDownUnder · 30/09/2016 23:21

But I think it is also that people mark every occasion with stuff.

Recent example is the new Christmas Eve tat. You can now purchase personalised hampers for each child, with new pyjamas, hot chocolate sachets and a dvd, plus a bunch of oats to leave for Santa. Confused. I have seen them on those notonthehighstreet-type websites for up to $70 each.

it is this whole mindset that you make childhood more 'magical' by constantly buying your child things.

Ironically, it's the same children who are going to inherit a planet full of landfill and with depleted resources.

Original poster
LunaLoveg00d · 01/10/2016 11:29

Agree Koala. What I remember from childhood Christmasses was making paper chains with my sister or getting the same box of decorations out each year. Not rushing to the supermarket to buy all new stuff.

Clothing is a lot cheaper - my mum always says that when we were kids in the early 70s the only mainstream store for kids clothes was Mothercare and it was expensive. People made clothes and knitted because it was cheaper. Now it's so much more expensive to make your own and every supermarket has a range of cheap kids clothes.

I'm making a concerted effort to consume less - we needed a new lamp recently so I bought an old one off gumtree and painted it rather than getting a cheap one from Ikea and when our 13 year old sofa was looking a bit sad we paid someone to fill up the cushions and refurb the leather rather than just going out and buying another. Traidcraft has a great range of fair trade and eco friendly gifts for Christmas too.

OP posts:
SeaFlute · 01/10/2016 11:50

I sort of agree with you. I like to buy good quality clothes that feel good against my skin and last. I spend a lot on baby clothes too as I think they should be comfortable and well-finished, no itchy seams or loose threads etc.

But I also like to change my look regularly. I don't hang onto clothes for years unless they're favourites or very neutral. I don't know how to mend/sew and I don't have much free time to take things to a tailor and collect them, so it's easier to get rid of things when buttons start coming off.

I don't buy designer but Monsoon, Debenhams, M&S, White Stuff, Boden are all good value and good quality. I replace them when they start to look worn and use sales a lot.

Shopping is fun. Re-designing your personal style can make you feel a lot better about yourself. I wouldn't want to wear the same clothes for years, my lifestyle and what suits me changes over time. Same for my home, it would feel tired and outdated with the same rugs/cushions/curtains year after year.