To think that buying "stuff" is getting out of hand?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Let me preface by saying I am not a lentil knitting vegan eco-warrior. I buy stuff, I drive, I fly abroad on holiday and we don't grow our own food.

However. Since I have had my first child - only 13 years ago - the culture of buying "stuff" seems to have boomed and I don't think it's positive. Supermarkets and other shops are full of (mainly plastic) tat which people are encouraged to buy for every festival imaginable - Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, New Year, Christmas, Halloween - the list is endless.

You can't just have a pumpkin lantern for Halloween any more - you have to have fairy lights, cupcake cases, scary decorations, glow in the dark skeletons, adult AND child costumes, bunting, paper chains, etc etc etc. And nearly everything sold is poor quality or designed to be used once or twice and thrown away.

Clothing is the same - chains like the supermarkets, Primark, New Look or H&M are all about churning out clothes as cheaply as possible, designed to be worn for a few weeks or months and then chucked.

It's just all so wasteful and crazy. We are filling up landfills at a rate of knots with all of our plastic crap and disposable clothing and teaching our kids that celebrating festivals and special days isn't about being nice to each other or spending time making or finding a special gift, it's about buying as much "stuff" as you can as cheaply as you can and then chucking it out when you're finished.

All a bit depressing really.

Im great at secretly decluttering when ds is at school and dh at work! They rarely ever notice which just proves it was stuff they didn't need. Im gearing myself up to getting rid of ds playmobil collection, hes too old for it and doesn't play with it. Ive told him he can sell it on FB and keep the money but hes reluctant.

Spending is all about jobs. Savers get no interest on their money. buy British and keep more money and jobs in this country. Then there will be more money for others who desperately need it!

nannybeach If your phone works and you're happy with it, keep it!

5 years ago I finally bought a widescreen LED TV. My last one, a CRT TV was an impressive 26 years old! My cat used to sleep on the top of it. When I got my new slimline one, my cat jumped up on top of it and fell down the back!

I also don't like the use-it-once type buying that's happening so much now such as Halloween decorations.

Our local Facebook page is often full of people who ask questions along the lines of, 'how much do you spend on your kids at Christmas'. The answers are shockingly high - especially for 1 year olds. I'm not really that tight but my kids have had 1 present and a lot of wrapping paper on their first Christmas - everything else is pretty wasteful. I have a 5 year old too and I buy a few things that she has wanted for a while and I don't give myself a huge budget. There seems to be a huge NEED to spend hundreds of pounds and also a lot of paranoia about not spending enough and therefore not giving the kids what they deserve. I find it all very disturbing and wasteful.
And don't even get me started on the smash cake wastefulness.

Oh God yeah what is that smash cake thing? I don't even understand it - although i keep hearing it mentioned. And kids don't need a fortune spending on them at Christmas, some of the best presents turn out to be the cheapest / simplest. ds has asked for some glitter pens, coloured paper and an origami set! I will also get him Cluedo and a Chess set because the whole family will enjoy those.

I don't even buy Christmas presents. No one has to take part in pointless consumerism if they don't want to. i was telling my daughter yesterday I use the old hair brush she gave me about 12 years ago and hope to use it for the next 30 years.

You don't need to buy or participate in anything you don't want to. Things like Valentine's day & Halloween have no meaning to me & I don't celebrate them. Clothes buying I only do if necessary & even then I first look in the charity shop. Kids grow out of clothes so fast I don't feel the need to buy expensive clothes. Don't get me started on toys...

I totally agree OP. Sorry I can't wade through 10 pages - but I don't think my comment will have been made. The business of making things that will become obsolete in a short time is actually known as planned obsolescence - a definite ploy to ensure that we have to replace things on a regular basis. It's called capitalism!

I am 72 and recall that when I was a kid my parents had the same things in the kitchen, living rooms, bedrooms all through my childhood, same with garden furniture etc. If anything broke there would be someone who could mend it............when I think of all the "stuff" that we have now I think it is utter waste. I had the same bike pretty much all through my childhood though my older sister's bike was eventually handed down. I thin my grand kids get new bikes every year!

I despair at the amount of clothes and toys my grand children have - it's almost a deprivation, because you can't give them anything to really please them because it's just more "stuff" - oh dear I'd better stop!

