Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this teachers response was a bit shit? Or perhaps I am being horrendously precious?

251 replies

Gallopingthundercunt · 30/09/2016 09:53

Hugely identifying if the teacher is reading but what the hell.....

DS(12) wanted to start a club at school yesterday but (for reasons best known to himself) turned up at the wrong time. He immediately went to find the teacher running the club and apologised to her, asking her whether he would still be allowed to take part. She told him that part of the requirements for the club were that he was punctual and reliable, since he had been neither then he couldn't Confused

When DS got home he was in tears over the incident. In fairness, my DSDad (his grandad) died unexpectedly last week so I feel his response may be slightly coloured by emotion. We discussed what had happened and he accepted that he was in the wrong to turn up late and that the teacher has every right to refuse him entry to the club.

I then emailed the teacher to explain the situation (as I have above) and ask whether she would reconsider, given the circumstances and how upset DS was. For the record I have never sent an email like this in all of DS's school career, but I felt very strongly that I needed to raise the issue. This morning I received a rather curt email telling me that despite DS being under "some emotional strain" that she would not reconsider. She also reiterated the qualities that were required for the club and how DS was lacking in them.

My first response was disbelief and now (if I'm honest) real anger. I need to acknowledge her reply but I'm seriously unsure whether to take it further or whether I will appear a raving harpie who thinks the rules shouldn't apply to my precious snowflake. I'm normally quite laid back and would simply tell DS to learn from his mistakes, but this incident and the subsequent email have really got my hackles up. So AIBU or is the teacher?

OP posts:
FrameyMcFrame · 04/10/2016 14:50

Yanbu

Take it up with the head. All children deserve chances.

OurBlanche · 04/10/2016 15:19

RubyRose what a breath of fresh air! Yes, especially if you ignore ths othe teachers who have posted exactly the same sentiments!

I would imagine that OP has taken the sensible comments and is supporting her DS in his eminently sensible approach!

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/10/2016 17:16

herethereandeverywhere

We do lots of things to prevent negatives from happening.

taking a coat/umbrella in case it rains.
Filling up the car in case we need to go out.
Some Buy food in in case it snows.
We buy insurance in case we have an accident/house gets damaged etc.
Some teachers don't let kids into a club in case it brings in more children -and as someone posted up thread- they have the difficult job of writing and processes lots of late entries.

herethereandeverywhere · 04/10/2016 17:27

But Boney we are talking about organising a youth parliament which is attended by living breathing young people who are taking an interest in an extra-curricular activity........Not a selection of procedures to prevent negatives from happening. Hmm

Heaven forbid taking an action that might bring more kids into a club causing someone to 'write and process late entries'... like what? Adding their name to a register? Making extra copies of the materials? Shit that sounds like a MASSIVE ADDITIONAL BURDEN.... not. We are talking about an extra-curricular club, not a university application!

Salmotrutta · 04/10/2016 17:34

Do you run a school club herethere?

It is actually quite time consuming, and dare I say it, can be quite stressful running around getting everything sorted, applying for funding, setting up, clearing away before lunch is over etc.

Original poster
Gallopingthundercunt · 04/10/2016 17:41

A quick update for anyone who hasn't lost the will to live yet Wink

DS saw the teacher who encouraged him to appeal today. He told him that the reason he had not been allowed to join was that there was only three people turn up, therefore there was no need for an election so now the club is full. If DS had turned up on the day then the teacher would have to have made other plans.

This is absolutely fair enough and would have sufficed perfectly as an explanation for an upset child who hadn't turned up on time. The fact that the explanation had to come from the other teacher is also (IMO) a bit shit but at least now we know.

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 04/10/2016 17:51

herethereandeverywhere

so you are just going to dismiss the point.

as for the dismissal of writing up late entries, here is a post from maddie upthread that has run youth parliament
"It's time consuming and a massaive pain in the arse"

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/10/2016 17:52

Gallopingthundercunt

Sorry that this didn't work out for him.

herethereandeverywhere · 04/10/2016 18:05

Boney I really hope you teach one of my kids one day Grin

Ok, to spell this out: I accept that we do things to prevent bad things from happening, including in certain areas of life to take out insurance. I do not believe, however, that this is an appropriate analogy, nor response to the situation raised by the OP.

Whilst I don't disagree that someone said It's time consuming and a massaive pain in the arse I have to wonder why this is so?! And I have been furnished with no information to understand why it is so.

Galloping thanks for the update, sorry your DS id left disappointed but I don't think I've understood. Is the explanation that there are 3 people in the club so it's full? Or it's been topped up by 3 more people? And I agree that if that is the actual reason then the 'no second chances for lateness' thing was irrelevant. He arrived after the club was full. The end.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/10/2016 19:27

herethereandeverywhere

I'm sure that it would be a pleasure :)

acasualobserver · 04/10/2016 20:50

OP, you began the thread with this statement:
Hugely identifying if the teacher is reading but what the hell.....
Now we know the full extent of her 'crime', do you think the teacher deserved being labelled - amongst other things - a bitch, a dickhead and a cunt? Would you be happy if she had read those things?

