To think that buying "stuff" is getting out of hand?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Let me preface by saying I am not a lentil knitting vegan eco-warrior. I buy stuff, I drive, I fly abroad on holiday and we don't grow our own food.

However. Since I have had my first child - only 13 years ago - the culture of buying "stuff" seems to have boomed and I don't think it's positive. Supermarkets and other shops are full of (mainly plastic) tat which people are encouraged to buy for every festival imaginable - Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, New Year, Christmas, Halloween - the list is endless.

You can't just have a pumpkin lantern for Halloween any more - you have to have fairy lights, cupcake cases, scary decorations, glow in the dark skeletons, adult AND child costumes, bunting, paper chains, etc etc etc. And nearly everything sold is poor quality or designed to be used once or twice and thrown away.

Clothing is the same - chains like the supermarkets, Primark, New Look or H&M are all about churning out clothes as cheaply as possible, designed to be worn for a few weeks or months and then chucked.

It's just all so wasteful and crazy. We are filling up landfills at a rate of knots with all of our plastic crap and disposable clothing and teaching our kids that celebrating festivals and special days isn't about being nice to each other or spending time making or finding a special gift, it's about buying as much "stuff" as you can as cheaply as you can and then chucking it out when you're finished.

All a bit depressing really.

unlucky Much as I'd love to, I have buggered hands and can't lift iron pans. Or scrub one clean. Most of my cooking is working round limitations. So a copper-bottom one it is. I'm using half of the pans my mum got when she married in the 50s though, and I don't have the rest only because she's still using them! Sadly dd broke the last Corningware dish and I can't find a ceramic dish that is both hob and oven-proof - I don't think you can put Pyrex on hobs?
I have a decent knife set and most other utensils are GoodGrips, so recently I've been cooking more (quit work so resting more and able to take better painkillers, so hands working more often).

not I mentioned it mainly in case anyone else is after a frying pan -after already investing in an expensive pan I doubt you are looking for a new one at the moment!
The thinner bottomed black iron (not cast iron which is really heavy and prone to shatter) frying pans are quite light though...although tend to get sticky more often than heavier omelette pans and not as sturdy..
Having said that I have never worked in a kitchen where we had to throw away a frying pan - ever! And they get used a lot - most things are cooked in them - I would say places I've worked a pan was on average used and washed 10-20 times a day -and decades old!

If anyone is looking for a suitable voucher for an older child, or a teen, I recommend Steam vouchers, which you can buy online or at GAME stores. My DS would be way more excited by one of these than by actual cash - don't ask me why, but he would.

(Steam is a website where they have periodic sales of computer games you can download, so it's a way of getting expensive games cheaply. It is also an exercise in them learning to delay gratification, bizarre as it sounds, as they learn to wait until there's a sale on and save up for whatever game they want, rather than just get money>splurge.)

My frying pan was one of my parents wedding presents over 45 yrs ago. I love it's little 'made in Ireland ' stamp.

And in attempt to not accumulate any more kids books I've just been to the library and reserved their books for the half term break. Don't mind buying non -fiction but we need to reduce the fiction books on the poor Billy bookshelves.

That's not what it's like in our house.Halloween decorations are stored away properly in the attic so we can re use them for many years,even the really cheap one's,it's the same with the Easter bits and Christmas things.

I very rarely throw clothes or shoes away,if the clothes and shoes can be re-used we either give them to charity shops or donate them somewhere else,clothes that can't be re used I'll often make cleaning rags out of them and I'll keep the buttons to re use on other clothes,with the shoes I'll keep the laces.

I try not to buy any cheap plastic tat for any of our 5DC now not even for they're stockings,I buy them decent bits that I know they'll like and use.

We pass clothes on when outgrown, and are fortunate (for now) to be able to buy good quality items that last (DC2 has gone to preschool in a Boden coat age 3-4 bought in the sale when DC1 was 2 - he wore it when massive and DC2 will wear it until outgrown, when it will still be in good condition to pass on).
We recycle, too, but are (like a PP) not good at repairing or mending. Our (cheap) decorations and Halloween/Easter bits are stored in the attic and come out year after year. Again like a PP, I try not to buy plastic nonsense for the kids, but could do better on this front.