One more thing that has probably been mentioned and apologies if so, these cheap clothes sold in Primark and H & M and New Look etc are made by people in Sri Lanka and Taiwan, India and other parts of 3rd world countries, who are paid a pittance and sometimes die in fires when the rickety buildings collapse. Shame on us all in the "developed" country.

Very rude to say the op gets sucked in gilly. She didn't say she did, she is complaing generally and I agree. I try and limit what I buy and if I do buy for special occasions try and buy nice things in the sale I'll treasure and keep for years. This incessant buying of clothes and things that have to be replaced is terrible. I tend not to follow fashion but buy what I like instead for this reason or you'd be constantly shopping and replacing your wardrobe and it's very wasteful financially and environmentally.

One thing that really got me annoyed was those stretchy plastic stretchy loops that you thread together to make a bracket. Can't remember what they were called. Most children had them and were making horrible tacky bracelets with them only for them to go in the bin.

"Charity shops are great for rummaging around for a surprise find but not brilliant if you are desperate for a winter coat in a particular size."

Yes, you have to shop opportunistically in charity shops, and have a bit of storage space for out of season/to be grown into clothes that aren't quite right for right now.

The Billy Joel song sums it for me.

There's an interesting American documentary called 'The True Cost' available on Netflix if any of you have access to that.

is a Youtube trailer for those of you who can't get the full thing.

YANBU I totally agree with what everyone has written on here. It is depressing to think that far too many people do create so much waste and environmentally speaking the way we live is quite horrifying. I often think about how destructive humans are with regards to our planet (I'm not a hippy but do think about the consequences for our future generations).

I agree with others to just resist the urge to buy it...but how many people do? I really think we should live in a way in which waste is minimal. I don't really know how the problem is to be tackled on a large scale or if enough people care, but it would be great if everyone could do their bit. TBH money is the problem as it's the main driving force it seems for everything 😫

Maybe you are 'supposed' to buy stuff from Primark and Matalan to wear a few times then chuck, but I get the majority of my clothes from there and wear them to death. I have t-shirts that are on their third year and are good as new.
I hate disposable culture and throw nothing away if I think I might use it again. My boyfriend calls me a hoarder.

MrsDeVere Sun 02-Oct-16 18:45:57

A lot of things are unmendable now.
A lot of the fabrics used for clothes mean they can't be repaired if they rip.
You can't darn nylon socks etc.

YANBU. I hate it too. I don't buy into all the Halloween crap either. We should be spending time 'doing things' with people rather than spending money on crap for them.

Luna, you are my kind of person, totally agree with you. I love having a rummage in charity shops, especially for books and paintings in my case.
Love a bargain too, but only shop at chainstores when I absolutely have to.
It is people who matter, not stuff! ( it was William Morris who said that quote, and he was spot on) as are you!

Well I'm sitting reading this while wearing a shirt I bought in the eighties from top shop! And a pair of cords donated by a friend. I have a wardrobe full of clothes bought years ago, mostly chain store and they are fine as long as you look after them and do an occasional mend.
Also find if you buy one good piece, such as a nice coat or a good pair of boots, it will revamp many older pieces. I absolutely hate shopping so happy not to buy and chuck.

I definitely think the more expensive clothes wear and wash better (perhaps because people are more careful with them too) however I can't justify spending loads on certain items, especially kids clothes that they grow out of so quickly. I'm a massive fan of ebay and my kids are kitted out in lovely second hand, often, designer gear for less than I'd spend on the same in matalan or primark. I've been very lucky in the fact that the vendors have been honest and the stuff is in mint condition. As I didn't pay much, I'm not so precious with it so Dc can still get messy and play (although I still like the best stuff not to get totally ruined). No one is any the wiser, not that I'd hesitate to tell them where I get the stuff from if asked , although it does make me giggle inside when the competitive mums remark, "my dc has that same top, is it gap/next" no, it's Ralph Lauren (but I only paid a fiver 😈) It also amazes me at the absolute fortune some people waste on excessive amounts of trendy and gimicky toys for their preschoolers and yet they have virtually nothing to wear (kids and parents!) Consumerism is a massive problem but we seem to live in a society where people just want more, more, more, RIGHT NOW without any thought of the future.