Original poster
Gallopingthundercunt · 05/10/2016 05:26

casual,
I never really expected the thread to disintegrate the way it did Confused
If someone wishes to express an opinion on a thread then that's their prerogative, all I expressed was anger and disappointment, which I would convey to her myself (and actually have done)

The baying pack mentality is typical of AIBU and has resulted in her being called some fairly unpleasant names which was never my intention.

OP posts:
Agerbilatemycardigan · 05/10/2016 05:52

I'm not sure that I'd want my child to attend a club that someone as unpleasant as this teacher was running. That said, I would be pretty upset at their attitude. I mean it's a school club fgs!

What's so special about it that they can't accept someone because they were a little bit late?

Are they teaching them the secret to eternal life maybe, or how to fend off a shark armed only with a biro and a small spoon? Hmm

OurBlanche · 05/10/2016 08:14

Good god Aber did you read anything past page 1???

Galloping at least you know now! It does sounds as though that teacher has a very curt, unresponsive manner.... I hope you managed to convey your anger and disappointment in a singularly curt manner!! Smile

herethereandeverywhere · 05/10/2016 08:32

I don't think Galloping can be held responsible for the comments that other posters have posted. Hmm

Or is this is situation similar to the whole class getting a detention because no-one owned up to putting glue on the teachers chair? Guilt by association.

OurBlanche · 05/10/2016 08:34

I don't think casual even vaguely suggested *Galloping was responsible for the comments... Ah! I see, another 'point scored!' Pah!

herethereandeverywhere · 05/10/2016 08:41

OurBlancheWhy ask the question then?

It was a clear attempt to make the OP feel bad about the actions of others and to implicate her in them - it was directed specifically to her, not to the actual people who had posted the insulting words.

OurBlanche · 05/10/2016 09:03

There were 2 questions:

Now we know the full extent of her 'crime', do you think the teacher deserved being labelled - amongst other things - a bitch, a dickhead and a cunt? OP has answered that, no she doesn't!

Would you be happy if she had read those things? and that!

The question was that having decided that she didn't care if the details made it possible for the teacher to recognise herself, is OP happy at the way the thread went?

And she has said, repeated, that she is not!

Casual's question was to the OP about the OP and was not, imo, blaming her for the contribution of others.

But, as so many threads show, there is always more than one way of reading any post. So... we will continue to disagree, doubtless!

acasualobserver · 05/10/2016 09:05

Try not to get too carried away herethere. I asked only whether the OP would have been happy if the teacher - on the basis of this incident - had seen herself described as a bitch, a dickhead and a cunt. Interestingly, the OP didn't actually answer that question.

Oblomov16 · 05/10/2016 09:25

I am very surprised by this. Is the teacher a jobs-worth? ticking boxes all the time? She sounds to be totally lacking in empathy.
I don't know what this club is OP, by god I hope its something interesting: sky-diving, farting society - lets hope she doesn't run the debating society Hmm or the happy miserable club!!
would ds even want to be part of her club now?

Original poster
Gallopingthundercunt · 05/10/2016 09:25

If it calms the waters, I don't really care whether the teacher sees herself described as "a cunt". I personally never used any such language and would happily stand by all that I have said on this thread. If I was in any way bothered then I would have changed some of the more pertinent details and probably name changed.

I wouldn't want her to be upset if she happened to see this, but I hope that she could see my OP was a valid and fair question and that I had done nothing to encourage the name calling. As for the others, they're internet ransoms that she is never likely to meet

OP posts:
FleurThomas · 05/10/2016 09:26

A good lesson to your child about the importance of punctuality. It's a club right now, could have been be an exam/interview next time.

OurBlanche · 05/10/2016 09:45

Oblomov you don't know what the club is? Try page 2. You have no idea... 10 pages of often ranty posts.... why bother posting if you haven't got a clue what the details are... after 10 pages!!!

acasualobserver · 05/10/2016 09:47

I don't really care whether the teacher sees herself described as "a cunt"

Apologies, OP, I have clearly misread your first words on this thread. When you wrote, "Hugely identifying if the teacher is reading ..." you were thinking of the ramifications for you and your child rather than the teacher.

Oblomov16 · 05/10/2016 10:12

"why bother posting if you haven't got a clue what the details are... after 10 pages!!!"
Blanche, I'm so dreadfully sorry, forgive me, for I am not worthy.
I read 10 pages, almost every single post, and saw the picture of the empty houses of parliament and laughed at the posters pictures and comments, but missed the Op's second post, re the actual club.

Sorry.

Best we tell ever single poster off, from now on, who don't read every single post, or miss a post god-forbid, and then dare to have the audacity to post.

What about those that only read the Op, and then post? criminals, criminals I tell ya.

Hmm

yeah. Right. Rock on.