YANBU. Christmas has made me anxious for the last 10 years or so because of the sheer amount of 'stuff' involved with it. For the most part, I hate getting presents because I know that it's going to be more crap to store (in my 2-bed flat with limited storage space!) or stuff to donate to a charity shop in the first week of January, which then makes me feel horrendous as it's such a waste of money!

We have somewhat reduced this issue by insisting on doing Secret Santa with a reasonable limit with one side of the family, so if we're lucky we might get something decent, if not, it's only 1 bad present rather than 3! On the other side, we only buy for the DC, on one hand it's good as again, it's less rubbish to worry about but my SIL is the worst for buying tat. If the limit for presents for the DC is £50, she'll spend £25 on the main present and £25 on plastic tat. WHY??? DS is only 2.5, he doesn't need anything, he still plays with his presents from last year and we're already struggling to store all of that. What do I do this year? SIL is also a fan of supermarket clothing for DC as anything more expensive 'isn't worth it'. I'd much rather him have 1 nice jumper that washes well and doesn't lose its shape than 3 cheap ones that feel horrible after 1 wash but there's no getting through to her, never mind the fact that she still insists on buying little 'jokey' presents for the adults despite the no gifts rule...Urgh, I really do feel anxious when I think about it. What a waste.

As for decorations for every 'holiday', I either don't bother, buy a few little things that go into storage and taken out year after year, or I make my own! I can't get on board with buying a load of brand new tat year on year to then throw away a week later!

I buy relatives food for christmas.

Calm - £50 sounds excess for presents for neices and nephews - surely you could limit it to a lot less than that? Or just be firm and say 'DS has everything he needs, if you really must give him something please put money into his savings account'.

brian I tried to buy the in-laws a food hamper one year. MIL gave half of it back to me.

Actually in light of that I have actually all but stopped buying her presents, her birthday is just before Christmas as well. I now get a box of chocolates and a box of biscuits for her split between the 2. Previous to this things were handed back to me half way through the year. I think the last 'stuff' I got her was a couple of years back was when she was in hospital over Christmas (for quite a long period and had been very ill) and I got some new nighties for her.

I have got my parents a little hamper in the past. That seems to work ok for them too.

mrgrumpy your mil is rude!

Oh god I've never forgotten the time I stayed at my "mothers" and needed to borrow PJ's I was handed a pure silk pair from Next, cost me £150 with my first proper pay cheque and was told "I can't remember who bought these but I've never liked them" I was speechless

We don't buy for adults in DP's family, except when ILs are doing something daft rather than spending money on themselves (eg plugging extension leads in to listen to radio in the bathroom - FIL got a battery-powered digital radio, MIL has got a good-quality walking frame). BILfamily get themselves a game or something and tell their kids it's from us, and vice versa. My parents get paperback books each year, which they love as they go travelling, and then if finished and don't want to re-read, just leave them for others. Maybe a plant and some biscuits. DP always gets a new shirt and socks or pants, because he likes my choices and I have time to shop, and he wears his clothes until they wear through. Maybe a book or game that's really for both of us.

There shouldn't be an obligation to like presents, and I really don't understand people who object to wish lists. I don't get many presents (I tell people wine is the best bet!), but friend wanted to get me something 'lovely' a couple years ago. It was indeed a lot of money for her, to buy a huge Sanctuary gift basket. Out of which I might possibly only ever want to use one item. It became a raffle prize, but I felt bad chucking it, which is the last thing she'd have wanted. I've pretended to acquire intolerances since then, which is ridiculous! I don't understand the fetishization of "surprises" rather than actually checking discreetly that someone might actually want what you want to give them!

Pissssedoff that must have been annoying and upsetting. I hope that you made off with the pjs when you went home!

I can't remember I know I didn't buy the bugger anything else though

The pj's pales mine into insignificance

I bought a plant once in a little pot - she tried to give me the pot back.

So now she gets a box of chocolates, box of biscuits and a plant pot in the plastic pot.

My Mum and Dad get the same except they get a garden plant so it doesn't stay in the house.

Pets at Home sell Xmas decorations for pets now. More landfill crap.