I totally agree OP.
I go to friends houses and realise that we have about a tenth of what most people seem to have in the house but still i want less. We just don't need much at all!
I dread Christmas and birthdays when people ask what we or the children want? We don't want anything really. But that's not an acceptable answer apparently!

I would love to say that I don't buy much, but I love stuff. I do try and think about what I buy though and most of my stuff will be well used, quite often until it falls apart.

The biggest problems in my opinion is:

Things aren't built to last. Countless repair people have told me this over the years.

Excess waste. The majority of what goes in our bin is food packaging like wrappers. We recycle plastic bottles, cans, paper and food waste.

I totally agree OP. I was in Sainsbury's today and walked by their homewears and thought all of this will be landfill soon. I try to remember that when you throw something away...there is no such thing as away really. It's just put out of sight. For Christmas and birthdays, I have started to ask for experiences like spa days, rather than "stuff". But I find it hard to be creative with my kids (2 and 4) so there is more plastic bought for them than I am comfortable with. Last thing, there is an organisation called the "library of things" that I hoping to get involved with. It's a library that lends stuff (think gardening, diy equipment) etc that are occasionally useful, but used so infrequently that it's not worth owning. Apparently a power drill is only used for 15 minutes in its life. Terrible. Great thread!

Thank you OP for starting this thread, I have wanted to begin this very one for years! (I have moderate-severe ME and am on MN lots -housebound & horizontal- but rarely well enough to post)

I just wanted to add:

STUFFICATION! STUFFICATION! STUFFICATION! STUFFICATION! STUFFICATION!

Is all this stuff making us ill? Everyone seems to be obsessed with buying more and more (my family included) and I personally cannot cope in this environment anymore. It does not really make us happy does it?

I totally empathise with MrsDeVere that loss and emotional purchasing can make it very difficult not to buy stuff and to let go of stuff. I have spent many years & house moves dragging around great boxes of sentimental items...and unwanted gifts. It is only now that my living environment has become 'cluttered' and my poor health has forced me to simplify my life that it forced me to change. Kondo was a fabulous eye-opener and I took photographs of most of my departed family's belongings and gifts and moved them on. I wanted to have positive memories of them and not a box of tattered musty smelling stuff.

I was never a big shopper anyway, mainly charity shops/boot sales. I rarely buy new. I am now 4 years in to an -eye-wateringly slow- mass declutter and feeling so much better.
In fact what's left in my house and garden are carefully chosen pre-loved items which have an interesting history to them and bring me great joy. And my house is so organised that for the first time in 20 years I actually know where most things are. I'm still amazed!

I agree with some of you that the battle is influencing other's behaviours. My family are MASSIVE present givers (Christmas is depressing!) and I am overwhelmed with tat. I have come to the conclusion that they are over-compensating (long story) and will not stop, even when asked. The arrival of more stuff in my house makes me physically ill. The only way I can deal with it is by having a charity shop bag and e-bay cupboard. Slowly, very slowly, I am emptying my house and seeing things leave has made me happier than seeing things arrive (and it supplements my meagre income). I no longer feel guilty about giving away gifts

The brain fog and pain are limiting how much more I can add, but I want to leave two things that stick in my mind when buying anything and helped me to make some changes.

1. Was my intended purchase produced by shipping our plastic waste over to China for intensive recycling and manufacturing into something of Planned Obsolescence (excellent phrase Magic) and shipped all the way back here again to sell ....for a very short shelf life? If so, I'd rather not have it. Is there an alternative?

1. Years ago, I was taken to visit a Landfill Site for an educational tour in our local countryside (SE). The vast amounts of waste were shocking!!! What stuck with me was standing on rolling green grass hills overlooking the present tip. If the sight of that wasn't bad enough, then it was pointed out that the lush, rolling green hills we were standing on were actually MOUNDS OF OUR OWN WASTE FROM OLD LANDFILL which had been re-seeded to 'blend in' with our countryside. WHEN WILL IT STOP?!!!

SOON WE WILL ALL BE LIVING ON TOP OF OUR OWN WASTE Is this what we want for our children and grandchildren?

When you throw something away...there is no away.

So, do you need to buy it in the first place?

Ye gods that was long, sorry!